To Have and to Hold
by themindofmine
Summary: Jess and Derek settle in but trouble lurks just around the corner. Matt and Robin spend some time bonding and Cody picks up the slack. New friends and old gather to fight a common enemy.
1. Chapter 1

To Have And To Hold

Chapter One

Jess stood in front of the mirror. Her mother was fussing over her dress and Robin was finishing her hair. Sarah sat with Ava trying to keep her form figiting her dress off. Jess smiled. This was the day her mother had been looking forward to for a long time. Her father walked in. He looked so handsome in his tux.

"You ready baby?" He walked up behind her.

"You didn't have to bring your shot gun?"

"Not even your brothers gave me a hard time." Jackie kissed her daughter and went to find her seat. Jess took a deep breath.

"I'm proud of you Jesse Lynne."

"I know daddy." The music started and Ava and Sarah started out the door.

"If you need anything, or just to talk you know your never too old to come talk to your old man?" Jess touched his cheek.

"I know. Same goes for you. If you need to talk." They turned and headed down the isle. Jess was holding it together the best she could but when Derek looked up at her from the end of the isle she nearly lost it. The love in his eyes was like no other she had ever seen. Taking a deep breath she took the last few steps to stand in front of Cutler. He smiled and Derek took her arm. The rest of the ceremony was a blur. The next thing Jess remembered was kissing Derek and heading back down the isle. It wasn't till Jess was sitting at the back of the lodge bar that it hit her. She was married. Looking over at Morgan she couldn't quite believe it.

"Are you okay?" He whispered in her ear.

"Just a little shell shocked I guess." She took a drink of her soda.

"Second thoughts?" Jess looked at him.

"Never." Touching his cheek she kissed him. Cody came and sat down next to her. "You better be drinking the same thing I am." She looked at him. He lifted his coffee cup.

"I'm flying later." Jess looked at him.

"Matt's not making you work, is he?"

"No, dad is." Cody smiled. Jess shook her head. Her family was strange. "I'm flying mom and dad up to the cabin. They're spending New Year's up there. I said I had enough celebrating on Tuesday to last me through Valentines Day." Jess looked at her brother. Every now and then she caught a glimpse of the little boy he used to be. The mischief in his eyes always made her think of those summers they spent running wild in the mountains.

"The way things are going they might get snowed in till spring."

"If they did I could never go back there." Cody shook his head.

"I talked to the ball and chain and he said if Jen wants to sell the fishing lodge he'd let me buy it." Derek laughed.

"It's your money baby. If Cody thinks it's a good investment."

"Hell yeah. This winter was the first sign of anything wrong with that place in twenty years. It's solid. When I brought the guys up there they said if Aaron's first place had been built like this one it would of never fell in the quake."

"I want it to stay in the family Cody."

"I'll see what I can do. I know Jen would want that too."

"I told her that it would still be available to her whenever she wanted it. I think that helped the cause a little."

"Do you know what she'll ask." Jess smiled. "That much huh."

"You know where my check book is." Cody smiled.

"I finally talked her out of burying her money in the back yard and now she thinks she can go spending it on silly things like land and fishing lodges."

"Better then cigars and women like you suggested." Jess smiled.

"I do like her idea better Cody." Derek put in. Cody shook his head.

"In the family a whole five minutes and your dissing my investment ideas." Cody smiled. "Where is everybody?" Cody looked around. The bar was full of friends but family was no where to be found.

"I think they're plotting something behind our backs." Derek looked a little worried.

"I'm the plotter. They wouldn't even try anything without me." Cody said. "I think I may have to go investigate."

"Yeah you do that. Put your college education to good use."

"You forget baby sister, I'm just a glorified weather man." He got up. "Oh and a reminder keep the PDA's do a minimum. Grandma's here."

"Grandma's ninety two and can't see two feet in front of her. Just because she hit you for pinching your wifes ass during pictures doesn't mean she'll see me." Cody got up and headed to the bar. Matt was standing in the corner.

"You hiding from something big brother?"

"You found me so I must not be trying to hard Toad."

"I've lost my wife and kids."

"Some father you turned out to be. Dylan is with Clair and Izzy. Colton is with Cutler and Ava is with Robin. Sarah and Mom are doing something with the cake and dad around somewhere."

"Wow no wonder your in charge." Matt laughed.

"And there is a reason your not. I talked to Robin and she's fine with learning the weather stuff."

"You spend the night with a woman and you talk shop? Matthew have I not taught you anything?"

"Thank goodness I learn from your mistakes." He watched Robin bending over talking to Ava. "Daniel asked me if I was going to marry her." Cody looked at his brother.

"What did you tell him?"

"What was I suppose to say?"

"That you haven't thought that far ahead yet?"

"I've had twenty years to think that far ahead."

"Oh come on out of all those years how much time did you think about what it would be like to be with her? Be more then friends?"

"More then I'm willing to admit to you." Cody smiled.

"Live in sin for awhile. Weigh your options. Don't let some Swedish guy force your hand. I am going to go rescue my son from Cutler before the man starts feeding the kid bourbon and beer nuts." Cody pushed away from the bar and headed to his son. Robin came up to him carrying Ava.

"Someone wanted to see her Uncle Matt." Ave reached for him and he took her out of Robin's arms.

"Hey peanut." She hugged him tight. "What wrong?"

"I forgot to take my nap." Matt smiled.

"Kinda hard taking a nap with all the noise huh?"

"Yeah." Matt set the little girl on the bar and looked into her brown eyes.

"Why don't I see if I can take you up to auntie Jess's room and you can lay down for a little bit." The little girl nodded. Matt picked her up and went to the back of the bar. Jess was alone at the table. "You loose your husband already?" She smiled.

"Dad wanted him to meet somebody or something. Hey Ava girl, why the sad face?" The little girl looked at her aunt. She buried her face in Matt's neck.

"Somebody needs a nap. She was wondering if she could take one up in your room."

"Of course. Dinner isn't for another hour or so." Jess took her key out of her purse. "You my sweet girl get some rest. It's going to be a long night." Matt took the key.

"How are you holding up?"

"Better then I thought."

"Good. I'll see you in an hour." Matt headed upstairs with Ava and Robin was close behind. Jess had to smile. He was so close to being as happy as she was but he just wouldn't let it happen. Maybe when she got back she would work extra hard to try and get them together permanently. No one needed to live like her and Cutler did for all those years. It wasn't healthy.

*--*-**-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Matt tucked Ava into Jess's bed and joined Robin on the couch in front of the fire place.

"You could of stayed downstairs." She smiled.

"Then I wouldn't have gotten to watch you with Ava." Robin was amazed how genital and patient Matt had been with the little girl. She had seen them together before but never like this.

"She's a special little girl." He looked at her sleeping on the big bed. "Cody and Sarah did good."

"Yeah, they have. Have you ever thought about kids?" Matt looked at the fire.

"Not so much till Cody had some of his own, now Jess. I guess it was never a priority. Work was always my baby."

"And now?"

"Now I see the possibility." He looked at Robin. "I see a chance to start something truly meaningful. But Robin I'm still the workaholic I have been for as long as you've known me."

"You can have a life and still work."

"Not like I have been."

"You have three people who can help you do your job. They want to help Matt, just let them." He smiled.

"Those three people have been the reason I need to be there as much as I have been."

"They all have the skill Matt. You just need to give them a chance. It may take all three of them but I'm sure the place won't burn to the ground if you take a week end off."

"You forget the weekend of ninety-eight." He looked at her. "Jess was home for a week and Cody was on leave." Robin smiled and shook her head.

"That was Hart."

"Cutler was in charge. Cody and Jess went up to Crowfeather Ridge camping and those hunter's nearly shot them. They left the station with the fire burning hot. The burn marks on the floor are still there Robin." She laughed.

"I think all three of them have grown up Matt. Now it's your turn. That little brother and sister of yours have families of their own now. Think about it. I know your not ready for that yet. I just need to know it's in the back of your mind somewhere." He looked at her.

"Robin your never in the back of my mind anymore. Your always right there whenever I close my eyes. Weather it be work or not, your always there. I know I can trust Cody and Jess to run things when I'm not there. Even Cutler has stepped up. I just don't want to loose what I've worked so many years to put together."

"The twelve people who you command each and everyday are there for you Matt. They have your back. You installed that in them. They would die for you and that's not going to change if you loosen the reigns a little. No one's going to think any less of you if you get some sort of life outside the Rangers Matt." He stood up and went to the fire. He knew Robin was right. Even his hard ass tough as nails father made time for his family. But there was this voice in the back of his mind warning him to take it slow. Some days it sounded just like Jess. Matt laughed and shook his head.

"You win Robin." He turned to her. "When Jess gets back from DC I'll take a weekend off. You and I will go to San Francisco. No cell phones, no pagers." Robin smiled.

"Don't look so scared Matt. We'll take it slow." She stood up and hugged him. He held her close and hopped he wasn't messing up the best thing he had in his life.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Dinner was just starting when Matt brought Ava to sit with his parents. He slid in next to Derek.

"Sorry Ava didn't want to wake up."

"It's all good. Did you get things worked out with Robin?" Matt looked at his new brother in law. "What? You think I don't keep up with the High Mountain drama?" Matt smiled.

"So far so good." Robin slid in next to Jess. Her cheeks flushed, Derek leaned into Matt.

"She looks better then good." Matt laughed. Jess glared at him.

"Sorry." Derek smiled. It was going to be a long dinner.

*-*-**-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Jess looked out the window. Her robe pulled tight around her. The snow fell hard and fast. If it kept up they might not be leaving on Tuesday as planned. Jess was okay with that. Leaving terrified her. Things went wrong when she went away. Things she knew she couldn't control but it made her uneasy none the less. She felt Derek behind her. His hands on her shoulders and his lips on her neck. When he touched her all she wanted to do was melt into his arms. He made everything better. Leaning back he held her close. They didn't have to say anything. The comfortable silence embraced them. Jess turned and he kissed her like he had never kissed her. With a passion deeper then she had ever felt before. No words were spoken as he lead her to their bed. The last coherent though Jess had that getting married was defiantly worth it. Defiantly.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

It was nearly midnight when Cody landed the helicopter on the pad in front of the station. The snow was coming down hard and fast and he knew that if he hadn't brought his parents up to the cabin when he did he would of never made it back. Sitting in the drivers seat he shut down the machine slowly taking his time knowing that his wife and kids had long ago gone to bed. Matt and Robin had driven them home just before Cody left for the north ridge. Matt and Robin. Not two words he would of thought he would have been comfortable saying together. They were different. Not so different that it wouldn't work between them but his values were tied to work and family. Hers weren't so much. She had run away from her family in Sweden because they tried to hold her back. How she became part of their team still confused him. The last of the switches turned off Cody got out of the helicopter and headed in the station hoping the coffee was fresh and hot. He stopped off his boots. Cutler was sitting at the front desk.

"Please tell me the coffee is drinkable?"

"Tonya made it before she headed to bed."

"Why aren't you sleeping?"

"I don't do much of that lately so I told her I'd take the desk for a few hours."

"You okay?" Cutler put down his book.

"Yeah. Restless I guess." Cody got his coffee and sat across from Cutler.

"You did good today."

"I didn't think it was going to be that hard. Seeing Jess in that dress nearly brought me to my knees." Cody looked at his friend.

"I'm glad you found the strength to get though it." Cutler looked down at the desk.

"Yeah, it took a lot not to just stop it all and tell her how I felt. I was such an ass Cody. All she did was love me and I threw it away. Now I can never make it right."

"You made it right by being the bigger man. Derek is her future. Your my friend and I feel your pain man but he's the one for her."

"I know." The door opened and Matt and Robin came in.

"Hey guys, I thought you'd be home in bed by now."

"Daniel never came home last night and he still isn't back." Robin went to the computer. Cody looked at Matt.

"His stuff is still there. He went out after dinner last night." Robin's hands were shaking. Cody stood up and motioned Cutler to move and took Robin's hands in his.

"Let me." Robin nodded and Cody brought up the page he was looking for and typed in his pass words and the information he was looking for. "Go get warmed up. Do you know his cell phone carrier?" She shook her head. Cody pushed his chair back and pulled a file out of the cabinet and typed some more on the computer. Matt had taken Robin by the fire. She was still in her brides made dress. "Why don't you go change and I'll have something by the time you get back." They nodded and went upstairs.

"You think you can find him?"

"He's a fifty year old Swedish man, how hard can it be to find him in the middle of the Seirra mountains?" Cody shook his head and went back the computer.

"I forget your the wiz kid around here." Cutler grabbed his book and went to the chair in front of the fire.

"One of these days I'll teach you a thing or two."

"My dream come true. To grow up and be you." Cutler shook his head. "No thanks." Cody smiled.

"I'm sure you'd like being me."

"Not on your life. I changed your kids diaper today. You can be you and I'll be me because that was just nasty." Cody laughed. He printed out a page just as Matt and Robin came downstairs.

"I got him at a motel in Kingsbury. He checked in last night." Cody looked at Robin. "His phone's GPS puts him there now. Its right on Logging Lane, The Kingsbury." Robin nodded. "Do you want me to call there?"

"No. He hasn't answered his cell phone so I don't think he'd answer."

"We'll go." Matt looked at Robin. "You need to know he's okay." Robin looked at him.

"Yeah." She grabbed her coat and headed to the door. Matt turned to Cody.

"Thanks."

"Anytime big brother." Matt left. Cody sat back down. "Why does this not feel right to me?"

"Because somethings wrong." Cutler stood up. "You want to wake Tonya and I'll go with you?" Cody shook his head.

"You stay here." Cody went to his office and got his gun and holster and put it on his belt and grabbed his jacket. "My sister calls, you know nothing." He grabbed a radio. "I'll call when I know what's going on."

"Okay." Cody left and Cutler went behind the desk and proceeded to worry.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Matt pulled up to the hotel. The room was dark. Daniel's car was parked in front of the door. Robin looked at him.

"He's never been so irresposible."

"Mid life crisis?"

"Was I stupid to panic and get Cody involved?"

"Cody lives for this shit." Matt saw lights in the rear view mirror. "He also more parinoide then I am." Matt got out of the truck and went to the back. "Cody what the hell are you doing here?"

"Watching your six." He got out of his jeep and leaned against the hood. "It didn't feel right." Matt looked back at Robin sitting in the cab of the truck. Taking a deep breath he pushed his jacket aside to show Cody his gun.

"It didn't feel right to me either." Robin got out of the truck and started for the door. Both Matt and Cody shouted as Robin hand reached to knock on the door. They took off in a run and just as her hand hit the door the first shot rang out breaking the silence of what started out as a peaceful night.


	2. Chapter 2

To Have And To Hold

Chapter Two

Jess sat straight up in bed. Breathing heavy she turned and looked at Derek. He was sleeping soundly. She reached over and grabbed her cell phone and started to dial. The phone rang three times before someone picked up.

"High Mountain Rangers, Cutler speaking how may I help you?"

"Where are they?"

"Jess?"

"You know damn well who it is. Where are they Jimmy?"

"Home in bed like every other normal person."

"You can't lie to me Cutler." She knew he was swallowing hard. "Where are Matt and Cody?"

"They went to find Robin's brother."

"Where Cutler?"

"Jess it's your wedding night."

"Don't make me come over there and shoot your ass now tell me where my brothers are. NOW!"

"The Kingsbury Motel on Logging Lane," Jess hung up the phone and grabbed her jeans.

"Please tell me your not leaving our bed on our wedding night."

"I'm sorry Derek." She pulled on her pants and socks. He was up and getting dressed. "You can stay here."

"The hell I can. Jess..." He shook his head and pulled his sweatshirt over his head. "you know I can't." They were dressed in record time. Jess unlocked the safe in the wall and took out their guns and handed him his. "You really think this is necessary?"

She looked at him. "Of course you do." He strapped it to his waistband. They grabbed their jackets off the coat rack and headed downstairs. Derek threw her the keys. She was better driving in snow was the one thing he would always admit. Bushing off the windows they got in and headed east toward the highway.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Getting out of bed at three in the morning without asking me why." He looked at his wife. She woke up shaking and in a cold sweat. How could he just brush off her fear. That wasn't who he was.

"I'd slay dragons at three in the morning if it made you feel better baby." Jess smiled. She saw the lights before she turned on the road leading to the motel. She drove a little faster but slowed down when the back end of the jeep slid. There was Sheriff's vehicles and highway patrol cars. In the middle was Matt's truck and Cody's jeep. She skidded to a halt behind the first patrol car and got out and started to run toward the hotel but a officer stopped her. She whipped out her badge from her jacket pocket and shoved it in the mans face. He let her go. Matt was sitting on the tailgate of his truck an ice pack on his knee,

"What the hell happened?" Matt looked up to see his sister. He shook his head.

"Robin's brother didn't come home since Christmas night so we came looking for him. Cody couldn't shake his bad feeling so he followed us. Robin went to the door. We told her to stop but she didn't hear us. We ran to stop her. Cody's always been faster he plowed right by me."

"Matt?" He looked up. Jess was pale Derek caught her before she fell.

"He's okay Jess. He knocked Robin out of the way before the shots rang out. They're both fine." Jess took a deep breath. "Daniel's missing. There's a dead woman in the room and his phone his on the bedside table. Cody went to see if he could pick up his trail but with this snow." Jess pushed away from Derek and hugged her brother.

"I woke up and I couldn't breath. All I could see was you lying on the ground." Matt hugged her tight.

"Cody knocked me down when he heard the first shot. I hit my knee on an ice chunk." Jess laughed.

"How's Robin?" Jess wiped her tears and pushed away from Matt and looked at him.

"I can't tell. She got cold the minute we found the girl." Derek looked at him.

"I'll see what I can do. Jess you take care of your brother," He left and headed into the motel room.

"He's a keeper little sister." Jess smiled.

"Yeah, you don't have to remind me." She sat next to him on the tail gate and prayed this wasn't something that wouldn't mess things up with Matt and Robin.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Derek strapped his badge on his coat pocket and headed into the motel room. He was amazed how the seas parted when Jess flashed her HMR badge. Apparently they had as much pull around here as the FBI. The woman lying on the bed was blond and young. Derek didn't know much about Daniel Kelly but he knew the man wasn't a killer. He was meek and unassuming.

"Heard they had a new man in town." Morgan looked up. Charlie Walker, a man his father knew from his days walking the beat was standing in front of him with a sheriff's uniform.

"Charlie?"

"Derek Morgan, as I live an breathe."

"It's been a long time Charlie."

"Yeah, since your daddy's funeral."

"Yeah. I didn't know you moved out here."

"Been ten years. So what made you quit that dream job of yours in DC." Derek turned around to see Jess at the door.

"I found what I was looking for out here." He smiled. "So Charlie, any leads on this?"

"Just Ranger Kelly's brother." Derek tuned and looked at the woman. She was stabbed several times.

"What I know about him I can't see it."

"Well you are the best Derek. You tell me."

"I'm on my honeymoon Charlie." The older man looked at Jess. He shook his head.

"Boy, you have your hands full." Derek laughed.

"You don't have to tell me twice." He took one last look around the room. "Daniel didn't have a part of this. He doesn't have it in him." Derek turned and headed out the door. Jess was talking to Cody. The snow was getting worse. They needed to get back before the roads got worse. Derek walked up to them. "Find anything?" Cody looked up.

"Nothing. Whoever was shooting at us was doing it from the hills behind the motel. It's too dark out there to see much." Cody looked at his sister. "Take her home." He turned and went back to Matt and Robin.

"What did I miss?"

"He's pissed I got out of bed for this." She turned and headed back to the jeep Derek grabbed her hand.

"What's really going on?"

"I told him I couldn't leave knowing that Daniel is out there somewhere." Derek looked at her. "He told me that if I didn't get on that plane he'd kick my ass all the way to Chicago."

"I knew I liked that man for a reason." He looked at her. "So..." Jess smiled.

"I'm taking the plane. My second option just doesn't seem quite so time friendly." Derek put her arm around her.

"I'm sure Daniel will turn up sooner or later and it'll all turn out."

"I know I worry to much." He kissed her cheek.

"That's why you are who you are." They got into the jeep and headed back to the hotel.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*--*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Robin sat at the kitchen table and looked into her coffee cup. She had always been closer to Danial then to her other brothers. She had been sixteen when she left home for New York and a the modeling career she dreamed of. She never looked back. Sending letters once every six months to her parents was the only contact she would allow till she moved to LA when she was twenty. She took some classes and moved to the mountains and decided to do something constructive with her life. After that it was monthly letters to her parents and Danial. She had found a place where she mattered and her parents had been proud of her. Danial convinced her that she had always had a place in Stockholm with them and she was welcome back if she ever wanted to come home.

"You didn't sleep." Matt came behind her.

"Who could sleep?"

"Robin, we'll find him. Cody's already up in the chopper."

"He was always the one who knew me better then anyone else. He was the one that told me I could be anything I wanted to be." Matt sat next to her.

"We'll find him." He pulled her close and kissed her hair. "Don't worry." Robin had to worry. She knew what no one else did. That Danial had a dark side. He might of killed that woman in Kingsbury and not even know it.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Jess sat and looked at the papers in front of her. She wasn't used to sitting around all day doing nothing. Cody hid her lap top and Matt told Cutler is she even set foot in the station he was aloud to put her over his shoulder and put her in the nearest snowbank. Derek went out for a run which bothered her because she didn't run for anything unless something was chasing her. Putting on her boots, she decided that Beckum needed the run she had been promising him for over a month now. Grabbing her jacket she left a note on the coat rack and headed to the barn. The walk was brisk and she had the horse saddled in record time. Izzy came in just as she was mounting Beckum to hit the trail.

"Jess your not going out by yourself are you?"

"Beckum is coming with me." He shook his head.

"Jess you know this isn't safe. Especially with the weather being so unpredictable."

"I'm a big girl Izzy."

"Jess don't make me be the one who has to say I saw you here when you don't come back."

"Izzy, I'm going to be gone an hour, two tops. He needs to run and no one else but Matt can ride him and right now Matt can't do it."

"If your not back in two hours Jess I'm sending in the troops." She smiled.

"I promise." Izzy opened the barn door.

"Don't make me regret this Jess." She was already half way though the back meadow. Izzy shook his head and closed the doors and started cleaning out the stalls.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Jess pushed Beckum as fast and as far as she could. She was halfway to her dad's cabin before she slowed down. Stopping near the stream that marked the half way point between the station and the cabin Jess stopped and dismounted. Taking the heal of her boot she broke a hole in the ice and gave Beckum a drink. The movement at the tree line startled her. She knew it wasn't a bear. The deer had been scared off long ago by Satin. Jess took out her binoculars out of her saddle bag. Focusing in she saw a man coming toward her. It was Danial. Jess started walking toward him and took her phone out of her pocket and dialed the station.

"High Mountain Rangers, Matt Hawkes."

"Matt, it's Jess. I'm in the north meadow just this side of the creek. I found Danial."

"Jess what are you doing in the north meadow?"

"Running Beckum. I knew you couldn't do it and he needed to run before I left for two weeks." Jess got closer to Danial. "Matt he's...covered in blood."

"Please tell me you have your gun."

"My shotgun is in my saddle."

"Don't get any closer Jess. Call the damn horse and get out of there."

"Matt he's Robin's brother."

"Jess he might of killed that woman." Matt was hitting pager buttons as he paced. "Get on your horse and get as far away from him as possible."

"He might be hurt, Who knows how long he's been out here." She was a hundred yards away from him.

"Get your damn shotgun and stay away from him Jess." Cody, Izzy, and Flynn were standing in front of him. "I'm switching phones Jess don't hang up." He transferred the call to his cell and flipped it open. He heard her whistle for Beckum. "Cody get the helicopter warmed up we need to get to the north meadow." He went out the door. "Izzy get the sniper rifles out of the case. Flynn go tell Cutler to go to Robin's and sit with her till we get back. Then get to the chopper." He nodded and Matt got back to the phone. "Did you get your shotgun?"

"Damn horse is pissed at me for not running him." Jess was swearing. She started walking back toward him calling him and swearing at him.

"Jess keep as far from him as you can. We're on our way."

"Matt, he looks hurt."

"Ten minutes Jess. He'll be okay for ten minutes." Matt got into the helicopter. "I have to hang up now Jess. If you get to Beckum you ride toward the tree line as fast as you can. We'll find him." Jess hung up and pushed herself up the small incline to the creek. Her horse stood looking at the water.

"Bastard." She pushed herself the though the thigh high snow till she got to the horse. "When I get you home your going to the glue factory." Mounting him she turned him around and headed up the mountain turning back to see Danial, angry eyes staring at her. She nudged him to go faster and she turned and headed for the cover of the tree line.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Matt searched the field. He saw the tracks leading from the tree line and Jess's heading into the opposite direction.

"Cody swing around and land on the east end of the field. He couldn't of gone far." Cody nodded and headed east to the plateau.

"Maybe he fell through the creek. It's pretty deep in the middle."

"Maybe." Izzy pointed to the far west.

"He's going after Jess." Matt looked up and saw the man running.

"Son of a bitch." Cody looked for a closer place to land.

"There's no way I can land. The snow is too soft."

"Hover and we can jump."

"Matt not with your knee. Let Izzy and Flynn go and we'll set it down on the east end." Cody waited for a fight but Matt knew better.

"Okay." Cody hovered a few yards away from Danial and Izzy and Flynn jumped from the helicopter and hit the ground running. Jess came out of the woods on Beckum toward the east end of the meadow, Cody landed and shut down the engine.

"He's unarmed Flying Tiger." Flynn said over the radio.

"Bring him in Flynn."

"Meet us half way with some blankets. He's fading fast." Matt got some blankets out of the back of the helicopter. Jess stopped and grabbed them from him and continued into the meadow.

"Jess! Damn it Jesse Lynne!" Matt shook his head. "I'm going to super glue that girls ass to a chair." Cody chuckled.

"It doesn't work." Matt glared at him. "What? She was ten and she wouldn't stop chasing me and Benji around. Took her an hour to wiggle out of her jeans though. Quietest hour of my life."

"What part of 'your off for two weeks' did she not understand?"

"Her plane leaves in three days, four hours and seven minutes." Matt looked at his brother.

"I can't believe you sometimes." Izzy and Flynn had Danial wrapped up and Jess came riding back. "That horse better be back in his stall and I better not see you anywhere near the station till you get back from DC." Matt clenched his teeth. "Do you understand Jess?" She tilted her head ready for a fight but looking at Danial she knew that Matt had bigger problems.

"Yes sir. Tell Robin if she needs me she can call." Jess turned her horse around and headed back to the station. Cody got the medical bag out of the back of the helicopter.

"You could have been a little nicer to her."

"Cody she could of gotten hurt out here by herself. She knows better then to come this far out without someone to watch her back." Cody started examining Danial.

"Danial? Danial can you say something buddy?" Cody checked his pupils. "He's going into shock. We need to get him to the hospital."

"Robin..." Danial whispered. Matt looked at the man.

"I'll call Cutler and get him to meet us at the hospital." They got Danial into the chopper and headed to the hospital.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Jess put her saddle away and finished brushing Beckum. He was still mad at her.

"Get over it buddy. I promise when this is all over I'll have Matt take you up to dad's and you can run for days." She kissed his nose.

"Cheating on me already wife?" Jess looked up to see Derek at the door. She smiled.

"Matt call you?"

"Yeah. You found Danial?"

"Yeah. He looked like hell. He was covered in blood."

"Maybe I was wrong."

"Yes and no." She came to him and wrapped her arms around him and laid her head on his chest. "The Danial we know didn't kill that girl."

"Split personality?"

"One second he was looking like he was reaching for help and then next he had a fire in his eyes I've never seen before." Derek was rarely wrong when it came to profiling and he had only met Danial on Christmas Eve for a few hours and then again for Christmas dinner but nothing had sent up red flags.

"What does Robin have to say about all this?"

"I haven't talked to her since last night." He pushed her away and looked into her eyes.

"It's not like you not to sick your nose into something like this."

"Cody made me promise I'd stay away and get on that plane on Tuesday no matter what. He told me he'd disown me if I even thought about it." Derek knew he must of scared her because she didn't have a smile on her face when he told her.

"We'll you sure stuck your foot in it."

"I was just taking my horse out for a run. Why doesn't anyone believe me that I didn't go looking for Danial. Derek he went missing sixty miles in the opposite direction." Derek knew his wife. She didn't go looking for Danial but maybe Danial had gone looking for the Ranger's and gotten lost. It had snowed last night but it didn't get below freezing.

"Let's get you warmed up and we'll go to the hospital. I don't like not knowing what the hells going on anymore then you do." Derek took her hand.

"This one is all you. I'm not getting Cody pissed off at me." He pulled her close and they walked to the Jeep.

"I'll tell him I dragged you kicking and screaming." Jess smiled.

"He'll never buy that." She stopped and kissed him. "It might take a really long time to warm me up." Derek laughed.

"Baby your fires already lit. It won't take but a..." Jess hit him in the ribs. "Owww. Okay maybe in hour." He kissed and helped her into the jeep. "Have I told you how much I love you today Jess?" She looked at him.

"A few times but a girl never gets tired of hearing it." He kissed her again and shut the door and they headed to the lodge to warm both their souls.


	3. Chapter 3

To Have And To Hold

Chapter Three

Derek found Matt two hours later sitting int the waiting room that had become a second home to them in the recent months. The older man looked like he had been to hell and back more then once today. He looked up when he heard Derek's footsteps. The anger that flashed was quick and to the point.

"She's at the lodge man so take a breath." Matt looked at his sisters husband. How he had gotten Jess to stay out of this was beyond him but he wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"Thanks."

"How's Danial?" Matt shook his head.

"Hypothermia, cuts and contusions all over is body. Some of them consistent with the knife found at the scene."

"How's Robin doing?" Matt stood up and went to the window and looked out.

"I don't know. She shut down. Seeing Danial come in bloody and bruised, she lost it. I've never seen her so upset."

"Maybe I can talk to her. Find out if her brother's had black outs or lost time." Matt looked at him.

"Now you think he did it?"

"And you don't? Jess said one minute he was reaching for help and the next minute he had anger in his eyes and was coming after her like he wanted to hurt her."

"He never said much after we picked him up. He just asked for Robin and shook."

"Jess and I think he might suffer from a multi-personality disorder."

"Like schizophrenia?"

"Exactly. Robin would know if he's been on medication."

"I don't know if she'd betray her brother like that."

"If it means getting to the bottom of this she better do something or Danial is going to be charged for murder."

"I gave the crime lab his clothes. Maybe they can find something."

"Maybe, but till then we need to talk to Robin." Matt looked back out the window.

"You not on the payroll for another two weeks my friend." Derek smiled.

"This isn't work. It's family." He patted Matt on the shoulder and headed to Danial's room.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Robin held Danial's hand. Matt had ordered restraints in case her brother woke up as confused as he was on the mountain. She wanted to hate Matt for that but he was only doing his job. Danial had never been overly violent but he had lost days at a time as a teenager and then when he was in college. He would call her asking her for help. Sometimes they found out what he had done sometimes they didn't. This time she hoped it wasn't as bad as it looked.

"Any change?" Robin looked up to see Derek in the doorway. She shook her head.

"Where's Jess?"

"I left her at the lodge." Robin looked surprised. "She's following orders for once. But I told her I needed to come and see what I could do to help."

"I know you told the Sheriff that you thought he didn't have it in him. Thank you for standing up for him like that." Derek moved into the room.

"Tell me I wasn't wrong Robin." She looked at him.

"Danial would never hurt another living thing. He wouldn't even hunt with my father and the others."

"How long has he been having blackouts?" Robin wasn't surprised he could read her the way he could. She never was good at hiding anything.

"Since he was sixteen. Just a couple of hours mostly. Here and there. In college it got a little worse. He'd loose a day or two. Just before I left Stockholm we took him to a doctor and he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. They gave him medication that he's been on for almost thirty years. I found the bottle in his suitcase. It was refilled just before he came here." Derek knelt next to her and looked her in the eye.

"I need to go over things with Matt. I want to figure this out Robin but you have to let us. We want to help Danial, especially Matt." She nodded. "If you think of anything else just find us and tell us. We'll get though this." He stood. "Don't shut him out Robin. He wants to help and what he had to do today he did to protect Jess and the others."

"I know. I don't blame him. I should of told him about the medication when this all started." Derek touched her shoulder.

"It'll be okay. We'll find out what happened between the time he left and the time we found him and get it worked out."

"You still think he didn't do it?"

"I think your brother that you know and who I met couldn't. If he had friends in his head they might of pushed him to it." He looked at her. "But don't tell anyone Robin but I'm rarely wrong about things like this and I think your Danial would of stopped them before it got to far." She smiled.

"Thank you for believing in him." Derek smiled. He turned and left Robin to sit with her brother. Matt was waiting in the hall.

"Did you get anything?" Derek walked toward the waiting room.

"This stays between you, Cody , Cutler and me. If anyone else thinks he might of done it they won't look for someone else. He is on medication. We need to get the bottle and check if he was taking it. Robin said he got it refilled before he came here so it should be easy to see if he missed a day or two."

"Do you think there was a third person in that room?"

"I praying there was. How is that county's CSI team. Do you think they did a good job on the room?"

"I never worked with that division. When we go in we send in Trainer and Jacobs. It wasn't our call so the county sent in their team."

"Do you know any of them?"

"New Sheriff, new staff. I didn't get to meet with anyone on the Nevada side."

"Charlie Walker was an CPD officer who my dad trained. Maybe I can see what kind of courtesy he'll give me. Mind if I take your sister. It always helps to have a pretty woman on your arm when you want something for nothing." Matt looked at his brother in law.

"You have three days Derek. Then you get on that plane and get her the hell out of my hair for two weeks." Derek smiled. "She doesn't need this stress and neither do I." Derek patted his shoulder.

"She's my responsibility for now Matt. I promise to keep her out of your hair." Matt shook his head and watched him go.

"Promises, promises."

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Jess sat next to Derek waiting for Charlie Walker to make an appearance. The deputy at the desk kept looking at them like they were there for something other then a meeting with the sheriff. Jess wanted to stick her tongue out at the redneck but she figured it would only make things worse.

"Play nice Jess." Derek whispered in her ear.

"He would never see it coming." Charlie came out of his office.

"Derek, I didn't think I would be seeing you so soon." They stood.

"Well when duty calls." They followed him back to his office. "Have you met my wife. Jess Hawkes, Charlie Walker." He shook her hand.

"Haven't had the pleasure. Met your brother's a few times but never got the chance to meet the pretty one of the family." Jess smiled.

"Cody usually takes credit for that position." Charlie laughed.

"Heard the Rangers caught Kelly in the mountains." Derek nodded.

"Yeah, seems he won't be telling us much since he's slipped into a coma."

"I got some good men and women in my crime lab looking for whatever they can. You still think he didn't do it?"

"I don't think he had a hand it no. He might have been an accessory but nothing more. Can I trust you to give me updates on what your crime lab finds?" Charlie looked at Derek.

"You daddy was my friend Derek an I know Robin Kelly must be yours. I'll see what I can do. I thought you were on your honeymoon?"

"On our way. I'm going home for a few days then back to DC to pack up the rest of my things." Charlie stood.

"Tell your mama and your sisters I'm thinking about them. I sure do miss your daddy." Derek and Jess stood. "He would have been right proud of all you've done Derek."

"Thanks Charlie. And thanks for rushing this for us. I want to make sure Robin knows something solid before I leave on Tuesday."

"You got it." They shook hands and Jess and Derek left the office. Just as they were passing the front desk Jess turned, Derek pulled her thought the door before she could stick her tongue out at the deputy at the desk.

"Jess what am I going to do with you woman?" She smiled.

"If I have to tell you that Ranger Morgan then I think I might of jumped the gun when I married you." He pushed her against the jeep and kissed her. "Okay so maybe I did see the potential." He smiled and looked up.

"He was just jealous I got the best woman in two states." Jess laughed.

"Honey he wasn't looking at me." Derek looked at her. "Everybody knows Deputy Bertrand isn't a ladies man." Derek shook his head.

"Let's get out of her before I let you go back in there and stick your tongue out at him." He opened the door and Jess got in. As he shut the door her turned to see the deputy watching them. Derek smiled and waved and headed to his side of the jeep. Jess was still laughing. Shaking his head, he started the jeep and headed back to Tahoe.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Cody looked at the screen in front of him but it was getting hard to focus. He hadn't slept in twenty eight hours. He knew his wife was pulling her hair out at home so he called in reinforcements a few hours ago. Jen and the girls were now taking care of the boys and Ava so Sarah could get some rest. He never slacked on his responsibilities at home but he needed to find something to clear Robin's brother before the Douglas County Sheriff got their claws into him.

"Go home Cody." He looked up to see Matt, not looking any better then he felt, standing at his office door.

"Jen and the girls are at my house. I can stay for a little while longer."

"Go home. I need your ass healthy so you can pick up the slack around here."

"Maybe we should tell Jess she can't go." That was the wrong thing to say because if Cody had been an inch closer to his brother the stapler that he chucked would of hit him instead of the wall behind him.

"Jess needs to get off this god forsaken mountain and find whatever the hell it is that's making her so damn restless. I don't need you or anyone else to tell me any differently. Do you understand?"

"Something bothering you big brother?" Cody sat back in his chair. Matt looked like he hadn't slept in days.

"Nothing you need to concern yourself with." The younger man looked at his brother.

"Anything that makes you throw a stapler at my head kind of does concern me Matt. Now are you going to tell me or am I going to have to call up to that god forsaken mountain and get the one person who can make you tell me." Matt knew Cody would fly up and get his parents if he didn't tell him why he was on edge.

"Where do you want me to start? There's the fact that Robin won't talk to me. Or maybe the fact that Jess being gone for two weeks scares the hell out of me because I've grown so damn dependent on the three of us and Cutler keeping this place together I'm afraid the whole place will fall apart if she isn't here to keep it together. Maybe it's because you've been here for nearly thirty hours and you look like hell." Cody raised his eyebrows.

"Wow, you sure got some shit piling up there big brother." Cody stood up. "Jess will be back rested and better then ever. Anything we screwed up she'll fix and it'll all be good. Robin will talk to you as soon as the shock of the last two days wares off. As for me, I'm a big boy Matt. I've gone longer without sleep. You forget I have twins. We'll get thought this. We always do."

"I'm getting to old for this shit Cody."

"You live for this shit. Matt your the logical one. Your the glue that kept us together. Even when Jess and me were in college we both knew you'd be here for us no matter what. Jess made it though the mess with Lee and Hale because you were there for her. I got though the stuff with Sarah's ex because you were there for me. Robin needs you now more then ever. Do what ever you need to but don't give up on that woman Matt. The last few weeks you've been happier then I've ever seen you. Go get some sleep."

"What about you." He looked up.

"I'm more scared what you'll do if you don't get any sleep." Jess and Derek stood in the door way.

"Both of you go home." Jess looked at her brother and it nearly broke her heart. "Derek and I can hand things here for a few hours."

"Jess..."

"It a couple of hours Matt. You two can't go on like this." Derek said. "I talked to Charlie. He said he'd call if they find anything with the evidence from the motel room. Don't piss my wife off today guys. Please. I can make coffee and answer phones just as well as the next guy." Matt looked at his sister and her new husband.

"Two hours. Cutler's in charge. Cody I don't want to see you back here till tomorrow morning." Matt stood up. He hugged his sister close. "Thanks. I owe you one." She shook her head.

"It's what we do Matty." He left the office and headed upstairs. "Give Derek the pass words to get to the FBI data base and interpol. We may need to get some information from them."

"Jess what's going through that twisted mind of yours?"

"Nothing worth mentioning right now."

"Remember your on vacation." Jess laughed and he handed her the paper with the codes on it. "Stay out of trouble. Both of you." He got up. "Thanks for being here."

"I'm always here for my brothers." Cody hugged her.

"I thought maybe you might not need us now that your a big girl with a husband and all." Jess smiled.

"Your never to old to need your family." Grabbing his coat he headed out the door. Stopping he looked at his sister and her husband.

"Don't even suggest to Matt that you not going on Tuesday. He's a little...tense about that subject." Jess nodded.

"Will do. Now get home." Cody shut the door. Jess went around the desk and picked up the stapler from the floor. "I wonder what we missed?"

"I have a feeling we don't want to know."

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Derek was cooking dinner and Jess and Cutler were filing papers and going over the toxicology report on Danial Kelly when Matt came downstairs looking more human then he had four hours ago.

"Good evening sunshine." Jess smiled. "Feel better?"

"Yeah. Thanks again Jess. What smells so good?"

"My husbands cooking dinner." Matt looked impressed.

"Wow maybe I can take a few days off when you get back. At least I won't have to worry about the cooking." Jess laughed.

"His coffee doesn't suck either." Cutler added.

"Danial's tox report came in. His BAL was point one three. There was traces of Seroquel in his system but the doctor says it isn't consistent with him taking it that morning or even the day before. He's been at least three days with out it. Cutler got the bottle from Robins and it looks like from the time he got them Danial only missed the last three days." Jess handed the file to Matt. "Want some more good news."

"Please."

"There was three different blood samples on Danial's shirt. His, the woman in the hotel and a john doe."

"That's good. Any hits on CODUS?"

"No but they're running it though interpol."

"Your thinking whoever it is might of followed him in from Sweden?"

"Maybe. I mean Robin is the only one he knows in the states. He's never been anywhere else." Jess took another file and handed it to him. "Megan Hendricks, 26, Fresno. She checked into the motel five days ago. No car and she paid in cash. The clerk who works nights is on vacation till after the New Year. The day clerk says she never saw anyone go in or out of Hendricks room during her shifts. The maid cleaned once a day around eleven and never saw anything out of the ordinary."

"Was the night clerks vacation planed?"

"Six weeks ago."

"Thanks Jess." She stood up.

"Anytime." The radio crackled.

"Jesse Hawkes to Ranger base." Jess instinctively picked up the head set.

"Go ahead dad."

"Jess?" Matt looked at her and shrugged.

"Hi, hows the vacation going?"

"Why are you working the radio?"

"Derek's cooking dinner and I was closest." She rolled her eyes at Matt.

"Where's Matt?"

"Right here. Would you like to talk to him?" She handed Matt the head set.

"Yes."

"Dad."

"How's the weather?"

"Looks good till Thursday."

"Good because your sister better be on a plane east on Tuesday or your flying her there yourself. You understand me?"

"Yes sir." Matt glared at Jess. "Anything else."

"I found some blood near the trail to the east meadow this afternoon. I tracked it as far as I could before it started to get dark. You might want to send somebody up here in the morning."

"I'll send Cody at first light."

"What aren't you telling me son."

"Robin's brother ran into a little trouble in Kingsbury. We're working out the details."

"Then this blood has nothing to do with what your working on?"

"Maybe, I'll get Cody up there as soon as I can. Thanks for calling. Enjoy your vacation."

"Tell Robin we're here if she needs us."

"I will dad, thanks." Matt handed Jess the head set and went to his office without another word. Cutler looked at Jess.

"I've never seen him like this Jess. Even when Cody was missing." Jess watched her brother.

"When Cody was missing he knew we'd get him back. Right now he's worried Robin won't come back after this." Cutler looked at her. "She hasn't been home in a long time. If Danial can't she may have to."

"To Stockholm?" Jess nodded. "She hasn't called that her home in twenty five years."

"Let's hope she doesn't have to again." Jess finished filing her papers and got ready for dinner.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Derek's veal picata was a big hit. Even Matt relaxed for a little while to enjoy the food and the company. Jess watched her brother. She could see the pain in his eyes. This was hurting him way more then he would admit. After the dishes were done and everyone had scattered Derek and Jess headed back to the lodge.

"Can we stop at the hospital?" She looked at her husband.

"Maybe nows not the time Jess."

"Derek his heart is breaking. I can't stand by and let that happen. She consistently rides him for putting family first now the first sign of trouble with hers she shuts him out." Derek knew this was a fight he couldn't win. He took a left at the bottom of the road. "Thank you." She took his hand. "I love you." He smiled.

"I love you too Jess." The drive to the hospital was done in comfortable silence. After today all Jess wanted to do was get on a plane and take a break from the Hight Mountain drama.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Robin stood outside Danial's door as Shep and the nurses examen him once again. He was still in a coma but his body temperature had risen to almost normal. She looked up to see Jess and Derek walking down the hall. She had never been more happy to see anyone in all her life. The tears started and she couldn't stop. Jess came to her and put her arms around her. Derek stayed back and let the two woman do whatever they needed to get though this.

"Jess..." Robin couldn't stop crying.

"It'll be okay." Jess hugged her friend. "Matt's doing everything he can to clear this up." Robin looked at her.

"He believes Danial didn't do this?"

"Of course he does. Robin he loves you. It's tearing him up knowing that your here alone. He's be here in a heartbeat if you asked him Robin."

"I thought maybe he was angry about not telling about Danial's medication."

"No. He wants to help Robin thats all." Jess hugged her friend. "Call him. Tell him you need him. It would make a world of difference."

"Okay. You should be anywhere but here Jess."

"This is where I wanted to be. Now that I've made you see my brother wants to be here I can go on with my life." She kissed Robin on the cheek. "Call him. He'll be here before you hang up the phone."

"Okay. Have a great honeymoon Jess. I'm sorry this interrupted it." Jess smiled.

"Truth be told I needed a little break." Robin laughed.

"Go, get out of here." Jess turned and headed to the waiting room to find her husband. Derek was waiting for her by the door.

"Everything work out?"

"I hope so." She put her arm around him. "Thank you for understanding all this crap. I swear things are never this complicated."

"You keep telling me that and the drama just keeps getting thicker and thicker." Derek pulled her close. "It's kinda like one big snow opera." Jess poked him in the ribs.

"You asking for it Morgan." He kissed the top of her head.

"Maybe when this is all over I can get some." Jess laughed.

"Didn't know you were feeling neglected husband."

"Well it's been almost twelve hours." Jess shook her head.

"Poor baby. What did you do when you were in DC and I was here?"

"You don't wanna know." Derek opened the door of the jeep and Jess got in with a smile on her face. Derek shut the door with a smile on his.

*-*-*--*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

The phone call came just as Matt was finishing up some paperwork on his desk.

"Matt Hawkes."

"Hi."

"Robin. Is everything okay?"

"Are you busy?"

"No, I just finished some paper work."

"Can you come to the hospital?"

"Yeah, sure. Do you need anything?"

"Maybe a change of clothes."

"Okay, I'll stop at the house and pick some up for you."

"Thanks. I'll see you soon." Matt hung up the phone and stood up. Getting his coat he headed to the front desk.

"Cutler..."

"I know, I'm in charge and don't let Jess set foot in the door and if Cody is here before sunrise I'm to kick his ass out the door."

"Your getting pretty good at that." He smiled.

"Go get your woman."

"I think I will." Matt left with the first smile he had on his face since he watched his sister get married.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Jess snuggled closer to her husband. The wind was blowing and the snow was getting worse but she was content laying in the big bed with the man she loved. Even the mountain crumbling around them wouldn't make her move from this spot at this moment.

"If I didn't know better I would think you were purring Jesse Lynne." She smiled.

"I just might be." She looked up at Derek. "You sure know how to treat a lady Ranger Morgan." He leaned over and kissed her.

"Never had any complaints."

"Oh is that how we're going to play this." He laughed.

"Baby the past is in the past. Your the only woman I'm going to toke complaints from for a very long time." Jess smiled. The phone rang. Jess looked at the clock.

"Three am. Can't be good." Jess picked it up. "Hello."

"Thank you." It was Matt.

"For what?"

"Knowing when to stick your nose into things and when not to."

"Everything okay?"

"As good as it can be. You weren't sleeping were you?"

"At three o'clock in the morning, me...never."

"Go back to your husband. Thanks again Jess. For everything. I love you."

"I love you to big guy." Jess hung up. She smiled as she snuggled back in her husbands arms.

"Everything as it should be?" Jess nodded. "Want to go back to bed?" She shook her head. Derek smiled. "Round two?" She nodded and stretched to kiss him. It was going to be a very long night.


	4. Chapter 4

To Have and To Hold

Chapter Four

Cody poured himself a cup of coffee and looked out the kitchen window. The sun wasn't up yet but if he even set foot in the station before it did he knew Matt would go ballistic again. He didn't need another stapler chucked at his head today.

"Do want some eggs?" Sarah was in the door way.

"You don't have to cook baby, I can grab some toast at the station." She went to the cupboard.

"It's no problem." He took her hand and pulled her to him.

"I'm good." Cody kissed his wife. "I'm sorry about the last couple of days."

"Danial's family."

"When Jess gets back and Matt takes a few days off we're going to take the kids to Disneyland."

"Spring break is only three months away." Sarah smiled. "Let's play it by ear." He looked into his wife's green eyes.

"Thank you for being here when I get home, no matter what time of day it is."

"Where else would I be Cody?"

"Sleeping with the plumber I paid a zillion dollars to fix that leak in the sink upstairs." He laughed. Sarah smiled.

"He couldn't keep up with me." She kissed him. "Go to work so you can come home at a decent hour."

"Like that's ever going to happen." He kissed her one last time and headed out the door.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-**-*-*-

Matt rolled over and pulled the woman next to him close. It had been after two in the morning before he convinced Robin that she needed to get some sleep. She agreed only if he came with her. He wasn't going to argue with her. He sat up and looked at the clock. It was nearly eight. He should get to work but he was afraid if he moved the last few hours would disappear.

"You better get to work." Robin turned and looked at him. "Cody left an hour ago."

"Yeah. Dad found a blood trail up near the east meadow trail. Maybe your brother's friends hanging out in the woods."

"If he is he's a Popsicle."

"We can only hope." He kissed her. "Meet me at the station and I'll drive you to the hospital later." He got out of bed.

"Okay. I'm going to make some calls. My brothers should know about Danial." Matt got dressed and leaned over and kissed her one last time.

"You need me, call me." She smiled.

"I will." Leaving her was the hardest thing he had done in a long time.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Cody and Flynn landed on the only solid surface within ten miles of his fathers cabin. Grabbing their skies and strapping them on they headed to the east meadow trail. He knew that his father would be waiting at the trail because he had called him twice before he landed. Flynn looked at his friend.

"You okay man?"

"Yeah, why? Don't I look okay?" They skied down the small incline.

"Just wondering. You haven't been your jovial self the last few days. I was just wondering if you needed to talk it out that's all."

"Matt threw a stapler at my head. Other then that life's been just peachy." Cody stopped and adjusted his sunglasses. "Any other stupid questions Benji?"

"She's going to be okay Cody." Benji lengthened his strides to match his friends.

"I'm not worried about Jess."

"How did you know that's who I was talking about then?"

"Oh come on. Jess is a big girl. Matt is the one who thinks she's not going to come back."

"So now your thinking like him?"

"No. Jess can take care of herself and she's coming back here in two weeks. And if all of you know what's good for you you'll behave and make sure you don't screw up because Matt will shove his boot so far up your ass if anything goes wrong." Cody saw his father up ahead, "And you say one word to Jesse it'll be my boot up your ass Flynn."

"Yes sir, Mr. Hawkes, sir." Cody smacked him in the shoulder.

"Cut that out." Jesse looked up when the two Rangers skied up to him.

"Took you long enough." Cody took off his gloves and sunglasses.

"Good morning to you to dad. My night sucked, how was yours?"

"Sarah not spiking your morning coffee with prosac anymore?" Cody raised his eyebrows.

"Point to the old man. So, what do have for me?"

"Blood trail. Mansicle." Cody looked at the frozen body in the snow. He nodded.

"Not bad police work pops." He took out his radio. "Ace to Ranger base."

"Go ahead Ace."

"Find Flying Tiger and tell him we found a body at the end of the blood trail and we're bringing him into Tahoe General."

"You got it Ace. Flash out." Cody looked at the man.

"Nobody local. He's not dressed for a stroll in the woods." Flynn took a pair latex gloves out of his pocket and put them on and reached into the man's back pocket.

"He's got Danial's wallet." Cody put on a pair of gloves and turned the body. A sniper rifle lay under it.

"Well what do we have here?" Cody looked at the gun. "Same caliber that shot that fishermen last week.

"You think this guys been here all this time?"

"Could be. Saw Danial with the woman and thought he might be an easy target." Cody reached into the man's front pocket. He pulled out some money and driver's license. "Wow, didn't see that one coming." He handed it to his father.

"Terrance White?" He looked at Cody. "Jeff White's son?" Flynn looked at the man.

"We went to high school with him right?"

"Yeah, he dated Jess for about three days."

"Till he tried to hit her and she broke his nose."

"That's what all the reports say." Cody stood up. Jesse knew better. Jess had broken his nose but Cody had broken his ribs, his hand and his ego. "How long do you think he's been out here dad?"

"Early yesterday maybe. Me and your mother didn't leave the cabin yesterday till later in the afternoon. We went for a walk and that's when we found the blood." Cody nodded.

"Benji go back to the chopper and get the rack."

"Yeah, whatever you say boss." He turned and headed back the way they had come.

"You okay son?"

"He quit school after the fight. He never came back. Jeff said he joined the Army. Needed to prove he wasn't a coward."

"He hit your sister Cody."

"Jess handled it. I should of let it go."

"You paid for it." Cody looked at his dad.

"More then you could imagine."

"I know you beat yourself up about it for a long time. If you hadn't Matt or I might of and it would have been worse. You stopped." He looked at his son with the understanding of a father. "I might not have." Jesse put his hand on his sons shoulder. "He threw the first punch."

"That's the only thing that saved my ass." He looked down at the man who had once been a welcome presents in the Hawkes home. "Jess is going to love this."

"Two days Cody." He looked at his dad.

"I can't keep this from her."

"It will just complicate things son. Just tell her it was a John Doe."

"I can't lie to you what makes you think I can lie to her."

"Because you know it will cause stress. Stress she doesn't need right now. He may be her past but when her past is brought up she remembers other things and right now she doesn't need to be thinking about Lee and Hale."

"I'll do my best but Matt and the others will remember who he is."

"And the others know whats good for Jess as well as you do." Benji came back with the rack. "I'm heading back up to your mother. Call me when you back to the station." He handed Cody back the license.

"Yeah." Cody and Flynn lifted the man onto the metal rack and strapped him in. "Keep his name under wraps from Jess. Jesse's orders."

"Okay. You think she'll freak?"

"No but dad wants to make sure she's okay to leave on Tuesday."

"For people who claim to love Jess so much, your all trying really hard to get her off this mountain and into the real world."

"Seems that way doesn't it. Flynn Jess doesn't know I beat Terry up that day. He never came back to school and she just thought he thought she went to Matt."

"Did she?"

"If I hadn't of seen it happen she wouldn't of told me." Cody looked back at the man he was pulling behind him. "That was the last time somebody got the better of her."

"That's why she'll kick your ass if you get fresh with her."

"Now you not only have to worry that she'll kick your ass but you got watch out for her husband. I have a feeling he won't take kindly to someone fondling what belongs to him."

"Yeah. Maybe we should call Matt and give him the heads up." Cody took his phone out of his pocket and dialed his brother.

"Matt Hawkes."

"Are you meeting me at the hospital?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Where's Jess?"

"Hopefully in bed with her husband. Why?"

"The guy we found frozen is Terrence White."

"Should that name mean anything to her?"

"Terry White."

"The son of a bitch that hit her your senior year."

"Yeah and we found a sniper rifle with his body."

"Wow. Okay, bring him in and let's hope we can clear Danial." Cody and Flynn loaded up the body and headed to the hospital.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Jess was still in bed when Derek got back from his run. He took a shower and crawled back into bed.

"How you run without anyone or anything chasing you seems to be a waste of energy that could be spent elsewhere." Jess opened one eye.

"Baby I have a ton of energy left for anything you need me to do." He pulled her into his arms. "Let's not leave for the rest of the day. Just stay in and order room service." Kissing her down her neck she smiled.

"I like that idea." She stretched and pushed the phone off the hook. Grabbing her cell phone she turned it off. Derek reached behind him and turned his off. "I haven't done that since I've had it" Derek laughed.

"We'll have rangers landing on the roof if you leave it that way too long." She smiled.

"Let them." Jess rolled over and kissed her husband again. "I love you Derek Morgan." He pulled her on top of him and kissed her deeply.

"I love you Jess. Don't ever doubt that." She smiled as he rolled over throwing her down to the bed and continued showing her just how much he loved her.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Cody and Matt stood in the morgue. Trainer had on scrubs and was taking samples from the body laying on the metal table. Dr. Jessup stood back and watched the younger man work.

"Dad say anything to you about White?" Matt asked his brother.

"Nope. Just tried to make me feel less guilty about turning the man into a killer."

"Cody, he was a bastard before you beat the crap out of him. And if it helps he broke his hand hitting the bleachers not you."

"He quit school after the fight." Matt handed him a file.

"He got kicked out three days before he hit Jess for pushing the girls gym teacher when she told him to go to class. He wasn't even suppose to be on school grounds that day. Why we didn't see what a bastard he was is beyond me."

"Thank God Jess got better taste in men since she was sixteen."

"She still loves a bad boy though." Trainer looked up.

"You two done with your coffee clutch there or would you like to know what I found?"

"Sorry Jayden." Matt looked up.

"I found blond hair, long and short. The shorter has traces of gray so I'm thinking it might be Danial's. I called in the Douglas County team to double check the samples so we won't be charged with tampering."

"Your always thinking Jay, thanks."

"I'll have the doc finish up and bring you the rest when I have it."

"Great. We'll see you back at the station." Matt and Cody turned to leave.

"Breakfast would be good too, when I get there." Cody turned around.

"You can find a blood stain in a red room but you can't toast a piece of bread. What's this world coming to?" Trainer laughed and Cody and Matt headed back to the station.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Cutler sat behind the front desk with papers spread all around him. He was trying to put Danial Kelly anyplace with Terry White to prove they knew each other. It was getting harder by the hour.

"Take a break." Cody came in the front door. "You'll go blind."

"It's only been two hours. Did you know Terry White has a pass port?"

"He was in the army so I would assume he'd have one."

"He never left the states when he was enlisted. He got an honorable discharge in ninety eight. Seems his wife had cancer and no family to take care of her."

"Eight years in the Army and never left the states. I find that hard to believe."

"He was a computer specialist assigned to Fort Carson, Colorado. He transferred once to Oklahoma but went back to Fort Carson a year before his discharge."

"Where has he gone outside the states?"

"That's your job. I only have a police grade clearance. You my friend are the one who can get that without filling out three hundred pages of request forms." Cody smiled.

"Sucks to be you doesn't it?"

"Most days...no." Cody went to the computer and entered a few things and pulled up Terry White's pass port information.

"He's been to Stockholm three times this year. Maybe he stayed at the inn." Cody pulled up credit card records. "All three times." Cody stood. "Damn. Now what?"

"We know they must of known each other."

"But why come to the states and murder a woman only to freeze to death."

"Solving the murder just isn't good enough for you is it Hawkes?" Cody looked at his friend.

"No, not really. It shouldn't be for you either but you've never been the overachiever that I am."

"Where's Matt."

"With Robin." He grabbed some papers. "Email all this stuff to the Douglas County Sheriff's department."

"You got it." Cody went into the kitchen to get a much needed cup of coffee. Frank and Tim sat at the table eating breakfast.

"Morning." The both greeted him and Cody made his way into his office. A few minutes later Frank came in.

"You have a minute Cody?" He looked up.

"Yeah. Have a seat. What's up Frank?"

"I know things have been nuts around here lately but I wanted to tell you and Matt that I'm handing in my retirement papers in a few months. I thought I would stick it out till Jess has the baby so your not to short handed." Cody looked at the man who had taught all three of the Hawkes how to fly. He knew it was getting harder for Frank to get going in the morning and do anything more then fly but he tried to ignore his friend was getting older.

"Okay. I'm glad you want to stick it out till Jess has the baby. If things get to rough for you, you know you can tell us."

"I know. I think I can make it till next fall but I'll let you know." Cody looked into his friends eyes. "I just wanted to let you know that's the time frame I'm looking at."

"You sticking around here though, right?"

"Yeah. The house is paid for. Ginny and I want to travel a bit but this will always be home."

"Good. Your family Frank. We wouldn't have it any other way." Frank stood and Cody followed and they shook hands. "You know Matt and I are here if you ever need anything."

"Always have." The older man left the room and Cody sat back in his chair. Frank retiring. Things were changing fast around here. He hated change. Change brought chaos and chaos brought trouble. He hated trouble more then change.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Jess sat at the table in front of the big picture window. Her legs curled up underneath her. She could see the Ranger station sitting on top of the hill. The helicopter had left at sunrise and come back a few hours later. The Douglas County Sheriff was there now. They must have found something out about Danial. He felt Derek behind her. He handed her the phone. She shook her head.

"I don't have to know everything that happens out there." Derek went in front of her and bent down in front of her.

"You don't have to but you want to." He looked into her brown eyes. "Call them. Find out what they have." Jess grabbed her phone and turned it on. She dialed the office.

"HMR Station, Cutler speaking how may I help you?"

"You can not be so damn chipper."

"Jess, well you know I learned my phone skills from you."

"What's going on up there. And don't lie to me Cutler."

"Your dad found a frozen guy on the east meadow trail. Cody and Flynn went up there and got him this morning. Jayden did his CSI thing and they found hair and fiber. So they think this guy might be the killer."

"Okay, what aren't you telling me Jimmy?"

"Jess really your getting paranoid at your old age."

"No, I just know you and your talking way to nice to me. There isn't a hint of sarcasm in your voice so I know your hiding something." There was some static sounds and talking she couldn't quite hear and the line went dead. "Bastard." She flipped her phone closed.

"Something up?"

"They found a body on the east meadow trail. They think he was with Danial."

"And?"

"Nothing really. I know he's hiding something from me but funny things is..." She turned off her phone. "I don't care." She kissed him. "What's for lunch?"

"Whatever you want baby." He kissed her.

"You."

"You have me." He laughed.

"I'm glad I kissed you in that meadow that day." She touched his cheek.

"Not half as glad as I am." He picked her up and laid her down on the bed. "It was the single most wonderful day of my life Jess." He kissed her.

"I know that feeling." She looked into his eyes. Jess knew what forever looked like looking in his eyes. Derek looked at her like her father looked at her mother. Jess never felt more loved then she did at that moment. She could live the rest of her life with that feeling in her heart and never need anything else.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Matt sat across from Sheriff Walker. He wished Derek was here to run point with the man. He was having trouble reading him. He handed over all the evidence they had on Terry White.

"You boys are good, I give you that." Matt smiled.

"The women aren't so bad either Sheriff."

"I know I met your sister. She's got a sharp mind that one."

"So I've been told."

"Must have had to. To get Morgan away from the BAU."

"Love does strange things."

"Do you think we can tie this White boy into the dead fisherman from El Dorado County?"

"The gun is the same caliber that was used in that shooting but if White was wondering around the country side he might of found it."

"You said your brother combed the scene for it."

"Yeah. Cody has never lost a track but that snow we got put a damper on a lot of things. We have our ballistics team running it to see if it's a match." Sheriff Walker stood up and shook Matt's hand.

"We'll compile your evidence and ours and see what comes out in the end."

"Sounds like a plan. If you need anything else just give us a call. Either Cody or I will be in the office. Tomorrow we'll be taking twelve hour shifts till Jess and Derek get back."

"Sounds good. I'll get my people on this and maybe when Ranger Kelly's brother wakes up this will all be over."

"I hope so." The sheriff left and Matt went back to the paper work he was so very far behind in. Cody came in with a cup of coffee. "You read my mind." Cody sat across from him.

"Robin called when you were in with Walker. She said that Sarah would drive her to the hospital but if you want to pick her up when your shift ends she would appreciated it."

"More good news. I won't be leaving this chair till midnight the way it's going."

"I can fill out reports as well as Jess can if you need a hand just ask Matt."

"I know. I just want to get far enough behind so that when Jess gets back she feels missed." Cody laughed.

"I knew there was a method behind your madness."

"You know I miss you when you gone too."

"I never go anywhere."

"Oh well then you should so we could see if I would miss you as much." Matt smiled. "You know your due for a life sometime soon, don't you?"

"What about you. I found time to find a wife and have three kids in my spare time."

"Adopting one and having two at once is kind of cheating little brother."

"I still found a pretty decent wife."

"That you did. And Jess found a husband and got pregnant. Maybe I am giving you guys to much time off." Cody laughed.

"You should take some time and make Robin permanent."

"I think I just might after Jess gets back. We have a lot to sort out." Matt knew they had to clear the air before they went any farther with this relationship.

"You know me and Cutler can take care of the place if you need to work it out now."

"I know. I may take you up on that but until Danial wakes up things are in limbo for her." Cody stood up.

"Well just let me know and I can cover whatever you need."

"Thanks Toad." Cody nodded.

"I'll be in my office if you need me."

"Okay." Matt watched his brother walk out of the room. Somewhere along the way Cody and Jess had become really kick ass grown ups and Matt couldn't help but miss the pain in the ass kids they used to be.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Cutler slid under the blazer and turned on the flashlight. The minute Jess takes time off something goes wrong with his vehicle. He knew he should just leave it and have the tow truck come and tow it back to the station but he didn't want to look like a complete idiot if it was something as trivial as a loose wire or a dead battery. He saw someone's legs from his position underneath the blazer. He'd know the boots anywhere.

"You hiding under there Cutler or are you trying to decide if you should call for back up."

"Jess." He slid out from under the truck. She offered him her hand and she pulled him up.

"I really can't leave for two weeks can I?"

"I would of figured it out." Derek popped the hood. Jess opened it and climbed on the bumper.

"When was the last time you got the oil changed on this beast." She shook her head. "I understand the fact you like the older model but Jimmy you need to take better care of her. I can only do so much." She took her gloves out of her back pocket and pulled a couple of spark plugs. She reached to grab the cup her husband had in his hand and popped the lid and dipped the spark plugs in the soda. Then she poured the rest of it over his corroded battery cables. Handing the cup to Derek he threw it in the garbage and went to try to start the beast Cutler called a vehicle. It turned over and started on the first try.

"You a goddess off all things mechanical." He bowed to her.

"Don't you forget it." She jumped down off the bumper and Derek closed the hood.

"Thank you." She took off her gloves and put them back in her pocket.

"Go to Earl's and get the oil changed before it gets cold again or your ass will be walking to the next call." She smiled.

"I will. It was nice seeing you two again." Jess took Derek's hand and they walked down main street. Cutler shook his head. What the hell was he thinking when he cheated on that woman. He threw away the best thing that ever happened to him.


	5. Chapter 5

To Have And To Hold

Chapter Five

Monday dawned bright and sunny. Jess was in the shower when Derek came back from his run. He stepped in the shower behind her and put his cold hands on her belly. She jumped and nearly knocked both of them over.

"I didn't mean to startle you." He whispered in her ear.

"Warm your hands before you go touching me would you." She turned around. "How was your run."

"You should try it sometime. It's invigorating."

"So is what we did three times last night." She kissed him.

"I must admit it's quite the Cardiod work out." He rand his hands down her back.

"You run all you want and I'll be waiting for you to finish your work out."

"Is that the way it's going to be?"

"For now. Maybe when the temperature gets above frigid we'll talk about it again." Derek took the shampoo and put some in his palm and started washing Jess's hair. "MMMM, I'll give you an hour to stop that." Derek laughed.

"We have to meet your parents for lunch, or did you forget?"

"Cody can drop us a mile from the cabin."

"I thought you wanted to ride up there?"

"Beckum does need to run some more to work out his attitude problem." She leaned back against the spray of water and rinsed her hair.

"I think thats a good idea." They finished their shower among other things and got ready to ride up to see Jesse and Jackie. Jess was putting up her hair when there was a knock at the door.

"I forgot to put the phones back on."

"Don't apologize Jess. Your not on call." Derek opened the door. Matt stood in the hall.

"Derek."

"Morning Matt." He stepped back and let his brother in law in.

"I know your on your way to the cabin. I thought I would catch you before you left."

"What's wrong?" Jess went to stand in front of her brother.

"Shep doesn't think Danial may ever recover from his coma." Derek grabbed his jacket. He knew Matt wouldn't of come if he didn't need to talk to his sister.

"I'll meet you downstairs." Leaving the Hawkes alone he headed down to the lobby.

"How's Robin taking it?"

"Like she takes everything. Quiet and sullen. I suck at this emotional stuff Jess. I don't know what to tell her. What to say. I mean I think what if it was Cody or you, I'd be a wreck but she's so calm it's scary."

"Robin wasn't raised like us. Family isn't at the top of the list with her like it is with us. I know she loves Danial but it's been twenty five years since she went home Matt." Jess knew it was tearing her brother apart to see Robin suffering and not able to help her. "Just be there for her Matt. I think she's been around us long enough to know we don't go away that easily." He smiled.

"I knew I could trust you to come up with a solution."

"Cody couldn't?"

"You were my first stop. He'd tell me to tell her to suck it up and take her to bed." Jess smiled.

"And not that politely." She looked at her brother. "Just do what feels right Matt. She doesn't know what's she's feeling right now." Jess hugged him. "This place is going to fall apart without me isn't it?"

"Don't tell anyone else but, yeah. But you need to do this. One last adventure before you settle down." He hugged her tighter and then let her go. "Just come back." She smiled.

"I wouldn't leave you hanging big brother."

"I'm holding you to that." Jess grabbed her jacket and cell phone. "I can't believe he got you to turn that thing off."

"Well it kinda sucks when it rings when your in the middle of..." Matt put his hand over her mouth.

"Over sharing baby sister." Jess laughed and they headed downstairs.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Derek had little trouble keeping up with Jess and Beckum on Matt's stallion. Jess was really proud of him. For a city boy he sure could ride. It took them a little over an hour to get to her parents cabin. Derek didn't remember it being so beautiful. They put their horses in the coral and Jesse met them on the porch.

"You made it." Jess smiled and hugged her father.

"You didn't think we could?" Jesse looked at his daughter.

"I thought maybe you had other plans." He laughed.

"Nothings more important then lunch with my parents, even if we have to climb a mountain to do it." Jesse shook Derek's hand.

"How's married life treating you son?"

"Keeps me on my toes that's for sure."

"Come on in. Jackie's just finishing up. How was the ride up?"

"Beckum wanted to find his own way. He's still a little mad at me for not taking out for those few weeks."

"Your doctor say it was okay to ride?"

"Yes daddy." Jackie came into the room. "Hi mom." She came and hugged her daughter.

"You look wonderful baby." Jackie smiled. "How are you feeling?"

"Good. Really good. Starving."

"Well then lets get you fed." Jess and Derek had a wonderful afternoon with her parents. Derek was glad she could spend some time with them before they headed east. It was starting to get and they knew they better head out. Mounting their horse the headed down the mountain. The sun was nearly set when they got to the barn. Cody was there feeding Libby and her foal with Ava.

"Auntie Jess." The girl ran and jumped into her aunt's arms. The girls eyes widened when she saw Derek. She pushed off her aunt into Derek's arms.

"We'll we see where I rate." Jess laughed as Ava started telling Derek about her day. Jess unsaddled her horse. "You not taking to me Cody?" He looked at her.

"Why? Did you do something that would warrant me to give you the silent treatment?"

"Not in the last few hours." She started rubbing Beckum down.

"Then I guess your okay then huh?"

"Cody, what's wrong?"

"Nothing." She stopped and looked at him.

"You know that's not going to fly with me."

"Really Jess, nothings wrong." He looked at her. "I'm just messing with you." He smiled. "Your going to miss me, admit it." She smiled.

"Not that much." She looked at Derek holding Ava and listening to her every word. "He's so good with her."

"Yeah, you got lucky sis. He's one of the good guys." Jess smiled.

"Yes he is." She put Beckum in his stall and started working on putting Matt's horse up for the night.

"I can do that." Derek looked at his wife.

"You have your hands full. You take care of her, I got this." She took off Prince's saddle and hung in on Matt's hook. Cody watched her. Jess did everything with such grace lately. He wondered when she stopped being the awkward little girl he grew up with.

"Do you and Derek want to come over for dinner? Sarah made pot roast."

"I'm still stuffed from lunch with mom and dad. I have a ton of packing to do yet." She looked at him. "How about we stop by and say goodnight to the kids."

"They'd like that." He finished feeding Libby a carrot. "Come on squirt. Your mom's probably wondering where we are." Derek put down the little girl.

"You be good Ava."

"Will you bring me back presents?" She batted her eyelashes at her new uncle.

"Only if you mind your mom and dad while we're gone. And help take care of your brothers."

"I will. I promise." She hugged Derek one last time and stopped for a second to hug her aunt then headed off with her father.

"I think she likes you." Jess smiled.

"The feeling mutual." Derek pulled her close. "I got quite the package deal."

"No regrets?"

"None. How about you?"

"I haven't met your family yet." She smiled.

"You think that might change your mind?"

"No! Never." She kissed him. "Not even if they don't like me." Derek looked at her.

"How can they not love you?"

"This is true." Derek looked into her eyes.

"Jess my mom and sisters will love you because you love me just as much as they do. They will see that in your eyes the same way I do ever morning when I wake up." Jess looked out the barn door to the glowing lights of the station.

"They think I'm not coming back." Jess turned and rubbed Beckum's nose.

"Who, your brothers?" Derek leaned on the stall next to her. "Jess they know you better then anyone. What makes you think they don't think your coming back."

"Just the way they've been acting lately."

"What do they think? That you'll see the lights of the big city and you'll never want to leave?"

"I don't know. I just know that they're worried about something."

"We'll just show them won't we." Derek put his arm around her. "We'll come back a few days early." Jess smiled.

"You're going to look for a rubber room for me soon aren't you?"

"The minute we get back." He took her hand. "Let's get out of here and get packed before you decide you can't leave at all."

"Can I at least say good bye?"

"Of course. I'm not a monster Jess." They headed into the station. Matt was in his office. "You go. See how things worked out." She nodded and went into the office.

"Hey handsome." Matt looked up and smiled. Jess sat down across from her.

"I thought you'd be long gone back to the lodge."

"I wanted to say good bye so I don't have to get up too early in the morning. How did things go with Robin?"

"She's hanging in there. We talked a little. She knows that I'll be there if she needs help with a decision."

"Good. How are you?"

"Hanging in there."

"You know if you need to talk you can call me."

"I know." Jess smiled and stood up. "The same goes for you."

"We'll be waiting in the morning for you out front." Jess hugged her brother. "Take care of things here Matt. I don't want to come home to a mess I can't clean up." She looked at him. He nodded.

"I'll do my best. Did you see Cody out in the barn?"

"Yeah, we're going over there just before the kids go to bed."

"I think your going to miss those kids more then your going to miss your brothers." Jess smiled.

"Most likely." Jess hugged her brother one more time and went out into the lobby to say the rest of her good byes. By the time they left the station it was time to swing by Cody and Sarah's.

"Your not going to cry are you." Derek asked as they got into the jeep.

"A little maybe. Why?" He smiled.

"You don't want to scare the kids." Jess laughed.

"I'll try to contain myself." Sarah answered the door a few minutes later when Jess knocked.

"Hey, come on in. Cody's just getting Ava out of the tub." They came in and Sarah offered them a seat and a soda. Ava came running in wet hair flying.

"Derek!!!" Jess smiled as the little girl threw herself at him. Cody shook his head.

"The girls obsessed I swear." He sat across from his sister.

"I can't blame her." Jess smiled. "What am I Ava, chopped liver?"

"No your auntie Jess." They laughed. "Sorry." She climbed down off of Derek's lap and gave her aunt a hug.

"Much better." The little girl crawled back on Derek's lap. "Guess I have to take it where I can get it. Where are the boys?"

"I put them down somewhere around here?" Cody looked around. Jess raised her eyebrows.

"Note to selves. Cody does not babysit." Jess got up. "They better not be sleeping."

"No, but they are in their room." Jess got up and headed down the hall. Both boys were in one crib talking to each other. Jess looked down at them and smiled.

"Hey boys." Colton looked up at the sound of his aunts voice. He smiled. "At least someone is happy to see me." She picked up the boy and held him close. "I'm going to miss you handsome." She swayed with the baby for a few minutes humming and the boy was out like a light. "Good thing I don't have that affect on your uncle." Jess laid the boy in his crib. Dylan was watching her. She picked him up. It was amazing how they were starting to look so much like Cody did in his baby pictures. Cuddling him close she sat in the rocker in the corner. She didn't have any baby pictures so she wasn't sure what her baby might even look like.

"Your the only one who can get Colton to sleep in under five minutes." Cody whispered at the door way. Jess smiled. Dylan was nearly out.

"He's just board with me." Cody watched his sister rock his son. She was going to make a great mother. And if the way Derek handled Ave was and indication of what kind of dad he was going to be, his niece or nephew was going to have a hell of a tag team for parents.

"Your going to be really good at this you know that?"

"I hope so." She looked at him over Dylan's head. "I never was around babies much ever."

"And I was?"

"You learned from dad." Jess looked at the little boy in his arms. "We were lucky. I keep thinking about Jim and what his dad was like. No one should have to go though that Cody."

"I know." Jess stood and laid the baby in his crib.

"I told myself I wouldn't cry."

"They'll be here when you come home."

"I bet they'll have grown." Cody smiled. Jess covered Dylan.

"Not a whole lot in two weeks Jess." She walked to the door and hugged her brother.

"Do I have to be a grown up when I get back?"

"Yep." He hugged her close. "But now and then we'll let the inner child sneak out and find something to blow up." Jess laughed.

"Promise?"

"You bet." Jess thought she just might make it though the next two weeks.

*-*-**-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

The plane touched down at O'Hare at noon Chicago time. Jess waited at baggage claim while Derek picked up the rental car. Standing watching the luggage go around and around Jess wondered if she was going to make it though the day without making a complete fool out of herself. Grabbing Derek's bag off the carousel she looked for hers. It was going to be a long day. Fifteen minutes later her bag showed up and so did her husband.

"You read for this?" He looked at her.

"No. Maybe we could stop somewhere first. Like maybe Navy Pier and I can jump." He shook his head.

"Not the least bit funny wife." He kissed her. "My mother is not that scary. She doesn't even carry a gun like three fourths of your family."

"Point taken." They got into the rental car and headed toward Derek's childhood home. Jess watched quietly as the landscape went from big city skyline to suburban sprawl.

"Quiet with you isn't good Jess. I can't believe your nervous about meeting a little old lady and her daughters. You've been held at knife point for God sake." Jess laughed.

"Okay, you win Derek. I'll be okay. I'll meet your mom and sisters and they will love me from my first hello."

"Now that's the Jess Hawkes I married." He took her hand. "And if they don't like you I can loose you on the road trip back to California." He smiled.

"You forget, I have mad tracking skills." Derek pulled up in front of a blue two story clap board house.

"This is it."

"Please inform me of all exits and escape routes."

"Oh one thing. I didn't tell them your pregnant. The less drama the better." Jess looked at him.

"And in July when they start counting back?"

"No worries then." He kissed her hand. "I'll tell her tomorrow after all the aunts and uncles have gone back to where they came from."

"You not scared of your mother Ranger Morgan?"

"Me, naw...my aunt Stella I'm afraid of." He got out of the car and went around to open the door. "Just be yourself Jess and she can't help but like you." She got out and stood at the curb and looked at the house Derek grew up in. It was neat and tidy and well maintained. Just like his childhood. Nothing was messed up. He had one mother and one father and sisters that were truly his.

"Is it too late to change my mind about marring you?" She looked at him.

"Way too late." He smiled. "I'm glad your keeping your sense of humor about this." They walked up the perfectly kept sidewalk. Jess took a deep breath. She never once cared what anyone thought of her or her ideas. Until today. If this woman hated her it could change her whole life. The door opened. Jess had seen pictures of Derek's mother but they didn't do her justice. She was tall and thin and beautiful in a dark haired Jane Mansfield way. "Mom!" Derek took the woman in his arms and held her close.

"Derek baby, welcome home." She pushed away from him. "You look good. Married life suits you." He smiled. "This must be Jess." She pushed passed him and hugged Jess. "Your just as beautiful as my son said you were."

"Thank you Mrs. Morgan."

"Mary, please. Mrs. Morgan was my mother in law and she was not a nice woman." She took Jess's hand and lead her into the house. Derek looked at his wife. He mouthed 'see'. Jess smiled. "How was your flight?"

"Good. No delays."

"How was the weather?"

"Snow here and there." They went into warm kitchen filled with the smells that reminded her of her mother.

"It smells wonderful in here."

"I've been cooking since this morning. The girls and their families are coming for dinner around six."

"I talked to Lizzie last night. Micheal's going to get to come home for a few weeks?"

"Yes and he'll be here tonight. That boy had to go and re up for the third time."

"He loves his country ma."

"So do you but you found something here and safe to prove that." Derek shook his head.

"Apparently you forgot about that scare I have on my thigh from a bullet. An American bullet. Things are rough all over." Mary looked at her son.

"You always have to be the cynical one don't you." Derek shook his head.

"Not anymore, I usually leave that up to the little woman these days." He laughed and looked at Jess. "Some days she could make a unicorn frown." Mary looked at her new daughter in law.

"I don't believe she has s cynical bone in her body." Jess smiled.

"Derek is right. You see the sunshine and I see the cold front a hundred miles away. I like to think I see the both sides of any argument but it doesn't always work out that way." Mary sat at the table.

"Sit. You both look like you haven't slept much." Derek tried to hide his smile. "I'll get you some coffee." Derek held his moms hand.

"Sit mom. I can get it." Derek stood. "Do you want some?"

"No. I've had enough to last me till next week." Derek poured himself a cup of coffee and got Jess a glass of orange juice. "So Jess Derek tells me your whole family is in law enforcement."

"Yes. My father started the Rangers when he got back from Vietnam. My oldest brother Matt has been taking care of things since the late eighties. Both me and my other brother joined him later."

"You lived in DC for awhile?"

"Two years. I got a little lonely for my family so I moved back. My brother's gave me a job." Derek put the juice in front of Jess and sat down across from his mother.

"You're close to your family?"

"A little too close if you ask some people." Mary looked at her new daughter in law,

"There is no such thing as too close to your family Jess." Jess smiled.

"My birth parents died when I was twelve. Jesse and Jackie Hawkes are my god parents. They adopted me." Mary took her hand. "I spent so many summers before that with them that I felt like they were my parents from the time I was five."

"And they thought of you as their's" Jess nodded. "You two should get freshened up before the company arrives. I made up the spare room." Derek looked at his mother.

"I told you Ma, we got a room at the Beaumont. I didn't want to put Dana and the boys out." He looked at his mother. "I really don't think spending my honeymoon in the bed I grew up in is as hot as it might sound." Jess blushed and Mary swatted her son.

"You are too much like your father Derek Morgan. Go get checked in and come back. Don't take all night." Derek smiled.

"Don't wait for us to start." His mother glared at him.

"You will be on time Derek or I will pull out the baby pictures you think you hid from me." Derek stood and kissed his mom.

"I promise we'll be on time." He took Jess's hand and pulled her out of the chair and helped put her coat on. "See you in a couple of hours mom." Mary looked at her son.

"Take three. Be here by six or I'm sending your father's crony's after you." Derek kissed his mother and pushed Jess out of the house.

"And to think I was worried." Derek opened the car door. He turned her and kissed her.

"See. I told you." Jess put her arms around his neck. "You did good Jesse Lynn."

"I love you." He kissed her and held her close.

"Not as much as I love you baby." He helped her into the car and they headed to the only peace and quiet they would get for a very long time.


	6. Chapter 6

To Have And To Hold

Chapter Six

Jess stood in front of the mirror. The black pantsuit was the closet thing to dressy she owned. It had been a long time since she done anything with her hair other then put it in a pony tail. It was going to be a long night.

"You, dear wife, are one hot mama." Derek stood behind her. She looked at him though the mirror.

"You have to say that because you married me." He put his hands on his shoulder.

"I thought that from the day I met you. Are you ready to go?"

"I think so." Jess grabbed her coat and Derek helped her put it on.

"Let's get this over with so we can come back here and get back to our honeymoon." Jess smiled.

"What am I going to do with you?" He grabbed her hand and they headed out the door.

"I'll have to show you when we get back." They went to the elevator and Derek took Jess in his arms and kissed her. "I may have to show you a few times till you get it right." Laughing they got into the elevator.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

The dinner went well. Jess met so many people she wasn't sure she would know who they were if she met them again. She met Derek's three sisters, two brother in laws, four nieces and two nephews, six uncles, eight aunts and several family friends. Going into the kitchen to get a drink of water was the first peace and quiet she had in almost six hours. She found a glass and went to the sink.

"We scare you away yet?" Morgan's sister Lizzie came in with some dish's. Jess smiled.

"Not yet but I haven't left yet." Lizzie laughed.

"Most people don't get us all at once but the family was curious to say the least. They all wanted to meet the woman who took little brother off the market." Jess took a drink of her water.

"Do you need some help with the dish's?"

"Mom would kill me if she saw I let you lift a finger. You made quite an impression on her tonight Jess." Jess looked at Derek's youngest sister. She was dancer petite and beautiful.

"I didn't do anything special. I'm not usually good with crowds."

"You did good. Now they don't have to wonder why Derek left his dream job for the mountains." Jess looked down. That was the third time in as many days Jess heard that. Setting her glass down, she took her jacket from the hook.

"Tell Derek I went for a walk." She headed out the door with a startled Lizzie staring after her.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Jess had know the cemetery wasn't that far from Derek's mom's. She had googled the address before she left and called the grounds keeper. The small grounds were well kept and in neat rows. It wasn't hard for Jess to find what she was looking for. She knelt down and cleared the snow off the head stones. Aubry and James Hawkes died when she was eight. They had spent the three summers before they had died with their son in California. The first summers Jess had spent with them. They treated her like a granddaughter even though they didn't have to. Wrapping her arms around her self she stood back and closed her eyes.

"You shouldn't be out here alone." Jess opened her eyes to see a man standing a few feet away.

"I'm fine thank you." The man took a step closer.

"She's not alone." Derek's voice echoed behind her. She felt his arms around her and fought the urge to push them off.

"Good. No one should be alone out here." The man backed away.

"Are you crazy?" He turned Jess around. "What the hell were you thinking going off in the middle of the night alone?"

"I needed some air. I started walking and I ended up here." She motioned to her grandparents grave.

"This isn't the mountain's Jess. You can't trust people." Jess looked at him.

"I lived in the city Derek. I know how to take care of myself." She turned away and looked down at her grandparents head stone. "They died within a week of each other. Dad said he couldn't live without her."

"I know the feeling." He stood next to her. "You went for a glass of water and when I went to look for your Lizzie said you took off."

"I just needed some air."

"What's wrong Jess?"

"You gave up your dream job for me."

"It was never my dream Jess. I told you that. It was my father's. He never wanted me to be a beat cop all my life like he was. He wanted more." He looked at the grave stone. "I am more then he ever thought possible."

"And you gave it up."

"I gave up nothing that I wasn't getting back ten fold Jess. I had a job I liked and friends who I could count on. I still have those friends. Plus I have a beautiful wife, a baby on the way, a job I'm going to love and new friends that have my back even when they weren't my friends yet. I can honestly say that I traded up." Jess turned and looked at him.

"Lizzie said your family was wondering what kind of woman would make you quit your dream job and move to the mountain's."

"And they are so impressed by you that if I didn't quit my job and go after you they would be calling me all kinds of a fool. Jess we've had this discussion more times then I want to count and it's getting old baby. I love you and nothing would of stopped me from making you my wife. Your job, my job or the whole damn mountain falling down around us. Don't you get it yet Jess. No job was worth loosing the one thing in the world that made me whole. You make me the person I want to be." Derek turned and took her face in his hands. "If you ever scare me like that again I will take you over my knee and..." Jess leaned up and kissed him.

"I know. I love you too Derek." She put her arm around them and they started walking back to his mothers to get the car and go back to the hotel to show each other what they really meant to each other for the fourth time today.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Matt laid in bed thinking that he should get up and do something productive. Robin had come by at dinner time and eaten with him and the others and then headed back to the hospital. He hadn't gotten back from working an accident till after two so he decided to call it a night in the bunk house instead of making his way to Robin's. Maybe he would of slept if he had gone to her house.

"Matt?" Cody's voice broke the silence.

"Yeah?"

"We have a plane down near Mount Price." Matt closed his eyes.

"What time is it?"

"Almost five. The sun is up in an hour and a half. You want me to call in the troops?"

"Yeah, I'll be down in ten."

"Something wrong?"

"No, just a long night." Matt got up. Cody was still standing at the door. "I'm fine Toad."

"Okay. But if you need to talk to me you know where I am."

"Yeah. Call in everybody. This could take all day."

"You got it." Cody turned and went down the steps. Matt's cell phone rang. "Hawkes."

"The place still standing?" Jess's voice was soft and horse.

"Last time I checked. How were the in laws?"

"They liked me believe it or not."

"I didn't have a doubt."

"Thank you for not doubting me."

"We have a call. Downed plane near Mount Price."

"Check around Mosquito Pass. The wind sheers this time of year are wicked. And stay off the lakes. This time of year if it hasn't been below freezing for weeks they're soft."

"Who's in charge?" Jess laughed.

"I know but I like to think you like to here me tell you things you taught me."

"Where's your husband?"

"Running. I keep telling him that if your not being chased it takes all the fun out of it." Matt laughed.

"We'll you go start the shower and I'm sure he'll be there before the water runs cold."

"Be careful. Keep an eye on Cody. He gets reckless when he doesn't have me riding his ass."

"I'll keep an eye on him. You have a great second wedding."

"I will. Talk soon."

"Yeah." Matt hung up and finished getting dressed. It was going to be a long two weeks till Jess came back.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

"What's wrong?" Derek whispered in her ear. It was late and the guests were thinning out. She looked at her cell phone sitting on the table.

"Nothing." She smiled. Derek's sisters had planned the perfect vow renewal service and blessing. Jess was quite impressed they kept it small and intimate. "Your mom get home okay?"

"Yeah. Dana and the boys took her home."

"I think this was a good idea. Instead of making everyone travel."

"I think so too. I made reservations at Georgia Brown's for Friday."

"They have the best Sunday brunch. So then just dinner with your DC friends?"

"Yeah, they're a easy bunch to please." Some of Derek's family stopped by to say goodbye. It was eleven thirty on New Years Eve and only a hand full of people were left in the ball room Derek's sisters had rented. "We have to stay but baby there's someplace I would rather be." He kissed her.

"It would be really rude to leave now." She ran her hand up his leg.

"Baby, your playing with fire." She smiled. Derek's sister Becca came to the table.

"I'm kicking the rest of the crew down to the bar. You two are free to go." She smiled. "Derek I must say your taste in woman has really improved."

"Thanks brat." Jess slid out of the booth Derek followed and he helped her with her jacket.

"It was a beautiful ceremony Becca." She hugged her new sister in law. "You did great."

"Thank you." Derek hugged his sister.

"We'll see you before we leave on Friday."

"You better." She left them and Derek and Jess headed down the street to their hotel. The evening was crisp but it was a pleasant walk.

"I thought maybe we would tell my family about the baby tomorrow at brunch. It's only going to be my sisters and their families and my mom."

"Sounds like a plan." Jess sounded distant. Derek stopped.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Jess baby your head's been someplace else for the last few hours." She looked up.

"Bad wife, I know."

"Call him."

"Who?"

"Matt." He stopped. "You've been itching to all evening." She looked at him and looked at the time on her phone. Leaning over she kissed him.

"There's time." Grabbing his hand she pulled him toward the hotel.

"You insane you know that Hawkes."

"You married me, what does that make you?" She walked into the hotel lobby and to the elevators. Pressing the button and she turned around and put her arms around his neck. "I love you more then anything in this world Derek Morgan." She kissed him like she was desperate to prove what she had just told him.

"Jess..." He broke the kiss. "Hey, are you okay." She smiled.

"Never better." The doors opened and Jess pulled him into the elevator. "Happy New Year Derek." They almost didn't make it to their room to finish celebrating.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Derek wasn't in the mood to run this morning. He smiled. Jess was rubbing off on him. He looked at the clock. It was six. Picking up his phone he dialed it. It was only four in California but he knew someone would answer.

"Ranger station, Cody Hawkes speaking, how may I help you?"

"Happy New Year."

"Is it? I lost track of time fifteen hours ago. How was wedding number two?"

"Much more refined being all city folk." Cody laughed.

"Your getting as warped as your wife you know that."

"Yeah well she's addictive that's for sure."

"Over sharing my friend. Tell Jess she was right about the plane going down by Mosquito Pass."

"See I knew she was fretting about something."

"Matt talked to her before we left yesterday morning."

"Well I'm glad everyone came back in one piece."

"Well...."

"Cody?"

"Flynn broke through some ice but he's fine. A little wet and cold but he'll make it." Derek closed his eyes.

"Your trying to get your self punched aren't you?"

"Your both two thousand miles away."

"I'm sure she'll save up." Derek looked at his wife sleeping next to him.

"Just don't tell her and she won't hit me." Derek chuckled.

"I'll try but you know how she can be. I better let you go. Tell everyone hello for us."

"I will do that. Take care of her Derek."

"I will. Talk soon." Derek hung up. Jess was still asleep and he still didn't feel like taking a run. Rolling over he pulled her close and held her. Tuesday night when she had walked out it had scared him to death. A million things went thought his head. If he had not found her in the cemetery when he did he was afraid of what might of happened. He knew the man wouldn't of laid a hand on her because she would have had him in the snow bank before he knew what hit him. She was thinking to hard about what his job had meant to him. Jess started to stretch. Leaning back she felt him behind her.

"You loose your running shoes?" He pulled her close to him and kissed her neck.

"I didn't want to leave you." Jess smiled.

"I knew I could turn you over to the dark side. We have cookies." He smiled.

"I love you Jess."

"I love you too." She turned over. "You okay?"

"Yeah. I talked to Cody. They found the plane near Mosquito Pass like you thought."

"Everyone okay?"

"Flynn got a little wet." Derek slid his hand down to her belly. "How's my girls this morning?" Jess put her hand over his.

"Good." She ran her hand up his arm. "We're really, really good." Derek reached behind him and pulled something out of the drawer.

"I told your mom I would give this to you last night but I got a little distracted." He handed her a box.

"What is it?"

"Open it." Jess sat up. She unwrapped the box. Slowly pulling the tissue back. It was a photo album.

"Derek?" She looked at him.

"I heard you say once you didn't have any baby pictures. I talked to your mom and these are the ones she had." Jess opened the cover. There was a picture of Jess and the Hawkes on her Christening day.

"I never saw these before."

"Your mom had them put away and nearly forgot about them till I asked about them." She ran her finger over the baby in the picture.

"That's me."

"Yeah." She turned the page. There was one of Cody holding her and Matt sitting next to them.

"I never..." Tears welled up in her eyes.

"You were three months old. There's a few from that time. One with you and your dad." Jess turned the page to see her asleep on Jesse's chest. Then one with Jackie in the old rocker that they still had in the spare room.

"Thank you Derek." The tears rolled down her cheeks. "The next page was a Christmas she didn't remember but she was in a pile of paper with Cody. She had to be about two or three. Then one more with the five of them when she was four. She was on a sled. Jess remembered that one. It was the last Christmas her parent visited Jesse and Jackie. The next pictures were of Derek at about the same age. Jess smiled. "You were a beautiful baby." Derek looked at her.

"So were you." The last picture was of a little dark haired girl with beautiful brown eyes. Jess looked at Derek. "Cody had some software and Garcia tweaked it a little. This is what our baby pictures combined look like."

"Our little girl?" Jess looked down at the picture.

"Yeah." Tears poured down Jess's cheeks.

"She's beautiful."

"Yeah. She gets that from you." Jess looked at the picture. "Are you okay?"

"It just seems to get more real everyday."

"You were hoping it wasn't?" Jess shook her head.

"There was a time for about five minutes I wanted it to be a dream." She looked at him. "But then I realized that God doesn't make mistakes and she was meant to be in our lives."

"I like the sound of that." Derek took the book from Jess and set it on the table.

"Are you sure you don't need to take your run?" Derek pulled her down and under him and shook his head.

"I'll get my cardio right here if you don't mind." He kissed her and any thoughts of Derek running slipped out of both of their minds.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Brunch was a noisy affair and Jess fit right in. Derek watched as she argued some kind of point with his brother in law Mike, the Marine. Knowing both her brother and father were once Marines made the discussion that more heated. Mary leaned over and took her sons hand.

"You did well with that one. Mike might loose a debate after ten years on top." Derek smiled. "So, are you going to tell me or do I have to guess what's going though that devious mind of yours?"

"Mom nothing is going though my some what twisted yet brilliant mind."

"How about how your going to tell me that pretty young wife of yours is having your child." Derek looked at his mother. "What? You think I don't know my own son? You got her juice instead of coffee. You stand so close to her most times that I think your protecting the president and she didn't drink at any toast made at the wedding."

"You lived too long with a paranoid man."

"Are you saying it's not true?"

"No, I'm saying pop made you look at everyone like a suspect."

"Like you don't." Mary hugged her son. "You are going to make a wonderful father Derek." Jess came to them and Derek pulled her close.

"Mom thinks it's time we made our announcement." Jess looked at Mary.

"Congratulation Jess." Mary hugged her.

"Thank you Mary."

"You ready for this." Jess smiled.

"How bad can it be?" Derek stood up. He whistled with his fingers so loud it put Cutler to shame.

"Can I have everyone's attention." Derek's three sisters, two brother in laws and all the kids turned to look at him. "I just wanted to tell you all thank you for everything you did yesterday. It was beautiful. Jess and I have something we wanted to tell you but we wanted just the immediate family with us. We're going to have a baby." It was quiet for a full minute before good wishes start flowing. Derek put his hand on Jess's waist. He smiled. He hated when his mother was right.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

The plane landed at Reagan National Airport thirty minutes late. Jess was ready for a shower and a nap. Derek took her hand as they exited the plane. The walked though the busy airport. Jess had forgotten how much she hated the county's capital. That was probably not the American thing to do but right now she just wanted a quiet room and a cold soda.

"You okay?" Derek stopped at luggage claim.

"Yeah. Is Spencer picking us up?"

"Yeah. He should be waiting here somewhere." Derek grabbed their bags. "Jess are you okay?"

"Just tired." Derek carried both their bags and lead Jess down the isle to where he said he'd meet Spencer. The younger man was standing with Garcia near the exit.

"Hey," Derek set down the bags and hugged Gracia. "Baby girl I missed you." Jess smiled. "Reid." Derek shook his hand.

"Jess." Garcia hugged her. They had never officially met but they had talked on the phone a million times.

"It's so good to finally meet you Penelope." They all started walking toward the car. The banter and talk continued till Spencer pulled up in front of Derek's condo. Jess and Derek got out.

"Dinner at eight you two. Don't be late." Derek looked at his friends.

"Says the man on his honeymoon." Derek shut the door and headed up the walk with Jess. She looked at the well kept walk way.

"Are you sure you want to leave this?" Derek took out his keys.

"I'm going to have to. It sold while I was in California." He opened the door. Dropping the bags he picked Jess up.

"Hey, you'll hurt yourself." Derek smiled.

"I thought because our house won't be done till spring carrying you over the threshold might be in order." He kicked the bags in the door and carried Jess inside. She laughed.

"Your insane Derek. I swear." He carried her up the steps into his room. Tossing her on the bed he landed next to her. Jess stretched. "Defiantly keeping the bed. Definitely." Derek kissed her.

"Take a long nap Jess. I have a few phone calls to make." Jess kissed him.

"Can't they wait." She smiled.

"You are insatiable Mrs. Morgan."

"You've created a monster Mr. Morgan." She looked at him. "Your family didn't give you a hard time because I'm not changing my name did they?"

"They know that the Hawkes name means a lot to you and that your earned it." Derek ran his hand down her cheek. This week end you have to decide what we take with us and what we get rid of."

"Derek these are your things. You should make those decisions."

"Most of the furniture won't make it in a log cabin."

"I didn't see the living room but this bedroom could make it anywhere." Pulling on his t-shirt she took him over her. "Shall we see if your bed can take it." Jess smiled.

"I can make phone calls anytime." He leaned over and kissed his wife. It was a long time before Derek made any phone calls.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Cody looked at his watch. It was only four o'clock but he felt like he'd been behind his desk for hours. He slid the file that he was looking at over and leaned back. Jess had been gone four days and in that time Flynn broke though the ice, three snowmobiles broke down and Cutler's truck exploded. Cody shook his head. The rest of the week wasn't looking any better. Robin was due to pull the plug on her brother in the morning. Matt was a wreck and Ava and the boys all had colds. Sarah was hanging on by a thread with him working twelve hour shifts and his parents didn't make it off the mountain before the storm hit yesterday morning so they were stuck there till he could get up sometimes tomorrow. The phone rang. Cody closed his eyes. If it was a call so help him he would toss it all out the window and quit.

"Cody, dude it's Jess on line three." Flynn looked at his boss.

"You didn't tell her anything did you?"

"She asked how I was feeling. I told her. That's it. I swear." Cody picked up the phone.

"I find out you told her anything else man you are so fired." He pressed line three.

"Jess, how's DC?"

"Good. I know why I left but it's not to bad this time of year. How's things?"

"The kids have a cold but other then that everyone's great. Mom and dad got stuck up at the cabin because we got a call and didn't make it there before the storm started. They didn't seem to mind."

"I miss the kids. I miss you and Matt. Hell I even miss Cutler. What's wrong with me Cody?"

"Your the psych major who's married to the profiler. You tell me."

"I hate you sometimes."

"You hate me when I'm right. So the big BAU dinner is tonight?"

"Yeah. Me with a room full of FBI profilers. Not scary at all."

"They like you Jess. They like you a lot. There is nothing with that bunch you have to worry about. Even Aaron Hotchner likes you and rumor has it he doesn't like many people."

"I know. I better get dressed if I'm going to be ready in time. I hate being a girl sometimes."

"You'd make a fugly man Jess."

"I love you too." Jess hung up and she swore she heard her brother laughing.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-**--*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Jess sat in the corner of the trendy DC restaurant. They had dinner and now everyone was getting caught up on the weddings and all things Derek and Jess. Pictures were circulating the table but they had seen most of them via Cody sending them to Garcia. The only new ones were the ones taken in Chicago.

"How's your dad Jess." David Rossi sat next to her on her left.

"Stuck up at the cabin. Cody said they missed the window to pick them up on Thursday so they have to wait till tomorrow to go up and get them."

"Does that happen a lot?" Emily Prentiss asked.

"This time of year the weather is unpredictable. Cody's usually on top the weather thing but they got a call and missed the chance to pick them up. Dad usually takes the horses or snowmobiles up but Cody didn't want them leaving if the weather did get bad."

"I don't know if I could live that way." Spencer added.

"You get used to it. You all got to see the start of winter in the mountain's. It only gets more beautiful."

"I can only imagine." Aaron added. "I here the skiing is great."

"Best anywhere. I won't be doing much of that till next winter." Derek laughed.

"Our kid will be born knowing how to ski."

"And to over analyze everything." Spencer added and they all laughed. It was getting late and they were the last ones left at the restaurant.

"It looks like we are going to get kicked out." Derek looked at the look the waitress was giving them.

"I'll head to the ladies room a sooth her with a big tip." Jess smiled and got up. The other ladies at the table did the same.

"I knew they went it pairs but that's just wrong." Derek smiled. The men laughed. Jess stopped and talked to the waitress and put something in her hand. The next thing they knew two bottles of champaign was at the table with glasses.

"Morgan that woman is a keeper." David said as the waitress poured the champaign. Derek watched Jess head to the ladies room.

"Your not the first one to tell me that."

"Something tell me you knew that from that first day at the Ranger station."

"You mean the day I got chased by a bear, almost blown up, repelled down a sheer cliff and got kissed by the most amazing woman God ever created?"

"Yeah, I mean that day." The woman all came back and sat down. David raised his glass. "To love at first bear chase." They all laughed and raised their glasses. Jess sipped her ginger ale and smiled. She hoped these people would stay friends no matter how far they traveled. They were all good people and you could always use good people in your life.


	7. Chapter 7

To Have And To Hold

Chapter Seven

Saturday dawned bright and sunny and Cody headed up to the cabin before any more bad weather hit the mountains. Getting his parents safely home was the one thing he needed to do today. Once that was done the rest of the world could go on it's marry way. Cody did his preflight check and started the engine. Cutler came and got into the the passengers seat.

"What Matt doesn't trust me alone?" Cutler didn't say anything. His sunglasses shaded his eyes.

"Jess called you this morning didn't she?" He still didn't say a word. "Jim don't make me kick your ass at seven thirty in the morning."

"Yes, Jess called me. She asked me to watch your six."

"I hate when she puts her two cents in. The woman is two thousand miles away Cutler."

"The woman loves you jackass. She wants you safe."

"And she thinks sending you up with me will keep me safe?"

"I've been doing for most of your life Cody, one more time either way won't make a difference. Did you not get your coffee this morning?"

"Maybe that's it. I forgot to drink the brown sludge that Cooper likes to pass for coffee."

"Matt wants us and your parents at the hospital the minute we come off the mountain. He wants us there for Robin." Cody looked at Cutler.

"So that's why your being such a pain in the ass."

"Cody, I'm always a pain in the ass. Today I thought I would try not being one for a change." Cody smiled.

"That would be a nice change of pace Jimmy." Cody lifted off the helepad and flew west toward his parents cabin.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

"Jess, we have to get this stuff packed before the movers get here on Monday." Derek looked at his wife. She was sitting in the middle of the bed with just his t-shirt on.

"They pack for you Derek. I know this much from when _I _moved. Two big strong men pack everything up and all I did was sit back and watch."

"I would like to have my clothes come with us in the truck." Jess smiled.

"You could go naked. I wouldn't mind." Derek laughed.

"Your brother's might. Now come on. Do something constructive woman." And she did. She slid Derek's t-shirt off and threw it in the suitcase at the end of the bed.

"All packed." Derek shook his head. His wife sat naked in the middle of his king size bed.

"Nothing will get done if you keep this up Jess."

"Oh something will get done." Derek went over to the side of the bed. Leaning over he kissed her.

"One time Jess and we have to get something done or the moving truck leaves on Monday without you." Derek kissed her and the packing was forgotten for a very long time.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Cody landed at the Ranger helicopter pad just before noon. His parents safely off the mountain he breathed a sigh of relief. He shut down the engine.

"I'll go warm up the Avalanche." Cody looked at him. "It's brand new how can I blow it up?" Cody shook his head. "You blow up one twenty five year old truck and the whole world things you did it on purpose."

"Jess told you to get the oil changed before she left."

"Yeah, and you know I'll never hear the end of it." Cutler walked over to the parking lot.

"How is you sister?" Cody turned and looked at his dad.

"Better then I thought she would be. Still she calls at least once a day. Not always me but Matt or Cutler. "

"Does she sound happy?" His mother asked.

"Yeah. Really happy. I choose not to tell her about Danial. I'll take the heat when she gets back but I couldn't let her cut her trip short because of it."

"Your right. As much as we all care for Robin, Jess needs this. Everyone on board with keeping it from her?"

"Yeah. I talked to Robin too. She would rather Jess not know now either." They got out of the helicopter and headed to the truck. "Her other brothers wouldn't come here. They want her to send the body to them."

"Hows she holding up."

"If it wasn't for Matt she would of gone under a long time ago." They got into the truck. "Shep has been there night and day all week trying everything he can. Robin's other brothers never remembered Terry White ever coming to the inn but they were connected somehow."

"We may never know." They pulled into the hospital. Jesse and Jackie got out and Jim and Cody followed. Cody looked at his parents. It was going to be a really long day for all of them.

--*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Jess played with the food in front of her. She had really wanted the Chinese an hour ago when they ordered it. Derek watched her.

"You okay?" She looked up.

"Yeah. Just tired." Derek laughed.

"Are you sure that's all?"

"Yeah. A good nights sleep is all I need." She smiled.

"Are you going to sleep?"

"I think I might just have to. I don't think I could do anything else." Derek looked at her. She was pale and there were dark circles under her eyes. He finished eating and stored the uneaten food in the fridge and threw away containers.

"Come on." Derek took Jess's hand. He lead her upstairs and pulled back the covers. She crawled in. He crawled in after her.

"Derek it's six o'clock. You don't have to come to bed." He kissed her cheek.

"There is no place I would rather be on a Saturday night then right here with you."

"Thank you." Jess closed her eyes and fell fast asleep.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Cody stood in the ICU and watched his brother and Robin standing at Daniel's bed side. This wasn't how he planed on spending his Saturday off. Robin had changed her mind about pulling the plug. He didn't blame her. If he had to make the choice for Matt or Jess he couldn't do it. He would have to live with it for the rest of his life. Cutler came up to him.

"She's not going to get over this ever."

"I know. I was just thinking the same thing. If it was my family in there I couldn't do it either." Cutler looked at Cody.

"You'd make the right choice. You always do."

"Why does it always have to be me who makes the right choice?"

"Because your the one who would rather make it then leave it up to the hard head and the bleeding heart." Cody knew if it came down to their parents and the three of them would have to decide it would be him casting the tie breaker. Cody shook his head. Why the hell was he thinking about life and death like it didn't matter that much. It meant everything.

"I need some air." Cody zipped his jacket and headed downstairs. Jesse came up to Cutler.

"Where's he going."

"He's feeling the pressure."

"I never knew how much Jess carried on her shoulders."

"It's amazing how much she does that we don't even know about."

"Keep an eye on that one. I'll deal with this one." Cutler looked at Jesse.

"Your getting the better deal." He turned and followed Cody downstairs.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Jess rolled over. Something was wrong. She reached for Derek but he wasn't there. Sitting up she looked around the room. It was darker then she remembered. Her head was pounding and her stomach was rolling.

"Derek?"

"The lights went out. Apparently we didn't hear about the big storm coming our way." He came to the bed with his flashlight and some candles. "Are you okay?" She got up and ran to the bathroom and thew up what little she had of her dinner. Derek reached into the drawer and got her a rubber band for her hair and went to hand it to her. She put up her hair and smiled.

"What did I ever do without you?"

"You didn't have morning sickness." He looked at her.

"My head is pounding. I don't think this is morning sickness."

"Food poisoning?"

"Could be. I barley ate the Chinese."

"What else did you eat today?"

"Toast, juice..." She stopped and threw up again. "ice cream and...oh crap. The sandwich for lunch had mayo on it."

"That could be it." Jess shook her head.

"Oh dear God this is so worse then morning sickness." Derek went to the bed and picked up his cell phone and dialed the one person who could tell him what he needed to do.

"Hello."

"Sarah, it's Derek."

"Hi, hows the honeymoon going?"

"Jess things she has food poisoning."

"Oh thats not good."

"I really needed you to sound more optimistic."

"The hospital is your best bet."

"You know that little storm you got on Thursday?"

"Yes."

"It's here now in all it's glory. I can get her there but that much time in the car would only make her sicker."

"Do you have Gatorade?"

"Yeah."

"When she's done throwing up make sure she can keep that down and you should be okay."

"What about her headache? Can she take anything for that?"

"A couple to Tylenol won't hurt."

"Thanks Sarah."

"Call if you need anything." Sarah hung up just as Cody was coming in the back door. "Hey handsome." She looked at him. "Hard day at the office?"

"No more then usually." Cody kissed his wife. "Kids asleep?"

"Yeah. They couldn't keep their eyes open." She pulled out a plate from the fridge. "You eat today?"

"I think I might have had some thing Cutler threw at me. That man is acting strange lately. Bringing me coffee and food."

"He worries about you." Sarah put the plate in the microwave. "Derek just called."

"Something wrong?"

"Jess has food poisoning." Cody flinched as he took a beer out of the fridge.

"The girl does not do sick."

"Apparently a storm is hitting the east coast hard and he's not sure with her throwing up he could get her to the hospital."

"Is it bad in her condition."

"It could be but I told him to keep her hydrated and call if she got worse." Cody sat down at the counter.

"She can't catch a break lately." Sarah looked at her husband.

"It'll balance out. It always does." Taking the plate out of the microwave she set it in front of Cody and got a fork. "How's Matt?"

"Tired. I pulled Tim and Izzy in and told him not to bother going in tonight."

"Think he'll listen?"

"Dad and mom were with him when I left. I don't envy Robin for having to make the decision to pull the plug on her brother. I could never do it Sarah."

"Well let's hope you never have to." She sat next to him. "You my dear sweet husband need to get some rest."

"I think I just might agree with you." Taking a few bite of his dinner he pushed his plate away.

"Cody you need to eat. You're going to get sick and you'll do absolutely no good to anyone."

"I know, I just need a shower and our bed right now." Sarah wrapped the plate back up.

"Go. I'll clean up in here and meet you in bed in fifteen minutes." She leaned in and kissed him.

"Don't make me come looking for you." Cody headed to the shower.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Jess lay curled up in the big king size bed. After throwing up for what seemed like hours she finally was able to hold down some Gatorade and take something for her head. Derek spent the whole night taking care of her. Now he was passed out next to her exhausted. She looked at the clock. It was almost five in the morning. Or at least she thought it was the morning. Turning over she laid her head on Derek's chest.

"How's the stomach?"

"Better."

"Good." He pulled her close. "No more corner deli for you."

"Promise." Jess smiled.

"Promise. You need some more to drink?"

"No, I'm thinking four bottles is plenty."

"I hope so. Who knows when this crap will clear up."

"Should asked to talk to Cody when you called Sarah. He could of told you."

"Yeah well I was worried about you not the weather."

"I like the sound of that. The hell with the weather." Jess snuggled closer to her husband. Closing her eyes she drifted off to sleep without another thought of the weather.

*--*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Cody woke up in a foul mood and it didn't look like it was going to get any better. There was a storm front moving in fast and if it hit like they were predicting, it would make all the other storms they saw this season look like dusting's. Jess was two thousand miles away and he wasn't comfortable with that. Bad things followed big storms. Cutler came in.

"What now!" He looked up from the weather reports.

"Jess on line two. Drop the attitude Hawkes or people are going to start walking." He turned and slammed the door behind him. Cody shook his head and picked up the phone.

"Hey baby sister. Feeling better?"

"A little. How are you?"

"Good."

"Matt?"

"Him and Robin are hanging in there."

"The weather's clearing up here. The mover's are coming on Monday so we'll be leaving then." Cody looked at the screen in front of him.

"You sure you don't want to hire someone to drive Derek's car and take a fight home?"

"How bad does it look?"

"Makes all the others look like spring."

"When?"

"Friday, early Saturday."

"No worries. We'll be home by Wednesday."

"I forgot your drive like you fly. By the seat of your pants. Please keep it under eighty. I only have so many connections in so many states."

"I'll remember that."

"Be careful Jess, please."

"I will be. I have a lot more to be careful for these days."

"You mean living for me and the job wasn't reason enough." Jess laughed.

"You know what? It is, but now we both have so much more." She hung up before she broke down.

Cody hung up the phone and sat back and stared at it. Jess was two thousand miles away and Matt might as well be just as far gone with the way things were working out today. Cutler opened the door again.

"Your dad line one, Ron Hatcher line two."

"Are you trying to kill me?"

"Not today. Maybe tomorrow." He left shutting the door behind him. Ron Hatcher was the owner of three ski hills around Lake Tahoe. He had grown up with Matt and thought the Rangers owed him something. Cody picked up the phone.

"Cody Hawkes."

"Hey Cody, hows things with you?"

"Just peachy Ron. What can I do for you?"

"I was wondering when your going to clear that run near Gardner?"

"Not our call. Talk to the DEA. Last I heard they were heading the investigation into Coral Ridge."

"Come on Cody I know you can talk to them. I'm loosing money hand over fist."

"Not my problem Ron."

"Let me talk to Matt."

"He's out. I'm sorry your run is out of commission Ron, I really am. I got bigger problems here but as soon as I can I will look into your status with the DEA. Have a great day Ron." Cody hung up the line and pressed line one. "Morning Dad."

"You kept me waiting."

"Sorry, I'm popular this morning. How's Matt?"

"He took Robin home this morning. I told him you could hold down the fort."

"Thanks. You explain to my kids why daddy's not home to tuck them in again tonight."

"Cody..."

"I'm sorry dad, I didn't mean to be an ass."

"Yes you did. I raised you better then that son."

"I know. Have you talked to Jess?"

"Not in a couple of days."

"She got food poisoning."

"Lovely."

"They're leaving tomorrow. I told them they needed to get home by Friday. We have a cold front from Canada coming in and bringing a ton of wet snow."

"Other then your attitude, how are you holding up?"

"Good. Hart's coming in at six for a few hours so I can get some sleep."

"If you need anything you can call me."

"Go to my house and spend some time with your grandkids."

"When this is over Cody you need to take some time."

"Yeah, I think its time. I'm sorry about before dad. Matt needs to be with Robin."

"Yeah. I wish it was under better circumstances. Your sister will be home in a few days and everything will be back to the way it should be." Cody closed his eyes.

"I hope so. I need this winter to be over."

"If this is the worse we have to bare son, we can make it."

"Yeah. Sorry I missed church this morning."

"Jonah knows you have a lot on your shoulders son. We'll over whelm him next Sunday by all of us being there." Cody laughed.

"Thanks for calling dad, it really made my day a lot better."

"Glad I could help son." Cody hung up. Taking a deep breath he dug back into the weather reports that he needed to get filed before tomorrow.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

After a shower Jess felt more human then she had in a few days. Derek was in the kitchen packing dish's when she walked in. She sat quietly on the bar stool and watched him. As long as she lived she would always wonder on what such a magnificent man saw in plain Jess Hawkes.

"You going to sit there all night and watch me or are you going to help." He turned around and smiled at her. It nearly took her breath away.

"Watching you seems like the right choice right now." He came around the counter and brushed the strand of hair that found it's way out from behind her ear.

"You look like your feeling better."

"Much. I think it might of just been a bug. Between the weddings and the planes I was around a lot of crap the last few days. Where do you want me to start?" Derek leaned over and kissed her.

"You sit. I'm almost done here."

"Do you really use all this stuff?" She looked at the small appliances pots, pans, and dishes.

"Yeah."

"I don't think I even own a toaster." Derek laughed.

"I see a lot of cooking in my future."

"My mom's been trying to teach me since I was eight. I think I have a pizza oven somewhere. Matt gave it to me when I moved here so I wouldn't starve. I told him as long as I had a phone I wouldn't let something like that happen." Derek went back to packing. "So when the time comes you can talk to the architect and builder about things like...you know the thing you cook on and stuff." She smiled.

"Okay. I'll order the stove."

"That's what it's called? I would of never thought of that." She smiled. "I do know how to load the dishwasher."

"Good." Jess jumped off the stool and went to the fringe for some water.

"How come you have no food in your cupboards? What do you cook?"

"I traveled so much I only bought for a meal when I had time to cook it. Or I had a special occasion to." Jess turned and watched him again.

"Like when you brought a date home?" He looked at her.

"You really want to go there Hawkes?" He smiled.

"You know all about my disastrous love life." She sat back on the bar stool. "Your's was much more illustrious I'm sure." He shook his head.

"Maybe back in high school I dated more then my fair share of women but this job was my life for the past few years. I mean I won't lie, I wasn't celibate. " Derek looked at her. "You talked to my sisters. I'm sure they gave you the low down. They like to do that."

"They said their were a few they wished you married?" Jess smiled.

"Which ones were those?"

"You really don't want to talk about this do you?" Leaning against the counter he looked at her.

"Well it's not like you can change your mind about marring me." Jess smiled.

"That bad?"

"Jess, I guess I never really thought about it. I never had a Cutler in my life." Jess laughed.

"And this is a bad thing?"

"No, I guess not. But you had a connection to him. As warped as it was it was still a connection. I never had that till you." He looked down at the floor. "I don't think I ever loved anyone till I loved you Jess." He looked at her.

"Your going to make me cry you know that?"

"Ice cream makes you cry Jess." She took his hand and pulled him into her arms.

"But it's damn good ice cream." Hugging him close she thanked God for bringing her the most wonderful man he ever created.


	8. Chapter 8

To Have And To Hold

Chapter Eight

It was nearly three on Monday when Jess and Derek got on the road. Jess loved the drive home when she quit the Secret Service. Cody wanted to fly out and drive home with her but she needed the time to forget the things she saw while there. She learned a lot about herself back then.

"You okay?" Derek pulled onto the highway.

"Yeah. I was just thinking. Remembering."

"Good things?"

"Mostly. I did a lot of soul searching my last trip home from here. I realized I couldn't run from the way Hale felt about me. That the Rangers were my home. With Jesse, Jackie and the boys."

"It took you that long to figure that out?"

"Yeah. I was scared and alone out here. Matt tried to tell me I could come home whenever I wanted but I was so mad at him for...not talking Cody out of joining the Marines. I never thought he meant it."

"You know differently now, right?"

"Yeah. It took eight years and falling in love to figure out he had my back just like Cody always did."

"I'm glad." Jess leaned back and watched the winter landscape. "You drove home from here by yourself?"

"Cody wanted to come but I wanted to be alone. Clear my head. I think we might of killed each other in the mood I was in back then. Then when I got home and Matt road my ass." Derek laughed.

"He was doing it for your own good."

"I know that now. Back then I had a real big chip on my shoulder. I did everything to piss him off."

"It all worked out."

"Yeah, it did."

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Cody kissed his daughter good-bye as he grabbed his jacket.

"You be good for mommy. Help her with your brothers."

"I will. Whens auntie Jess and Uncle Derek coming home?"

"They should be home by Thursday."

"I miss you tucking me in." Cody bent down and looked into Ava's big brown eyes.

"I miss it too. As soon as Jess gets back everything will be back to normal."

"With Uncle Matt and Robin too?" Cody hugged her.

"I hope so baby. I'll come kiss you good morning when I get home." He hugged his daughter one more time and left his house hoping he hadn't lied to her when he said things would get back to normal when Jess and Derek got home.

*-*-**-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Matt sat at his desk and cleaned up some paper work. He hadn't slept a whole lot since the whole thing with Robin's brother had started. He knew he looked like crap and he felt even worse. Cutler was here twenty four seven and Cody here sixteen hours a day. They all needed rest. Hopefully Jess and Derek would be well rested when they got back. Jess would have to take a shift or two the minute she pulled into the drive way.

"Matt." Cutler came to the door.

"Yeah,"

"Jess on line four."

"Thanks." He picked up the phone. "Hey, please tell me your almost home." Jess laughed.

"We're nearly to Ohio, if that helps."

"Not really. We miss you Jess."

"See I knew you couldn't live without me."

"You wouldn't of heard if from me unless you were on your way home."

"Things piling up?"

"You wouldn't believe."

"I'll be home soon."

"Good." Jess hung up. Cutler came to the door.

"Matt..." He looked up. Cutler didn't look happy.

"What is it?"

"Flynn and Avila went to drop off some supplies for Gabe." Matt looked at his friend. He didn't have to ask why he was being told. The look on Cutlers face said it all.

"They bringing him down?"

"Yeah. I called your dad. He and Cody are meeting here." Matt shook his head.

"I knew it was coming, but damn why now?" He stood and went to the window that faced the mountain.

"He's was old Matt."

"I know."

"Your dad said every thing's taken care of. He'll handle the services."

"Thanks Cutler. I'll come out when Frank lands."

"You got it." Cutler left. Matt looked at the phone. Another thing Jess would have come home to. Gabe was like a grandfather to her growing up. Matt let out a deep breath. This was going to be a long winter.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Cody, Matt, Jesse and Cutler stood back and let the helicopter land. Jesse knew this day was coming for a long time. He and Jackie had stopped by to see Gabe the day after they went to the cabin. He had looked good.

"The funeral home is running behind. They said they would be here in about a half hour." Cody put his hand on his father's shoulder. "We can do this dad."

"We all have to do this." Frank landed and started shutting down the chopper. "Have you talked to your sister?"

"I just did." Matt looked at his father. "She was almost to Ohio. She knew something was wrong."

"She always does." The four men walked to the heli pad and took Gabe off the mountain for the first time in nearly forty years.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Cody sat on the chair across from the fire place. He had just put wood on it and it was burning warmer then he liked but he knew if he didn't load it up it would go out before morning. Cutler came down and sat on the couch.

"Go get some sleep."

"Your the one working every run. I think you need the sleep more then me."

"Don't make me pull rank on you Cody." Cody looked at the older man.

"What if I trade places with you and lay on the couch and shut my eyes for an hour? Would that make you happy?"

"It would take a hell of a lot more then you sacked out on the couch to make me happy right now but it's a start." Cutler stood up. "I'll get a pillow and a blanket." He went to the closet and pulled out a pillow and blanket out and threw them to Cody who had moved to the couch. "I'll have coffee waiting in a couple of hours.

"Thanks Jim." Cody was out before his head hit the pillow.

"Not a problem my friend."

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Jess sat at a table in a truck stop on the Ohio turnpike. Derek had gone to the bathroom. She sipped her soda. It was nearly midnight and Jess just wanted to crawl into bed. Her phone rang. She dug it out of her pocket.

"Hello."

"Hey, I know it's late."

"It's okay Matt. You know you can call anytime."

"Where are you?"

"Ohio. Where are you?"

"The hospital."

"Any change?"

"No. She's just waiting. I think she wants you here."

"I'll be there as soon as I can. We're going to stop at the state line and sleep for a few hours."

"You sleep?" Derek sat down across from her.

"We'll when you have a hot husband like I do, sleep is the last thing on your mind."

"Over sharing again Jess. Take you time. I would rather see you safe then take the medivac helicopter home again."

"My driving has improved since I was twenty. Cutler made sure of that."

"Please be careful Jess. I don't need to be worrying about you too."

"But you do it anyway."

"That's what big brother's do."

"And I have two of the best. What aren't you telling me Matt?"

"Nothing. I just called to say good night and drive safe."

"You a lousy lier Matthew Hawkes. I'll be home in two days. I love you."

"Yeah, I love you too. Be safe." He hung up. Jess set her phone on the table.

"Everything okay?" Derek watched his wife.

"If the sound of his voice was any indication I think he's hiding a whole lot."

"I can leave the blazer in Chicago and have my sister's find a driver." Jess shook her head.

"I can live without the High Mountain drama for a few more days." The waitress came. She took their order and left. "They're going to play tag team all the way. I'm sure Cody will call before we hit Iowa." The waitress brought their soda's.

"I'll put odds on Illinois. You want to stop for the night?" Jess smiled.

"I could of stopped four hours ago."

"You should of said something."

"I'm kidding. Going to sleep on a full stomach isn't a good thing I hear." Derek leaned over and took Jess's hand.

"Who said we were going to sleep." Jess raised her eyebrows.

"I think I've created a monster." Derek laughed.

"Oh baby don't you know it."

"Maybe we need to take our order to go." Derek motioned to the waitress.

"I think I can handle that." The waitress came to the table. "Could you make our order to go. We should get back on the road."

"Yes sir." She went back to the kitchen.

"I think that girl is sweet on you." Derek looked at his wife.

"She's gotta see I only have eyes for my wife." Jess smiled.

"Your wife must be one lucky lady."

"I think she knows I'm the lucky one." The waitress set a bag and the bill down. Derek took out his wallet and handed the woman more then enough money and stood up. Jess grabbed the bag and they headed to the closet motel they could find.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Cody sat up with a start. It was still dark and the fire had just been stoked. He smelled fresh coffee. Closing his eyes and laying back down he took a deep breath. He had been dreaming. Something about fishing and Gabe. Taking his phone off the coffee table, he checked the time. Four thirty. He never slept past five most days but today he felt like he could stay in bed for a week. Cutler came and set a steaming cup of coffee in front of him.

"Take your time getting up. The nights been quiet. Not even the rabbit that eats all your mom's vegetables has poked his head out."

"He probably knows I'll shoot him if he does." Cody sat up and took his coffee. "Thanks."

"Tim and Benji will be here at six. Matt said he'd be here as soon as Robin leaves for the hospital. Why don't you go home." Cody took a sip of his coffee.

"You know me. Do or die. I'll be fine."

"Cody you've been living on coffee and hour naps for the last week."

"And you've been eating Wheaties and getting your eight hours?"

"Kiss my ass. Now get out of here before I get Izzy and Flynn to throw your ass out." Cody stood up and picked up his cell phone. He wasn't in the mood to fight with Cutler. Grabbing his jacket off the hook he headed out the door. Getting into his truck he sat and took a long look at the station. It had been his life since he could remember. The life he wanted since he was a kid. The life Matt wanted and Jess too. It was a legacy they were proud to be part of. Dialing the phone he knew he'd catch hell for calling so early but he just had to know everything was alright.

"Thanks a lot Cody, I lost." Jess answered.

"Lost what?"

"Nothing. We're just outside of Chicago. We're having breakfast with Derek's mom and then were off again."

"You sound pretty chipper for someone who's been on the road most of the night."

"I do don't I."

"I'm on my way home. Cutler kicked me out."

"The man finally pulled rank on you?"

"I guess you could call it that." Cody laughed. "Call next time you stop for more then an hour. Ava misses both of you."

"We miss her and the boys too. And Sarah of course."

"And I'm chopped liver?"

"Pretty much when I find out what you and Matt are hiding from me."

"Jess..."

"Talk to you soon. Get your stories straight. I'll be home tomorrow night." She hung up. Derek looked at her.

"You were kind of rude Jess."

"Well maybe they need me to be rude now and then instead of so damn accommodating." Jess leaned back and watched the sunrise over the city. Maybe she wouldn't be the nice girl anymore. Doing whatever she could to make everyone else's life easier.

"That's not who you are baby."

"I know. Do you think we can make it to Cheyenne tonight?"

"As long as when we get there you sleep." Jess smiled.

"For twelve hours. I promise. That will bring us...within a thousand miles from home. We could be there by Wednesday night."

"Are you sure you want to get back so soon." He looked at her.

"I want to know what the three stooges are hiding from me."

"Jess whatever it is they're doing it for you."

"I know." They pulled in front of Derek's mom's.

"It's all going to be okay Jess." He leaned over and kissed her. "Let's eat. The hamburgers got cold last night."

"It wasn't my fault."

"No, getting naked before I got the door all the way closed was your fault woman." He got out and went around to open her door. "And you better behave in front of my mom."

"Or what."

"Jesse Hawkes will see his baby girl in a whole new light." Jess smiled and kissed him.

"Promise I will try to keep my hands to myself in the presents of parent like people." Derek laughed and led her up his mothers walk.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Matt sat at his desk. Benji had cooked dinner and he was really to tired to eat but he knew he should head to the kitchen and eat to boost moral. The calls started early and they lasted well into the afternoon. A lost snowmobiler, drunk hunters, misguided fishermen. They had it all today and now the sun was setting and things looked like they might be quieting down. Turning off his computer he grabbed the half dozen coffee cups he had started but never finished into the kitchen.

"Hey boss." Benji set a plate down for Matt and sat down across from Izzy. "Busy day today."

"Yeah. And it's only Tuesday."

"Well it's one day closer to Friday."

"One day closer to the ski lifts being full of idiots from the city."

"Someone's got to make us earn our paychecks I guess." Izzy said. The phone rang. Matt stopped Cutler before he got up.

"I got it. You guys eat." He went to the closet phone and picked it up.

"Ranger station. Matt Hawkes."

"I bet you look like hell?"

"You'd win. Hey baby sister. What's up?"

"I just called the Ava to say good night." Matt looked at his watch. It was later then he thought.

"And you called me because?"

"I'm worried about you."

"I'm fine."

"I don't believe you. I can call mom."

"You think she doesn't have my back?"

"Matt please take care of yourself. It's one thing to joke about not getting along without me but damn it if I get home and all hell's broken loose Matt, I don't know if I'm going be able to deal."

"Where's Derek?" Matt took the phone and headed to his office.

"He went to get something to eat."

"Where are you?"

"Matt, I'm fine. We're in Cheyenne. I just...you know that feeling I get."

"Jess...yes there's some things that have come up and I would rather have you here to tell you just because I want to know your okay with it. Over the phone you can tell me it's all good but there's no way of me knowing for sure. I promise it's not going to kill you to wait a couple of days."

"I might kill you." Matt laughed.

"We found Terry White's body up on the ridge near the cabin. He had Daniel's blood on him, the blood of the woman from the hotel and the rifle that killed that fisherman a couple of weeks back. Daniel may never come out of his coma and Robin decided to take him off life support but changed her mind because she wasn't ready to say goodbye. Now you you know what I know."

"Terry White is dead?"

"Yeah."

"Thank you."

"I didn't kill him." Jess laughed.

"For being the bigger brother and telling me. I know Cody tries to protect me but he can't always do that."

"I know. I'm sorry I kept it from you but we wanted you to enjoy your time away and not worry about what's going on her. It isn't fair that we lay this crap on you now."

"It's okay. I am enjoying my time. I'm enjoying getting to know my husband but believe it or not I miss the High Mountain drama just a little bit." Matt laughed. "Derek's pulling in. I'll call in the morning when we start. We're sleeping in."

"Okay, you deserve it. It's only Tuesday and your half way home."

"See Cutler did show me something useful."

"Avoiding capture in a moving vehicle isn't a skill I would brag about." Jess laughed.

"Get some sleep Matt. I'll see you tomorrow." She hung up just as Derek was coming in the door.

"How's things on the home front."

"Could be better." Jess sat at the table and Derek handed her a salad.

"Something wrong?"

"A guy I knew in high school was found by the cabin. They think he had something to do with Daniel."

"Was this guy a friend?"

"Far from it. I dated him when I was fifteen. He was seventeen. I was friends with his sister and he asked me out. Dad didn't want me to go out with anyone but Terry could charm the pants off anyone. Even Jesse Hawkes."

"I take it he wasn't as charming as he lead your father to believe?" He sat across from her.

"Not even close. We went out one night and he got a little more...friendly they I thought my father would like. I was nice the first time his hand went to my thigh but the second time I walked away. He came after me. I ran into Izzy half way home. And Terry stopped chasing me. The next day at school we fought and he slapped me." Jess looked at her salad. "I broke his nose but Cody saw. He doesn't know I know but he beat the crap out of him. Terry threw the first punch and broke his hand on the bleachers. Cody broke his ribs and ran him out of town."

"Now he's dead?"

"Seems he had Danial and the woman's blood on him. Plus the rifle that killed that hunter last week."

"So I'm guessing his disposition didn't get any better."

"Apparently not." Jess looked at Derek. "I'm beat." She pushed her salad away. "I'm going to take a shower and get some sleep." Derek smiled.

"To think I finally wore you out."

"Not a chance. I just need a nap." She leaned over and kissed him. "You could shower with me."

"We'd never get any sleep that way."

"Sooner or later we will." Derek pushed away his plate and followed his wife.


	9. Chapter 9

To Have And To Hold

Chapter Nine

Derek woke up to the smell of fresh coffee. He didn't remember what time they finally went to bed but he knew it was way to early to walk up. Rolling over he felt for Jess but she was gone. The woman didn't sleep. He knew that when they were looking for the killer on the mountain she had barely slept but now she should over it an at least sleeping more then two hours a night. Derek opened his eyes. The room wasn't dark but it wasn't filled with light either.

"It's six thirty." Jess said from the chair across the room.

"What are you doing way over there?"

"Smelling your coffee." Derek sat up. She walked over to the bed. She was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. "You can sleep if you like. I have an errand I have to run in a half hour."

"What could you possibly have to do at seven am in Cheyenne, Wyoming." Kissing him.

"I got to see a man about a horse."

"A horse?"

"We'll four horses actually."

"Four horses?"

"I bought one for Dylan and Ava before we knew about Colton. So their Christmas presents became our trip presents."

"Didn't we buy them teddy bears with Washington DC t-shirts on?"

"And one's with Chicago t-shirts on."

"Where do the horses come in?"

"Like I said I ordered one for the two kids before I knew there was three. So instead of having them brought to California I said we'd swing by and pick them up. Then you can pick out one for yourself."

"A horse." Jess frowned.

"Are you feeling okay. Your stuck on the horse thing."

"Give me the coffee." Jess handed him the cup. "You never mentioned that you needed to pick up horses."

"Surprise."

"Jess..."

"What? You don't like horses?"

"You know I do."

"Dad got Cody's and my first horse from this guy. Cooper and Stella were the best horses. Cooper died when Cody was in the Marines and Stella soon after. I called Henry to order the colts for the kids he said he had some from Cooper's blood line. You also need a horse for work."

"Okay. Now that I'm caught up I'll get dressed and come with you." Jess leaned over and kissed him again.

"Good. Have I told you how much I love you Derek Morgan?"

"Not since three forty-five."

"Has it been that long?"

"Baby your the one making seven am appointments." Jess ran her finger down his chest.

"It's only fifteen minutes away." Kissing her again he pushed her over.

"I've seen the way you drive Miss Daisy and think we have...plenty of time." Derek unsnapped her Jeans and they forgot about horses for a little while.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Matt cleaned out the stalls one by one, shifting the horses from dirty to clean stall. He couldn't sleep so he thought he'd get a head start on making room for the new horses Jess was bringing home. Laughing to himself he wondered what Derek would think of the extra passengers on the way home.

"What the hell do you think your doing?" Matt looked up to see Cody in the door way.

"Cleaning stalls. It is my day."

"It's five thirty in the friggen' morning."

"You point being?"

"Your suppose to be in bed with a hot blond." Matt stopped raking hay.

"What about you?"

"My boss is making me work." Matt shook his head.

"Jess is picking up Derek's horse today before they head home. I thought I'd get a head start. I couldn't sleep and Robin went to the hospital after dinner and decided to stay. Tell your boss to stop being such a prick." Cody laughed.

"If he wasn't so damn good at his job, I just might."

"Thanks...I think." Cody grabbed a rake. "You don't have to do that."

"The faster we get this done the faster you can get to the real work around here." Matt laughed and went back to work.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Jess pulled into the Rolling Cross Roads ranch at seven fifteen. The snow was starting to fall and the ranch was busy preparing for the coming storm.

"This place is huge." Derek looked around.

"This is only the stables." Jess pulled next to a pick up. "You should see the the barns with the cattle in them." Shutting off the truck she got out and Derek followed. An old man was waiting at the door.

"You made me wait Jess." Jess smiled.

"Sorry Henry. I got held up. This is my husband Derek." The old man looked at him.

"'Bout time you settle down girl." He turned back into the barn. "I got your horses ready. Picked a few to look at for the new man." Jess and Derek followed him. "The stallions and the mare are direct blood lines from Cody's Cooper." The two stallions were in a coral in the back of the barn. "The black one is Coal the brown one Cinder." Jess went to the edge of the coral and they both came to her. Henry handed her two carrots. "They're spoiled rotten."

"They're beautiful."

"Yes, they are." The old man looked at Jess. "The mare is Bella." He pointed to the next stall. "I think she'll be perfect for Ava." Jess smiled.

"I trust you."

"What's the new man looking for?"

"Something with training wheels." Derek said.

"Well you picked the wrong job then. The wrong wife for that matter." Henry laughed. He whistled and a gray stallion came to the edge of the pen. "This my boy is a horse bread for the mountain. He's sturdy as they come." Derek went and stroked the horse.

"What's his name?"

"Thunder." Jess smiled and Derek shook his head.

"We'll take him." How could they not?

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Cutler looked at the sun setting. Today had been a good day. It had been quiet. Matt got a chance to rest and he hopped Cody had too. He called Sarah a few hours ago and told her to let Cody sleep. If he needed him he would call. Frank went out on a few routine checks but other then that the mountain was a peace. Jess would be home late tonight and the Hawkes could have peace too. Izzy came into the kitchen.

"It never gets old does it?" Cutler turned around.

"No. Still quiet?"

"Yeah. It's weird."

"I thought the same thing but don't look a gift horse in the mouth."

"I'm with you there. Matt say when Jess was getting back?"

"Sometime tonight. They were picking up Derek's horse in Cheyenne and heading home."

"Too bad we didn't know what time they left, we could make bets on how long it takes Jess to make the fifteen hour trip." Cutler laughed.

"Pulling a horse trailer she better not be pushing it. I taught her her to drive but not drive reckless."

"I've ridden with her. If you didn't teach her the reckless part was bread into her." Cutler laughed.

"It's a Hawkes thing. 'If it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger'." Cutler filled his coffee cup and sat at the table across from Izzy.

"I bet your going to sleep for a week starting tomorrow."

"At least eight hours in a row."

"You did good keeping things together."

"Thanks. I really didn't think it was going to get this bad. I didn't realize how much that little snot did around here." Izzy laughed.

"Amazing isn't it?"

"Yeah. If Cody calls, I'm not here." Cutler took his coffee and went into the lobby.

"You got it."

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Jess pulled into the back lot of the Ranger station close to three o'clock Wednesday morning. Derek had fallen asleep at the Nevada line and Jess had done some creative driving. Backing up to the barn she shut off the engine and closed her eyes. She wanted to sleep for a week.

"Are we there yet?" Derek whispered in the dark.

"Yeah. We made it."

"It's quiet. The mountain didn't fall down did it?"

"Nope. Let's unload these horses and find a big bed and not leave it till our vacation is over."

"In like three hours. You know the minute they know we're here they're going to need you."

"We'll hide really well." Jess leaned over and kissed him. Turning she got out of the truck to find Cody in front of her. She screamed. "Damn it Cody make some noise." She hugged him tightly.

"You were a little busy. I would of though all this time alone you'd get over that PDA stuff."

"Not on your life." Cody looked at the horse trailer.

"This doesn't look like a one horse rig baby sister."

"Well that's because when auntie Jess and uncle Derek say they're going to bring back presents they go big." Cody shook his head.

"You did not buy my kids horses Jess." He looked at her. "You did, didn't you?"

"They were suppose to be for Christmas but Colton was surprise so I waited till Henry had something worth driving to Wyoming for." Derek came around the front of the truck.

"Can I say I had no idea what she had up her sleeve?"

"Thanks for having my back husband." Jess laughed.

"They better be damn good horses Jess to risk me and Derek being mad at you." They went to the back and opened the doors of the trailer. Jess went in and took out Bella. The painted mare sniffed the air and whinnied softly. "It's okay girl your home now." The horse looked at Jess then Cody. "She's Coopers granddaughter." Cody looked at the horse.

"Not bad." He smiled. Derek took the reigns from Jess and lead the horse into the barn. The black stallion was next.

"Coal. He's mellow like Colton. Cinder is feisty."

"Like Dylan. Jess this is too much." She looked over the horse at her brother.

"Nothing but the best for your kids." Derek took Coal and Cody brought Cinder. Jess went into the trailer and lead out Thunder. "You my friend better be good." She scratched behind his ears. Jess swore he was smiling. Cody came out.

"And who is this bad boy?"

"Cody, meet Derek's new best friend. Thunder." Cody looked at his sister.

"You couldn't even make that up." Jess shook her head.

"Nope." Cody laughed as Derek came out of the barn.

"She told you?" Cody looked at his brother in law.

"You just can't shake it can you?" Derek shook his head.

"I'm never going to hear the end of it either am I?"

"Not from me." They brought the last horse in and shut the barn doors. Derek closed up the trailer and grabbed their overnight bags.

"Matt at Robin's?"

"No. It was slow all night so Cutler let him sleep. I just got here myself. You want something to eat? I'm sure there's something in the fridge." Jess shook her head.

"I'm afraid of what's in there after a week of me being gone. Jen and her family get off okay?"

"Yeah. She left some papers for you."

"Is she selling?"

"I think so. The envelope is sealed so I don't know for sure. It's on your desk."

"I have a desk now?"

"Yes and a big comfy chair that Matt and I are going to glue you to till you give birth." Jess smiled. She pinched her brothers cheeks.

"I get all warm inside when you tell me you care in so many different ways." She looked at him. "What couldn't you tell me on the phone?"

"Jess..." Cody heard footsteps behind him and Matt and their father were walking up the path.

"This can't be good." Matt hugged his sister.

"It's good to see you Jess." Jesse hugged her.

"I missed you sweetheart." Jess wasn't going to cry.

"Okay now that your all here what the hell are you keeping from me." Derek looked at the three Hawkes men. Jesse took his daughters hands in his.

"Frank and Tim went up to check on Gabe on Monday. He's gone Jess." Jess looked at her father. The two men had been friends for longer then she had been alive. Gabe had saved her father more then once in a half a dozen ways.

"How are you doing?" Jess asked.

"I'm okay." Jess was going to cry. She wasn't that strong anymore. When the tears started there was no turning back. Jesse held her as she grieved for the man who had made her years on the mountain just as special as the Hawkes had. "You need some sleep sweetie. Why don't you let Derek take you home and we'll pick this up in the morning." Jess nodded. "We missed you Jess." She smiled.

"Not as much as I missed you guys." Derek grabbed their bags in one hand and his wife in the other.

"We'll see you in the morning." Derek lead his wife down that path that lead to Matt's. Cody watched them.

"You think she'll be okay?" He looked at his father.

"With that man standing beside her son, I can't see her being anything else but okay." Jesse looked at his oldest son.

"You both look like crap." Matt shook his head.

"So much for father of the year." He said and turned back to the station. "Who's up for some coffee and some poker." Jesse shook his head but followed the boys into the building.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Jess slept. It had been a long time since she had slept more then a few hours here and there. Derek set their bags down and Jess slipped out of her jeans and under the covers and she was gone. He had laid down next to her and was out to. Now he was up and full of energy. Grabbing his running shoes he quietly slipped out of the bedroom.

"It's too late to run. She knows where you like to hide." Derek looked up. Matt was on the couch. He laughed.

"I promise I'll come back."

"Jess still sleeping?"

"Yeah. This is the most sleep she's gotten in a stretch in a long time." Derek slid on his jacket. "You going to work?"

"Not till noon. Cutler told me to take care of you guys."

"The boy taking his rank and privilege to a new high is he?" Matt laughed.

"He really stepped up this last week or so. He's always been a great ranger. It was taking responsibility for the little things that tripped him up."

"Good for him." Derek sat on the chair to put on his shoes. "Maybe you and Cody can take some time off that doesn't involve a hospital stay."

"Cody starts this week end. You and I have a training exercise outside Tahoe on Saturday."

"Should I be scared?"

"Yeah, you just better." Matt stood up and went to get another cup of coffee. Derek noticed he limped sightly.

"The knee giving you trouble?" Matt turned and looked at his brother in law.

"Shep told me I'm getting to old to ski down mountains and climbing trees to get ski divers out of them."

"Yeah well what does Shep know. He spent his informative years skiing down the same mountain."

"I'll tell him you said that." Derek stood up.

"Please don't. Make sure you ten feet away with that coffee when Jess wakes up. Some mornings I think she'll take me down just for a sip." Matt laughed.

"Thanks for the warning." Derek left and Matt sat on the couch almost wishing Jess would wake up. It had been a long time since they had a good long talk. He closed his eyes and leaned back. He needed to tell her a lot of things starting with Daniel's condition. Hearing the bedroom door open he put his coffee cup on the table next to him.

"He tell you to hide that from me?" Jess came out of her room wrapped in a blanket. She settled herself at the end of the couch.

"He told me you might have issues."

"I'm getting better."

"Can I get you some juice?"

"No, I'm good. How are you?"

"Better now that I've caught up on my sleep."

"Robin?"

"She's okay. They said whenever she's ready she can take him off life support." Jess looked at her brother. There was a storm brewing behind his kind eyes. He was being pulled in every direction with all that had been going on the last few months.

"How are things between you two."

"She lets me in every now and then."

"I wish I could say it'll get better but I can't even say that with ever thing that's been going on."

"I didn't expect it to be so messed up."

"Any more leads on how Terry and Daniel were connected?"

"No. Maybe when you get back you can look the stuff over. A fresh pair of eyes always helps."

"Terry was a bastard. But to do this. He must of gotten seriously messed up along the way."

"He lost his wife to cancer but other then that he was a good soldier for over eight years. Once he left here he got his crap together."

"What if he was gay?"

"Robin finds that unacceptable." Jess looked at her brother.

"But is it possible?"

"You know Daniel as well as I do. You tell me."

"Maybe this is something Derek should look into."

"Monday's soon enough."

"You don't put off things."

"I need you and Derek a hundred percent. This winter has kicked our ass's. Jim isn't up to a full blown rescue. I'm taking Derek up Saturday and give him some quick on the job training."

"What are you going to do throw him off the mountain?" Matt laughed.

"Just ski down. Cody said by afternoon the snow should stop but the powder should be perfect." Jess smiled.

"You just want an excuse to ski." Getting up she went to the kitchen and got a glass of juice. Coming back, she sat back down and took a drink. "Are you really okay Matt?"

"Now that you're back. I really underestimated your hand in the daily stuff Jess and I'm so sorry."

"No need to apologizes. I just expect a raise on my next pay check."

"I'm still taking the cost of two four wheelers out of your pay check." Jess laughed.

"Sooner or later they're going to get paid off." Matt looked at his coffee cup.

"Things are going get rough around here Jess. With Robin out for who knows how long and the DEA coming down hard on Coral Ridge when it starts to warm up. I need to know you can handle the load at the office. I know you can handle the mountain. Hell you handle the mountain better then me. You get restless and I understand." He looked at her. "You have a lot riding on staying safe for the next seven months."

"Do I have to swear on a stack of bibles that I will not leave my desk for any reason unless my life is in danger?"

"I just want you to know your limitations and realize that there is a whole lot of people counting on you to stay safe now and after this baby is born Jess. I know your life is going to change but it really is for the better." Jess looked at her brother. She knew he was right but giving up the rush was going to be harder then giving up the caffeine. But she would find a way. Even if it killed her.


	10. Chapter 10

To Have And To Hold

Chapter Ten

It was Saturday and Jess sat at her desk typing paper work over that Matt had some how filled out wrong. Both her brothers were in serious need of a spell check. The bell above the door rang and Jess turned to greet whoever was walking in. She froze. The tall man at the door looked around. Today was not going to be a good day if she had to deal with this before nine a.m.

"Can I help you?" The man chuckled.

"Maybe you can and maybe, just maybe you can make my day." Jess glared at the man.

"Not on your best day Cole." Cole Kitrick was the CHP's eqivilent to a Texas Ranger. He had brass balls and frozen piece of meat where his heart used to be. If he ever had one.

"Your brother in?"

"On a training exercise."

"They leave you in charge?" Jess took a deep breath.

"No, Cutler is." Cole shook his head.

"Must be hard up for real men around this place." Jess almost went across the counter. Putting her hand on the gun on her waist she smiled.

"Can I take a message Detective Kitrick?"

"Lieutenant Kitrick to you. I'm in town to wrap up some old business with the Coral Ridge paperwork. I need to see some of your reports."

"They're all filed with the state and the DEA."

"I'm not asking you where they're filed Ranger Hawkes. I'm asking for your copies."

"Then show me your warrant."

"Jess don't make me call Sacramento and get the states attorney involved." Jess handed him the phone.

"Do it." If men threw a hissy fit it would be what Cole Kitrick did just then. He stomped his foot and turned on his heal and walked out the door slamming it behind him. Cutler came out of Matt's office.

"Who was that?" Cutler asked. Jess dialed the phone.

"Trouble with a capital T." She looked at Cutler. "Lacy Brigington please." She said into the phone. "Kitrick is here and his riding his high horse again." He shook his head. "Lacy, it's Jess Hawkes."

"Jess, it's been a long time."

"Yeah, Cole Kitrick was just in here. He wanted some reports from Coral Ridge. Do you know why he would be coming and getting them on a local level when he has federal jurisdiction to pull the reports?"

"He's been calling around. Seems someone who was associated with Coral Ridge says some of the reports the feds got were doctored or worse yet forged."

"Why is this the first I'm hearing of this Lacy?"

"No one could find anything to back it up. Kitrick is on a witch hunt Jess and the High Mountain Rangers are on the top of his list." Jess closed her eyes.

"Okay. Thanks and if you hear anything more please call me or Matt."

"I'll do my best to keep you in the loop Jess. They have no evidence at any level so just keep doing what your doing and when he comes back make sure his warrant has all the I's dotted and the t' s crossed."

"Thanks Lacy. Talk soon." Jess hung up.

"Lacy says Cole got some information that the Coral Ridge reports were doctored before we sent them to the DEA and the state's attorney."

"You have to be kidding. Those reports are so clean they squeak. You should just let him look."

"We do that it gives him free reign to go over every case we've closed. He could second guess any one of those reports and overturn convictions."

"Why would Cole want to do that?"

"Oh I can think of one good reason." She looked at Cutler.

"Matt."

"They have been in competition since they were in high school. First sports and girls now funding and recognition."

"Somebody needs to tell this prick we're on the same side." Jess sat down.

"He only has one side and it's his."

"Should we call Matt back?" Jess looked at him. "Sorry I forgot, I'm in charge."

"No, if he comes back with a warrant before Matt and Derek get back I'll be surprised. He knew Matt was gone. He thought he could push his way past me and convince you he had the right to be here."

"So do we just wait?"

"I guess. I filed those reports myself Cutler. Nothing could be questioned other then my brothers atrocious spelling." Cutler laughed.

"Why don't I buy you and orange juice and we can wait for the other shoe to drop." Jess stood up and followed Cutler into the kitchen. Jess looked out at the snow. Thursday's storm had dropped over fourteen inches of fresh snow in Lake Tahoe and the surrounding areas. Cutler handed her a glass of juice.

"Thanks."

"You look more worried then you should be Jess."

"Cole was a bastard when he was a teenager and an even bigger one when he was my boss."

"That's right he was heading up the Secret Service back then. "Maybe I should call Matt."

"They said they'd be back by noon." She looked at her watch. "It's almost nine thirty. It's your call Jimmy but I wouldn't bother him with this right now."

"Your right. I mean what's the worst that can happen?"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Cole Kitrick slammed the paper down on the desk in front of Jess. She looked up. No way had he gotten a federal warrant on a Saturday in less then three hours. Looking at the clock it was not even eleven o'clock yet.

"Jesse Lynn Hawkes you're under arrest." Jess laughed.

"You're so full of crap."

"Read the warrant smart ass." She picked it up. It did indeed have her name on it. She looked up to see the two California Highway Patrol deputies standing behind Cole. She knew them both and they weren't happy about this assignment, she could tell.

"Cutler!" She called him from the office. He walked out seeing the three men.

"Now should I call Matt?" Jess looked at him and rolled her eyes.

"Now would be a great time. Tell him to swing by the courthouse and bail me out of jail." She walked out from behind the desk.

"Jail?"

"Seems college boy here couldn't get a federal warrant for my files so he's playing on the local level." She grabbed her jacket and handed Cutler her gun. Cole looked at her with a hateful glare.

"Cuff her." He said to the officer closest to him. He shook his head.

"Lieutenant, she's one of us."

"I don't care cuff her." The man took his cuffs out of his belt and Jess gave him her wrists.

"I am so sorry Jess." She smiled at the younger man.

"It's okay Jack. He'll get his." She looked at Cutler. "Put a call into Garcia. See what she can do from her end." Jess knew once the FBI got wind of how Kitrick was abusing his power it wouldn't be long till she was free.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Cutler picked up the headset off the desk. Matt put him in charge for eight hours and he was already calling his boss back in. Jess was going to jail. It was an emergency he wasn't sure he had the power to control.

"Flash to Flying Tiger, come in Flying Tiger."

"Flying Tiger here go ahead Flash."

"Are you close to home?"

"About an hour or so…why?"

"Give me your exact coordinates. I'll send White Eagle to get you."

"What's happened?"

"Cole Kitrick is what happened. He took Jess to jail."

"Jail?"

"The warrant is for obstructing justice. He came in looking for some files and Jess wouldn't give them up."

"Does this have anything to do with Coral Ridge?"

"Yeah, everything to do with that."

"Okay send Frank to the Bass lodge. We're only ten minutes from there."

"You got it."

"Flash?"

"Yeah."

"Keep this from Ace and my dad."

"You got it. Take care." Cutler threw the head set on the desk and went outside to tell Frank to where to pick up Matt and Derek.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Matt turned and looked at his brother in law. He was doing well on the down hill stuff and Matt figured a few more runs he might be able to keep up to the rest of them. Now he had to tell him that his wife was in jail. Matt skied to the spot just behind Derek.

"Great view."

"Yeah, it's worth the trek out here."

"Cutler just called. Frank's picking us up at the Bass place."

"Problems?"

"Jess got arrested."

"Arrested?"

"It seems a CHP lieutenant with an ax to grind tried to get some files from her and she wouldn't do it."

"Sounds like our Jess."

"Yeah. Hopefully whatever judge signed the warrant will be in the mood to lock horns with me yet this afternoon." Matt headed toward the Bass lodge. "Let's hope Jess knows enough to keep her mouth shut and not to get into anymore trouble till we get there." Derek shook his head.

"Jess get into trouble? Never." Derek followed Matt down the hill.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Jess sat in the small cell. El Dorado wasn't known for its comfort and fine dinning. The sheriff was on a fishing trip. The under sheriff was an unassuming man she had never met. They locked her in her own six by six cell so it wasn't too bad.

"Jess." She looked up to see deputy Kelly Rigs. He had dated a high school friend of hers and they had been friends once.

"Hey Kel."

"I talked to Tucker. He said you were here. Can I get you anything?"

"No thanks. Just waiting till whoever decided the Kitrick was sane when he requested my warrant to come to their senses."

"Good luck with that. He's a judge with something to prove to everyone."

"Great. Now I have to have a back up plan." Jess heard a helicopter landing outside on the pad.

"I think your back up just landed. Cutler called and said Matt and Derek were on their way."

"Well at least you can meet my husband." Jess smiled.

"There's the upside of getting thrown in jail on a Saturday." He leaned against the bars. "It's good to see you Jess."

"Do it."

"Do what?" He smiled.

"Take the picture you so want to send to all our friends." She knew him better then he thought. He aimed his phone at her and took the picture.

"I find that on your Facebook I'm so finding the one when I shaved your head."

"You'll never find it." He pushed himself away form the cell and smiled. "I'll send your back up in when they're finished with the boss." Smiling Jess sat back down. This was not looking like the week end she had planned.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

To say Matt Hawkes was angry would be a massive understatement. Frank and Derek took a step back because if he blew he would take them all with him.

"You signed a warrant for the arrest of a decorated law enforcement officer that has local and federal jurisdiction in three states. What the hell were you thinking?" Matt was going to be sitting next to Jess if he kept talking to the judge standing in front of him the way he was.

"Mr. Hawkes…"

"I want my Ranger out of that cell now."

"Lieutenant Kitrick…"

"Is a pompous ass. I have more federal judges on my speed dial then you'll ever meet in your lifetime. Now if I have to call one of them on a Saturday because some back woods, correspondence school screw up sent one of my people to jail for trumped up charges it's not going to be pretty. Your career will start and end right here." Derek had never seen Matt quite so mad. Cole Kitrick stepped in from the hall.

"Still the bully I see Hawkes." Matt turned around.

"I will take care of you later. You had no right to do this Kitrick."

"Oh believe me Hawkes I had every right." He walked in front of Matt. The man was a good three inches shorter then him but was trying hard to be the one true authority in the room. "Threaten all you want I got my warrant and your cute little sister is going to stay in that cell till you and your people hand over every one of those files."

"It's never going to happen." Matt took his phone out of his pocket. Turning to the meek judge. "It's your choice. And by the way just so you know…that Ranger you so eagerly had put behind bars will sue you and this county if anything happens to her or her unborn child while in your custody." The judge paled and turned to the deputy next to him.

"Release Ranger Hawkes." Cole went to turn in a huff and Derek stepped in his path.

"You refer to my wife in any other way the Ranger Hawkes again Lieutenant and my wife will have you up on harassment chargers so fast you'll never see your badge hitting the desk when you get fired." Derek took a step back and let the man pass. The deputy hid a grin and took the keys off the desk and headed back to the holding cells.

"You Ranger Hawkes are a free woman." Jess looked at Kel.

"I didn't here gun fire or even a raised voice."

"Remember that time your dad caught you me and Alex skinning dipping in the Carson's pool?"

"Yeah…"

"The tone of voice he used to tell us to get dressed and get home?"

"Oh yeah. It scared the…well goose bumps off Alex. Matt mastered that? That's new. "Kel unlocked the door and let her out.

"Your husband seems really fond of you too." Jess shook her head.

"He's a keeper alright." Jess followed Kel out of the back room. Matt, Derek and Frank all stood silently by the door. "Should I ask how the training went?" Matt shook his head.

"You okay?" Matt asked.

"Yeah. It's all good." Matt looked at the judge.

"Next time you sign a warrant read it first. It would have saved us a whole lot of trouble."

"What if you were wrong Hawkes?" He looked at the older man.

"When it comes to my team, I'm never wrong." He looked at the judge. "Just so you know for future reference Judge Gould, I'm not the enemy. It's men like Cole Kitrick you have to be afraid of." He put his hand on his sister's shoulder and led her out the door followed by Derek and Frank.

"Thanks."

"You owe me. I should have left you in there for not calling me sooner." Jess looked at her brother.

"It was nothing. Kitrick was spouting off that's all. I called Sacramento and checked into the investigation and it's not official and it most likely won't be. I didn't want Kitrick pawing though our files."

"Kitrick is a bully and he always has been. Just give me a heads up next time." Jess nodded. The got into the helicopter. Derek hugged her.

"I leave you alone for a few hours and you get yourself arrested."

"How was I to know desk duty would lead to jail?" Derek kisser her. He was in for a wild ride with this one and if today was any indication he better hang on tight.


	11. Chapter 11

To Have And To Hold

Chapter Eleven

Matt sat at the end of the big conference table. Robin, Hart, Cutler, Avila, Flynn, Izzy, Jess and Morgan sat around him. He looked at the men and women in front of him. This was his family. His friends. His life. Matt stood up.

"Kitrick is gunning for us. I don't know what for this time but he wants it bad." Matt looked at Jess. "I'm sorry he went after you first Jess."

"No one knew what he was up to. Even the judge."

"Well he's abused his power for the last time. Cutler called Garcia in Washington. They have a heads up and their checking up on him but he's a loose cannon. I don't want anyone getting caught in the cross fire. And for the time being this stays in this room. It stays off Cody's radar. I don't need him and his hot head in the middle of this."

"Says the man who threatened a judge this afternoon." Jess laughed.

"Only to save your ass Hawkes." He smiled. "I have phone calls into everyone I know trying to find out what set him off. Kitrick has always been a poor sport. But we haven't butted heads since Jess's days in the Secret Service."

"That was what like eight years ago. Shouldn't he be over that by now?" Cutler looked at Matt.

"He didn't like that I recruited one of his best agents."

"Even though I quit." Jess flicked her pen.

"Well he sure thought I had something to do with it." Matt looked at his sister. He didn't even want to hire her back then. She was cocky and arrogant and full of rage. And sleeping with Cutler. "You didn't break his heart did you Jess?"

"Not with a ten foot pole." They all laughed. "I did some checking myself and Kitrick isn't even assigned to the Coral Ridge case. He's been working the boarder for the last six months."

"Maybe he has a hand in Coral Ridge." Derek looked at the people around him. "If he was working the boarder maybe he was letting some things through so they got to Coral Ridge." Matt sat down and tossed his pencil on his files.

"Give the new guy a cookie." Matt shook his head. "It all adds up. He's been helping Letta and her gang. Son of a bitch." Taking a deep breath he looked at the people in front of him. "We all agree to keep the fact Jess was in jail today from Cody?" They all nodded. "If my dad finds out so be it but until we know what Kitrick is up to Cody doesn't need to know anything."

"He's going to know some things up if were making calls when he gets back."

"Let him have his week end at least. Maybe if he's got three days of peace and quiet he'll come back in a better mood." Matt stood up again.

"I want this taken care of fast. Call in favors and pull out all the stops people. I'll be in my office for the rest of the day if you need me. Jess can I see you a minute." Jess stood and followed Matt into his office.

"What's up?"

"Can you take the night shift tonight?"

"Sure."

"Trainers got the phones all you have to do is to be here if a call comes in. You and Derek can bunk in your old room."

"Cutler might enjoy that way too much."

"Cutler is back home. He has been for a week. But he'll be taking a cot tonight. I just need to spend some time with Robin without the stress of my beeper going off."

"I understand. Next week end you don't set foot in this place."

"Did you talk to Robin?"

"She's dealing better then I would be if I had to make that choice. If it was you or Cody, I couldn't do it.'

"Yeah me either."

"Take the rest of the week end Matt. Cutler and I can handle things here."

"Not with Kitrick on the loose. I will be checking in regularly."

"You are starting to loosen up Matt. Really it will make you a better leader." He smiled at his sister.

"Was I really that bad?"

"No, just tense." She leaned over and whispered in his ear. "Now that your getting laid regularly it's hasn't been a problem." She kissed his cheek and headed out the door before he could slap her. Derek was waiting for her in the hall. "You and I are working the night shift tonight." Jess looked at her watch. "You need a nap before six."

"You have other plans?"

"Well you know I was in jail for a long time. A girl has needs." She kissed him.

"Well then, we may have to do something about that now won't we?" Jess smiled.

"Let's get out of here." Jess took his hand and they headed home for a "nap".

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Matt sat with Robin next to her brother's bed. She knew it was time. They had run every test and did all they could for him. Tonight she would do what she had been putting off till she'd been absolutely sure there wasn't a thing they could do for him.

"I can call Jess if you want." He held Robin's hand tightly.

"I'm okay. You're here, that's all that matters." Shep came into the room.

"Are you ready?" Robin looked at the doctor.

"Is anyone ever really ready to do something like this?"

"I'm going to tell you again he might hang on for awhile after we disconnect him from the respirator. It could be hours or it could be a few days."

"I know. I read all the papers and signed them."

"I know you did Robin but I just want you to know that it may or may not happen right away."

"What if it doesn't happen at all? What if he hangs on?" Shep looked at the chart in front of him.

"I don't thing we have to worry about that." He looked at his friends. "I think it'll be quick. I've been wrong but honestly I don't think it'll be more then a few hours." Robin nodded. Shep removed the tubes and wires that were keeping Daniel Kelly alive for over two weeks. Robin took a deep breath and hoped it was as swift and painless as they promised it would be.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Jess was sitting at the front desk when Cody walked in. It was nearly seven o'clock and all had been quiet. Everyone was off doing their own thing and she was going over some reports.

"Hey baby sister." Jess looked up.

"Hi. Why aren't you home with your family?"

"I could say the same for you."

"Derek's here cooking dinner. Matt had to go to the hospital with Robin."

"Tonight's the night?"

"I think she finally found she had no other choice." Cody sat down.

"Did you open Jen's letter?"

"Yeah. She told me to get it assess without the repairs and we'll go from there. I called and someone can go out next week if the snow doesn't get deeper."

"You still want it?"

"It's an investment. I can always rent it out but I think after Derek saw it today he agrees with me it would make a great summer house."

"How was his first down hill ski training?"

"Matt said he needs a little work with his stopping but other then that he should be able to keep up with anyone not named Hawkes." Cody laughed.

"I better get home. I just wanted to make sure the place didn't fall down around you. I came home and it was too quiet."

"How are your in-laws doing?"

"Still rich and still loving me so I guess I should be great full." He stood up. "Talk to you later."

"Bye. Kiss the kids goodnight for me."

"You bet. See you in church in the morning." Cody left just as Derek came from the kitchen.

"Was that Cody?"

"Yeah. I almost had to throw my body on the desk to cover my papers."

"Any luck?"

"If he was coming from the boarder to here he never left a trail. I checked cell phone records and his credit cards. Nothing puts him anywhere near her in the last five years except for his dad's funeral in '04."

"He's and expert at hiding things with being in the Seal's and the Secret Service."

"That's what I'm afraid of." Jess stood up and stretched her legs. "Dinner smells great."

"You had your doubts?" Jess smiled.

"Honey I will never in a million years doubt that you could make anything taste good." She leaned over and kissed him. Cutler came in.

"Okay you two this is a no kissing zone. Don't make me have to write you both up."

"You're just jealous you threw this all away Jimmy." Jess smiled. Cutler laughed.

"Every day of my miserable existence. Dinner smells great Derek."

"It'll be ready in fifteen minutes. I better get back to it." Derek went back to the kitchen.

"Not bad Jess. Does he clean to?"

"Yes he does. I got him this cute little French maid g…"

"Over sharing Jess. Please don't make me have that picture in my head." Jess laughed and the phone rang. She picked it up.

"Ranger station. Ranger Hawkes."

"Hey Jess its Matt. How are things going?"

"As smoothly as they can without you."

"I don't know how long I'll be here. He's hanging on."

"How's Robin?"

"Not good."

"Do you need me to come up there?"

"No. I feel better having you and Cutler there in case we get a call."

"I bet you never thought you'd here those words come out of your mouth." Jess laughed.

"I always knew the two of you had it in you in theory. I just thought better of testing it."

"We have things covered here. Don't worry."

"If I don't see you tonight I'll see you in church tomorrow."

"Good night Matt."

"Night Jess." Jess hung up the phone and looked at Cutler.

"Daniel's hanging on."

"That's got to be hard."

"You're telling me. I keep thinking if I had to make that kind of decision I don't think I could do it. Ever." Jess grabbed the phone. "You ready for dinner?"

"Yeah." They both headed for the kitchen.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Derek sat in Jess's old room at the Ranger station. Jess had gone to take a shower and he looked around at the pictures and memories she had yet to remove from the room. There was a framed picture of Jess with Matt and Cody taken in front of the Ranger station. Derek figured it was the first day Jess had become a Ranger.

"That's my favorite picture of the three of us. Except the ones in the baby book." Jess stood in the door way. "It was right after Cody came back from the Marines."

"Your hair is brown." Jess smiled.

"I experimented after coming home from college. There's one of me and Cutler around here where I'm blonder then Robin." She sat on the bed; I was really trying to piss off everyone back then." Drying her hair with a towel she looked at her husband. "I hurt Matt." Derek looked at her.

"We all do things we regret when were young Jess."

"I know. But I really was a bitch." She looked at the picture. "I really made his life hell."

"You made up for it Jess. You've been the best sister you know how to be. What brought all this on?"

"I keep thinking about how Robin had to make the choice to keep Daniel alive. I know…" Tears welled up in Jess's eyes.

"Baby you may never have to make that kind of choice. And you never have to do it alone." Derek sat down and kissed her. "I promise."

"I love you Derek Morgan."

"I love you too baby now why don't we get some sleep before the phone rings." Jess smiled and laid down next to her husband and hopped he was right about ever having to make the choice Robin had to make.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Jess was before the whistle from downstairs ended. Walking to the door she looked down the steps to Cutler.

"Rutgers Tavern is burning. The sheriff wants you, Trainer and Morgan working the scene."

"You got it." Jess turned around and ran into Derek. He already had his pants on. "You're getting good at this Ranger Morgan." Jess kissed him.

"Got to make a good impression." Jess grabbed her jeans and put them on.

"You already in good with the boss and his sister."

"Doesn't mean I can't do a good job now does it?" They were dressed in less then five minutes. Cutler handed them the crime scene bags and their guns.

"Make me proud kids." Jess smiled.

"You're an ass Cutler." The two of them and Trainer headed to the tavern six miles down the road.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

"Jess." Jayden Trainer came up to her.

"Yeah."

"It's not looking good. I got at least four bodies."

"It's four o'clock in the morning. The dispatcher said the call came in at three. According to the fire Chief Clive Rutgers was bartending and he never pays more then one waitress on a week night. So two people missed last call?"

"It's still pretty hot so we have to wait but the back door was locked from the inside with a chain but if memory serves me Clive did that because people were skipping out on their tabs."

"They never had a chance if the fire broke out near the front door." Jess looked at the burn pattern. "We need to find out who those other two bodies are." Derek came up to them.

"I had Cutler run the plates of the cars around the bar. One is registered to Rutgers, another to Claireen Woodson. The chief said she was a waitress."

"Yeah." Jess knew the woman. She was a single mom to a great fifteen year old girl that babysat for Cody sometimes.

"Three of them come back to locals that we need to check if they made it home or not and the last one is a rental. Rented yesterday by Cole Kitrick." Jess looked at Derek.

"Cole." Derek nodded. "I better call Matt." Jess took her phone out of her pocket.

"Don't bother, I'm already here." She turned to see her brother looking like hell with two days worth of hair on his face and his eyes blood shot. "I saw you go by when I was leaving the hospital to get a shower."

"I love you Matt but damn you look like hell."

"Thanks sis." He looked at the bar. "This doesn't look good."

"No. Kitrick's rental is parked in the lot." Matt looked at her.

"One of those bodies him?"

"We won't be able to tell till it cools and we can get to the bodies." Jess took a deep breath. "Go home. We'll be here awhile. I'll have Trainer call you when we know more."

"Call me the minute you know anything. I want to know if we have to worry about Kitrick or look for his killer."

"You got it." Jess watched him get back into his truck. It was going to be a long day. Turning back to the charred remains of the bar she prayed they would make it though.


	12. Chapter 12

To Have And To Hold

Chapter Twelve

The third pew from the front of St Matthew's Church in Lake Tahoe was reserved for the Hawkes and the Rangers. Jesse Hawkes looked at the long pew. Nine o'clock was growing near and no on but he and Jackie were there. Cody and Sarah came in a few minutes later with the kids. Jesse leaned over and whispered in his son's ear.

"Where are your brother and sister?"

"Both trucks were at the station when I drove by. I'm sure they're working dad." Jesse looked at his watch. Eight fifty three and counting. Matt came in from the opposite side and slid in next to Jackie.

"Jess was in the shower when I left. They had a fire last night and she and Derek were a mess." Jesse glared at his oldest son. "I didn't start the fire." The older Hawkes looked at his watch. Cutler and Flynn slid in next to Sarah. Jesse looked at them. Flynn shrugged. Eight fifty seven. With her hair still wet Jess slid in next to Cutler. Derek followed just as the music started. If looks could kill Jess knew her father would have killed her long ago. She turned to him and smiled. Feeling Father Jonah's eyes on her she turned and faced the front of the church and stood with the others. This was going to make last night look like a cake walk. Jess could just feel it.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Church ended and Ava jumped out of her father's lap straight into Derek's arms. The girl loved her new uncle with all her heart. Jess smiled. She knew exactly how the little girl felt. Moving out of the pew the wave of nausea hit her hard. Without looking back she headed out the big double doors to the bathroom. The church had always been uncomfortably warm no matter what the season and right now warm was on thing Jess hated being.

"Jess?" Sarah's voice echoed in the small bathroom. "Are you okay?"

"I almost forgot I was pregnant there for a minute."

"It comes and goes sometimes. If it helps any I think your father forgives you for almost being late."

"Well now there's a reason to puke my guts out." Jess flushed the toilet and went out to the sink. "Oh my gosh. I look like death." Running the water she took a towel to her face. Sarah handed her the makeup bag she never left home without. "You have to teach me how to keep everything together like you do."

"I have nothing better to do with my time." She laughed. "And I wouldn't have it any other way." Jess made herself look more respectable.

"You're a life saver Sarah." She smiled.

"Anytime." They left the bathroom to their friends and family waiting.

"Are you okay?" Derek was holding Ava's hand.

"Yeah. I just got a little warm that's all." She looked down at the little dark haired girl holding tightly to her husband's hand. "Are you ready for dinner at grandma and grandpa's Ava girl?"

"Can I ride with you and Uncle Derek?" Her brown eyes looked at her pleadingly.

"Ask your mom and dad." The little girl went to her father and Derek took his wife in his arms.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'll live." They walked outside. Father Jonah stood talking to her father. "But the day is still young." Jess and Derek walked slowly down the steps of the church. The father smiled at her.

"It's good to see you Jess."

"Good morning Father Jonah."

"Derek." Jonah shook their hands. "I was happy to see you both home safe."

"It's good to be home." The walked to where Matt stood next to his truck.

"Nothing like cutting it close little sister."

"I know." She opened the door and reached into the truck and handed Matt a file. "One of the plates we ran didn't come home. Danny Largo. He's got a petty rap sheet for drugs."

"So are we thinking the fourth body is Cole?"

"I'm not taking any bets. He's a snake Matt."

"Don't I know it." He took the file. "Trainer's going to the morgue to try and ID the bodies." Ava came running up to them.

"Daddy said it was okay if I rided with you. He's getting my seat." Jess smiled.

"Okay sunshine." Jess walked over to her father and mother standing talking to Sarah. "Sorry I was almost late again."

"You were born late Jess." Jesse hugged his daughter. "Are you feeling better?" She nodded and hugged her mother.

"It just got really hot in there." Jesse shook his head.

"I'm sure you stepping foot in church will do that." She looked at her dad.

"Remember I'm the good child." Cody rolled his eyes.

"Your nose is growing Pinocchio." Jess glared at Cody.

"I'll see you at dinner." Jess turned around and headed back to her truck.

"Why do you insist on irritating her Cody?" His mother glared at him.

"It's my job as a big brother." His mother looked at him.

"When she shoots you don't come crying to me." Jackie got into the truck.

"You're going to piss all the women in your life off today?" Jesse looked at his younger son.

"Two down, two to go." He smiled and headed to his truck to get Ava's car seat. Jesse shook his head and got into the car with his wife.

"What are we going to do with those three?" Jesse looked at Jackie.

"You mean the three strong, pig headed, workaholics that we raised?"

"They are pretty pig headed. I wonder where they got that from?" Jesse smiled at his wife. She laughed.

"I just wonder."

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

After dinner Jess looked though the files on her desk. Cody came back tomorrow morning and he would need to be brought up to speed on what went on over the week end and Jess just didn't have it in her to tell him so she was going to be sneaking and put it into a report. Matt came into the lobby.

"Trainer just called. The fourth body was Sam McCaullen." Jess looked at Matt.

"So where's Cole?"

"I called his office. No one has seen or heard from him since he left on Friday for a conference in DC."

"Sam McCaullen? Where do I know that name from?" Jess pulled out a file, then another. "The guy worked for Jerry Lexington."

"The munitions guy that died with Letta?"

"Yeah. And guess who made delivery's now and then?"

"Danny Largo."

"So these guys might have known that Cole was part of Letta's operation." Matt cringed. This whole mess was really getting to him. It all lead back to Letta and her merry gang of convicts.

"Where are Cutler and Morgan?"

"At the crime scene. They wanted it cooled down a little more before they sifted thought the ashes."

"Tell me again why the sheriff called you guys in?"

"He said his team was out sick."

"The whole team?"

"That's what he said." Matt looked at his sister.

"This fire and Letta are connected. Let's see if we can connect a few more dots." Jess saw where he was going.

"Maybe if I can connect Terry and Daniel we got the whole big crime drama all wrapped up."

"All we need to do is find Kitrick. He could tie this up with a nice neat bow and maybe we can chill out till spring."

"Wishful thinking big brother."

"How are you feeling?"

"After my performance in church?" She laughed. "I felt better after I ate. It's so hot in that place and then I hadn't eaten since last night."

"You don't leave here on a call without something in your stomach Jess. I don't need you passing out on me. What ever happened to staying behind the desk?"

"Last one I promise."

"You're such a liar. As far as collecting evidence I don't see a problem but I draw the line on rescues. Do you understand Ranger Hawkes?" Jess tried not to smile.

"Yes sir."

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Cody stood on his porch with a beer in his hand. It had been nice to have three days of uninterrupted rest and relaxation. After the week he had it was nice to just be with his family. Matt came though the woods and headed toward him. Cody had actually missed the big lug the last few days.

"I knew you couldn't live without me." Matt laughed.

"Yeah, I forgot it takes three people to coral Jess on a bad day. You look good Toad."

"It amazing what eight hours a sleep in a row does to you. You should try it sometime big brother." He took a long drink of his beer.

"You got another one of those." Cody motioned to the snow bank next to the porch. Matt grabbed one and twisted the cap off and put it in his pocket. "Thanks."

"You're not going back to work?"

"No Jess and Cutler told me if they see me again today they are both walking out the door and not looking back."

"Must have really pissed them off?"

"Scared them is more like it. I think they thought I had died this morning."

"How's Robin?"

"Okay. She wants to start back to work tomorrow. I told her it was too soon."

"She's not going to Sweden for the funeral?"

"No she said her good byes. I think it would be more stressful on her. Especially since I couldn't go with her." Cody looked at his brother.

"If she needs to go Matt go with her. I know you have trust issues but brother we've been doing this a really long time. Cutler, Jess and me can handle things for a week or two. We've been down two people for most of the winter. Trainer's willing to put in a few more hours and so are Hart and Flynn. Hell everyone would pull an extra shift if it meant helping Robin. You know that."

"I can't ask you guys to do that."

"You don't have to ask. Matt don't you know this team would do anything for you? That me and Jess would do anything for you?" Matt looked at his little brother.

"I know. You know I'd do the same."

"You have done the same. Now you need to let us do for you." He handed Matt an envelope.

"What's this?"

"Two tickets to Stockholm. Leaving tomorrow morning from Sacramento." Matt squinted.

"Cody, I can't…this is too much."

"Non refundable. You need to take Robin home for a little while. She needs it. Hell you need it." Cody turned and looked at the starts twinkling brightly over the mountains. "It took you a long time to realize she was the one Matt. Don't screw it up now."

"You just want to get rid of me." Cody smiled.

"There are easier and cheaper ways to get rid of you." Cody took another swallow of his beer. "I have a flight plan filed for tomorrow morning. I'll take you to Sacramento. Your pass port is already in your carry on bag on your bed. Call Robin. You know how long it takes that woman to pack." Cody tossed his empty bottle in the trash by the garage door. "Don't worry about Kitrick. I've got everyone within a hundred mile radius looking for him."

"You know about Kitrick?" Cody opened another beer and tossed his phone to Matt. He opened it and there was a picture of Jess in jail as his screen saver.

"I knew Kel would be her down fall." Cody laughed.

"You're not the only one with ears everywhere. " Cody leaned against the railing. "I know now isn't a good time but you need to go. Cutler, Morgan and I will be with Jess every waking and sleeping moment. She won't even know we're watching her."

"Who's going to be watching you little brother?"

"I'm sure Cutler, Morgan and Jess have my back just like I have there's. Maybe Sarah will let Benji spend a few nights on the couch."

"That's pushing it little brother." Matt downed the rest of his beer and tossed the bottle in the trash. "Okay. I'll go on one condition."

"What?"

"You call me the minute Kitrick shows himself. I'm hoping he's just trying to get the drugs Letta was going after off the mountain and covering his tracks as he goes along. So as long as we stay out of his way he won't try to hurt anyone."

"Deal." Cody offered his hand and Matt took it and they man hugged. "Bet you can't top Jess's presents she brought back from her trip." Matt pushed him away and laughed.

"Customs might have a problem with me trying to top horses." Matt said goodbye and headed home. Robin was meeting him there. He hopped she was up to the long trip to Sweden after the last few days.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Cody sat at the head of the conference room table. He had gotten up early and gotten Matt and Robin to Sacramento before there seven am flight. It was now eight and the remaining ten Rangers sat in front of him.

"Okay this the way we're going to do things for the next week or so. Twelve hours on twelve off five Rangers during daylight hours, four at night. Cutler's taking the night shift with Cooper, Trainer, Alvila, and Flowers. I'll take Flynn, Jacobs, Hart, Morgan and Jess during the day. But we're all on call. So for the next week or so keep within the boundaries of our jurisdiction which is a big area but carry your gear. Jay, you're the only one that really needs to stick close because Jess can't go tramping in the woods if we have any forensic stuff to collect. I'm hoping this goes smoothly so Matt knows we can do this if he wants to take a day off now and then."

"But we don't want him to think we totally can't live without him." Jess added.

"Right. I don't need that drama. Now on to the subject of Kitrick. You all have pictures of him in your packets I gave you. I don't want that bastard within a hundred yards of here. He's no longer a member of the CHP. The FBI is investigating him and if I have my way, arresting him before days end. " Cody stood up. "Jim knows he can call me anytime day or night if he needs anything. Jess and Derek are going to bunk here also so if you need them Jim." Cutler nodded. He stood.

"I don't see any reason we can't pull this off. We've worked together a long time. We can do this job with our eyes closed. Let's not let Matt down." Cody nodded.

"Night shift, get some sleep. I want to see you bright eyed and bushy tailed at six." They all said good bye and Jess stood next to Cody and Derek.

"Let's pray for a quiet week."

"Maybe you should go light a candle." Cody looked at his sister.

"You know Father Jonah won't let me any where near anything with a flame." Jess smiled.

"Oh yeah. I keep forgetting." They headed to the front desk and hopefully an uneventful week.


	13. Chapter 13

To Have and To Hold

Chapter Thirteen

It was only after noon and Jess was ready to call it a day. Cody set down a cup of tea in front of her.

"How much do you love me?" She looked up.

"Oh I'd say the longer I sit in front of this blasted thing the love flows less and less."

"He's out there somewhere Jess and he's going to get sloppy."

"You don't know him like I do. He's like a dog with a bone when he gets something in his head. One time he thought one of his agents was dating one of the president's staff and he almost killed himself trying to pin something on this guy."

"He wants those drugs from Coral Ridge and until spring the only way up that mountain is though us. I have the airports on alert. Anything that hasn't filed a flight plan goes within a hundred miles of that ranch they will be calling us. I got his cell tapped and his truck is impounded. If he rents a vehicle in California or Nevada we got him. Take a break sis. You're going to go blind." Jess smiled.

"You making my husband cook again aren't you?"

"He volunteered. Mom might be better off leaving the diner to him then any of us."

"Don't give her any ideas." Jess sat back and closed her eyes. "Remind me why we do this?"

"To protect and serve and to make this a safer world for our children." Jess smiled.

"That's right. I keep forgetting that." She spun her chair around. "I remember a time I dreamed of sitting in this chair. Now it haunts me."

"You love it just as much as I do Jess. You can't lie."

"I know. I have to complain a little don't I?"

"Yeah, I guess you've earned that right." Cody sat down on the other chair. "You feel okay?"

"Not to bad. I get queasy if I get too over heated but other then that every things been fine. I have a doctor's appointment next week. I never thanked you for getting Lee and Hale's medical records for me."

"Not a problem. I know there was a ton of questions on past history when Sarah had her first few appointments." Jess opened her eyes.

"I better get back to work before my boss gets on my ass."

"I guess I better do the same. When is Cutler going to pick up that rescue dog?"

"April I think."

"You don't think Jess. You always know." She smiled.

"April. Why you thinking of getting one of your own?"

"No. I just remembered Matt saying something about it and I didn't know when. I guess I should ask if there's anything on the calendar for the next week." Jess looked at the big calendar on her desk.

"Nothing pressing except we were suppose to have a CPR refresher course this week end. Robin was going to run it. We have three Rangers and six first responders signed up."

"Your qualified to do it aren't you?"

"Yes I am."

"Please will you cover the class Jess?"

"Why yes I will." Jess smiled. "Now let me get back to my futile search for Kitrick." She turned back to the computer.

"Have I told you that you're the best lately?"

"I know. Don't you forget it."

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Jess was still playing connect the criminals and hour later when Derek walked in. She looked tired and he's wish she would take a step back and take a break but he knew once she got started on something she wouldn't stop till she figured it out.

"Come and eat." He said from the door way. Jess looked up. He looked like a god standing there with the sun at his back. She smiled.

"You don't have to ask me twice." Shutting down her computer she stood up. "How does Garcia do this all day everyday?" Derek put his arm around her and rubbed her shoulders.

"The woman has microchips in her blood."

"I see." Derek led her to the table and she sat down. Flynn, Jacobs and Hart sat at the table eating. "Where's Cody?"

"In his office. He got a call on his cell." Jess took the plate Derek offered her.

"Smells great." Derek sat down and they all had a nice quiet meal. Cody came back and sat down but Jess noticed he was quiet. Jess didn't like when Cody got quiet. It scared her. After dinner Flynn and Jess cleaned up and Derek and Hart went to work out. Jess looked worried.

"He would have told you if it was something bad Jess."

"He got quiet Benji. Cody doesn't do quiet any better then I do." She handed him another plate to go into the dish washer.

"Jess really, you got to stop worrying about the small stuff."

"Maybe you should start worrying a little more." He smiled.

"That's how you get grey hairs and an ulcer." Jess smiled.

"Your right about that."

"I'll finish up. You go see if big brother needs a shoulder to cry on." Jess looked at Flynn. He was bating her. He loved doing that.

"No. Like you said if he needed something he would have said something." Benji shook his head.

"You're not as easy to set off as you used to be." Jess smiled.

"Lord knows you and Cody set me off too many times to count." He looked at her.

"Is it too late to tell you I'm sorry?" Jess laughed.

"No. And I'm sorry I was such a brat for most of teenage years." It was Flynn's turn to laugh. They finished the dishes in a comfortable silence. Jess poured a cup of coffee and headed to her brother's office. She set the cup in front of Cody.

"Thanks."

"Sure." Jess turned to leave.

"Did you know Gabe was in the army?" She turned around.

"No. I really didn't know much. Just what dad told us."

"He was a medic in Korea. His wife was an Army nurse. Their son Jackson lives in Carson City. He's a doctor." Jess sat down across from her brother.

"So he wasn't always the crazy mountain man huh?"

"No." Cody swallowed hard. "I was one bad day away from being Gabe Jess." He looked at his sister. "If we hadn't found Ava that day I might have run away just like he did."

"None of us would have let you. Gabe didn't have the support system you have."

"We don't know that Jess. He may have had parents and brothers and sisters."

"But they weren't us." Jess looked into her brother's stormy eyes. "You would never have gotten half way up that mountain back then. Someone would of dragged your ass back down here and we'd of made you see that life goes on and some days your going to stumble but you got to get right back up."

"Dad did it." Jess stood up.

"Dad had his reasons and he had you. He didn't give up on the world; he just blocked it out for a few years. Maybe that's what we all need sometimes but you would have never been like Gabe." Jess crossed her arms in front of her. "You're not like him Cody. You don't give in and you never give up on doing what you have to. You proved that by staying alive in Afghanistan."

"You always know what to say to make it right." Jess smiled.

"It comes with having two brothers who don't know when they have it good." She looked at Cody and the storm was leaving his eyes. "Is that why you got so quiet? You were thinking about Gabe?"

"He left his land to dad and me. A lawyer in Carson City filed an injunction because his son is contesting it."

"Gabe's son?"

"Yeah, apparently he knew who his father was and he wants to deem Gabe incompetent at the time of the will signing."

"Gabe was loopy for all the years I've know him. This guy could win."

"It's not about the land. It's about what Gabe wanted. He wants his ash's spread over that land in the spring. He wants us to tear down his cabin and plant a garden for the deer." Jess smiled.

"That sounds like Gabe." She looked out the window. "Not much we can do till the snow melts. There's no way we can prove Gabe wasn't crazy. The dolls alone will put him over the edge on paper."

"I'm sure we'll figure something out." Jess turned back to him.

"We always do. If you need me I'll be finding my needle in a haystack."

"Good luck with that." Jess went back to her desk. Derek came in a few minutes later fresh from a shower.

"Are you having fun yet?' She looked at her husband.

"Tons."

"Why does Kitrick dislike your family so much?" Jess stopped typing.

"When Matt and him were in high school Matt got the scholarship Cole was working for. Matt got the girl Cole wanted to date. Then when Matt first took over the Ranger's he saved Kitrick from a climbing accident. That's the favor Matt called in when I got the Secret Service job. Kitrick road my ass hard. Pushed me like no one ever had before. Everything he felt for Matt he was pushing on me."

"Not a very good leader."

"He had his moments. Four years he was there no matter what I did, waiting for me to screw up. I stayed as long as I could but in the end I quit. A few years later he took a leave and never went back. He started with the Highway Patrol in two thousand two. We crossed paths a few times and he was hell bent on causing problems."

"You'd think the phyc evaluations alone should weed these kinds of people out." Jess smiled.

"He can charm a snake without even trying." Jess sat back and looked at her husband. "But he also could make you hate him with just a few words. When I quit the Secret Service he told me I would never work in law enforcement again. I guess he made me a little more bitter then I already was. I took it out on Matt and everyone here."

"They got over it eventually." Derek smiled. Jess tapped a few more keys.

"Yes they did." She read the screen in front of her. "And I got the last dot." Jess hit the print button.

"What?"

"I found a connection between Terry White, Daniel Kelly and Kitrick." She got up and headed toward Cody's office. She walked in. "I found our missing link." Cody looked up from his papers.

"Every single time Terry was in Stockholm at the inn Kitrick was in Sweden too. Staying at a lodge ten miles from the Kelly's." Derek stood behind Jess. Cody looked at the both of them.

"Now we found the connection, let's go find Kitrick and put an end to Coral Ridge and the mess it's made of this mountain."

"Amen to that." Jess knew that once Kitrick was caught and whatever drugs were left on the mountain things could go back to normal once and for all.


	14. Chapter 14

To Have And To Hold

Chapter Fourteen

The phone rang at five fifty. Jess didn't want to answer it. She had five minutes before she could hall her tired rear end upstairs and pass out.

"Ranger station. Jess Hawkes."

"Hey little sister." Jess smiled.

"Hi. How's Sweden?"

"Cold. How's Cody doing?"

"Good. Really good Matt. You'd be proud."

"I already am proud of both of you." Jess smiled.

"There was a time I would have given my eye teeth to hear you say that."

"I know. I'm sorry for that. Jess you know that I've been proud of everything you've done."

"You're going to make me cry." Jess laughed. "Damn hormones."

"You said it, I didn't. Anything on Kitrick?"

"He was in Stockholm the same time Terry was. He stayed at an inn about five miles from the Kelly's."

"Send me a picture of Kitrick. Maybe we can get something here."

"Your suppose to be on vacation."

"If we can solve this thing I will gladly give up a half hour to ask a few questions."

"How's Robin?"

"I really think she missed it."

"Well take your time. We have things under control here."

"The troops behaving?"

"Always. They even came in early for dinner."

"Mom's going to get mad if Derek keeps cooking for us."

"They cooked together. She came here and they made something that smells wonderful."

"I better get home to make sure your people stay in shape after eating so much."

"Whatever it is I was told it was healthy and low cal so who knows."

"Am I keeping you from dinner?"

"No. I'm taking mine up to my room and passing out. My relief is just finishing up."

"Take it as easy as you can Jess. I don't want you to over due it."

"I'm pregnant Matt. Woman have been doing this a long time."

"But you've never done it Jess and no matter what a bad ass you think you are things can happen."

"Well aren't you just full of rainbows and unicorns this evening."

"Jess you know what I mean." She laughed.

"I do. The only thing I'm getting working is eye strain and I just added optical to our insurance plan." Matt laughed now.

"I'm glad one of us is thinking clearly. Send me that picture and I'll do some digging around here. Take care Jess."

"You too. Talk to you soon." Jess hung up just as Izzy set her plate in front of her.

"You are officially relieved." She smiled.

"I have to send Matt a picture of Kitrick and I'm so out of here."

"Derek said he'd be up in an hour or so. He's going running." Jess shook her head.

"He so makes me look bad."

"Running isn't for everyone." Jess sent the file to Matt's phone and gave Izzy his chair.

"If he wasn't so damn good looking I'd commit him. It's like ten degrees out there."

"This is nothing. When he goes out and it's ten below then worry." Jess smiled and took her plate.

"Have a good night Iz. You know where to find me if you need me."

"Cutler said to swing by the kitchen on your way up."

"Okay. Everything has been quiet so far."

"Way to jinx it Hawkes." Izzy sat down and Jess headed to the kitchen.

"Izzy said you wanted to see me."

"Yeah, I got a call this morning about the dogs. The breeder said he's got a brother and a sister that would do well in the mountains. He wanted to know if you still wanted to wait for yours."

"I'll talk to Matt and see what he things."

"I explained to the breeder you were pregnant and he told me that the dog might bond better with you because of it. But no pressure." Jess smiled.

"I'll think about it and talk it over with Derek and Matt. Our house won't be ready till late June early July if they get started in April. Matt might not like having a four legged friend sharing the space." Cutler laughed.

"Just get back to me by Friday."

"You got it." Jess went upstairs to eat and crawl into bed.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Derek took the last half mile toward the Ranger station in a slow jog. He knew Jess would be waiting for him when he got back. Cody was out on his porch when he passed by so he stopped.

"Want a beer?" Derek smiled.

"I wouldn't say no." Cody took a bottle from the snow bank and twisted off the lid and handed it to his brother in law.

"How was the run?"

"Cold." Cody laughed.

"Hopefully we only have another few weeks of this. I can stand the snow but I draw the line at cold."

"Says the weather man living in the mountains."

"Hey I wasn't always like this. Back in the day me and Jess could live in sweatshirts and jeans twelve months out of the year. They only time we put on jackets was when we went skiing. Even then they were thinner then most people would wear."

"She is pretty hot blooded." Cody laughed. "Hot headed too." Cody took a long swig of his beer.

"That she is. She hasn't had a good explosion in quiet awhile."

"You were hoping for one?" Derek took a swig of his beer.

"Not me. Last big one was three years ago when she caught Cutler with the Swedish ski bunny. The girl went ballistic. I thought that was the beginning of the end." Cody looked out at the night sky. "She rarely smiled after that. Until you."

"You giving me more credit then I deserved. Your sister would have found happiness sooner or later." Cody shook his head.

"You underestimate the power you have over my sister. Enough about my hot blooded, pig headed sister. So how was your official full day as a High Mountain Ranger?"

"Slow. But after years of the fast paced crime drama I'm more then ready for slow." Derek looked out at the night sky. "I can't remember when I saw stars like this." Cody looked up.

"They show up every night. When Jess used spend summers here she'd make me go out on the roof of the cabin and tell her what all the constellations were. I'd be falling asleep and shed poke me and tell me to keep going."

"I wish I would have know her back then."

"She was a handful." Cody turned and looked at his brother in law. "Still is."

"Don't I know it? I just hope she doesn't over due it. How can I voice my concern without her taking my head off?"

"You two haven't fought much have you?"

"Not since the day she and Cutler got buried."

"Maybe that's what you need is a knock down drag out fight." Derek laughed.

"You really don't like me do you?"

"I'm giving you good sound advice my friend. Maybe if me and Jess would have fought it out instead of tip toeing around me joining the Marines we wouldn't spent six months not talking to each other."

"I can't believe the two of you went that long without talking."

"It was pretty bad. I just wish I would have been the bigger person and just fixed before I left."

"You were both young."

"Yeah." Cody looked at the snow in front of him. "That's the longest six months of my life. Now after knowing what I do about her parents…I feel like such an ass for what I did. I left her just like they did."

"Is that what's been going on with you?" Cody looked at Derek.

"What do you mean?"

"You've been trying extra hard to hide it but you've been hovering like a mother hen since we got back from DC."

"I'm that transparent?"

"Not to the untrained eye."

"Then why hasn't Jess caught on?"

"She's got other things on her mind." Derek downed the rest of his beer. "Don't sweat what you can't change my friend. You should know that. And on that note I better be getting back before she thinks I ran all the way back to DC." He handed Cody his bottle. "Thanks for the beer."

"Anytime." Derek headed back to the station and Cody headed into the house.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Jess was asleep when Derek got out of the shower. He watched her sleep. Her dark blond hair spread out on her pillow. Derek Morgan never considered himself a lucky man but the day he met Jess he knew that things were looking up. Slipping under the covers he pulled her close. His hand rubbing the bump that was her belly. He felt a flutter. Moving his hand he felt it again.

"Oh baby." He whispered.

"She's been moving around all evening." Jess opened her eyes.

"That's amazing." She smiled.

"That's your daughter." Derek pulled her closer.

"I love you Jess." He kissed her neck.

"I love you too Derek." He pulled her closer.

"I know I might be asking a lot Jess but…be careful. I know you don't want to hear it but if anything happens to you…or her." She squeezed his hand.

"I won't do anything that might hurt either of us." Jess knew that she would go crazy the next few months but in the end it will be worth it. Giving Derek his baby girl was the only thing that mattered.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Cutler took the fax out of the machine. He was hoping for a really easy week. If finding Kitrick wasn't bad enough now a prison bus from Fulsome was an hour late. He looked at his watch. What the hell were they doing moving prisoners in the night?

"Problems?" Izzy came in with coffee.

"Fulsome has a missing prison bus."

"Great. That's all we need."

"The sheriff will call if there's no sign of them by daybreak."

"So they're going to let these guys ramble around till the sun comes up." Cutler shook his head.

"They lost the GPS around Sutter Creek."

"Cutler the mountains end there. It's a straight shot to Placerville and then to Fulsome…maybe they just ran out of gas."

"We can only hope." Cutler set the paper down and sat at Jess's desk. "Where is everybody?"

"Lounge. Trainer has Frank sucked into some sci fi thing."

"I thought you loved that stuff."

"Well I gave that up when I got married. Now I'm lucky if I get an action flick in between the chick flicks I'm forced to watch."

"That my friend is why I will never get married."

"Jess liked all the same movies you did."

"Are you going to rub it in that I made the worst mistake of my life for the rest of my life?"

"Naww…just till you forget then I'll remind you again." Izzy laughed and headed into the lounge and Cutler just sat at Jess's desk and found paperwork to keep his mind off of the life he made for himself.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Jess rolled over and looked at the clock. It was only four thirty but she knew if she went back to sleep now she wouldn't feel like getting up in an hour. Sliding out of bed she took a quick shower and headed downstairs. Cutler was at her desk and looked like hell. He hadn't slept much since she'd gotten back from Washington.

"How you hold up?" She looked at him.

"I've had better days." He smiled. "How's things with you?"

"Good." She smiled. "If you need to talk about anything, you know I'm here for you Jimmy."

"I know. I really just need to get some sleep."

"I'm here. Why don't you go upstairs and lay down."

"I can't do that Jess."

"Yes you can. Now please, let me do this." Cutler looked at Jess. He stood up and kissed her on the forehead.

"Thanks." She touched his cheek.

"Call Shep. Make sure it isn't more then just lack of sleep."

"You always knew how to make me do things I didn't want to." He headed upstairs and Jess grabbed a cup of coffee and started her day.


	15. Chapter 15

To Have And To Hold

Chapter Fifteen

Jess was working on some reports when Cody came in.

"Please tell me you didn't kill Cutler?" Jess smiled.

"Now why would I do that?"

"Because we all wish at some point you would."

"No such luck. I did get a call saying the prison bus that was missing has been found."

"Well that's good. I didn't even know we were missing a prison bus."

"Apparently the GPS locater malfunctioned. It's all good. No sign of Kitrick."

"He picked a bad winter to take us on. Any word from your contacts at the Department of Justice?"

"Nothing. He's so far off the radar no one can find him."

"What's he up to?"

"He wants the drugs from Coral Ridge, we know that much. He's killing everyone who can connect him to Letta. Cody I've flown up there…he's crazy if he thinks he can get to the drugs in those barns. There has to be two tons of snow on them."

"I'm thinking there's more up there then we thought. We need to get the DEA digging up there."

"Cody we can't get anything up there with the road out. I don't know about you but flying all that equipment up there isn't an option in my book." Cody looked at his sister. She had always been the reckless one. The one who did the dare when no one else would. If she wouldn't do it he knew it wasn't going to be done.

"Well maybe the DEA can sit on it till the snow melts." Jess rolled her eyes.

"We'd be better off making a winter camp up there. The house is still standing." Cody looked at his sister.

"It can't be that simple." Jess shook her head. "No way. He would have had to hike in nearly twenty miles of wilderness to avoid the meadow. Cole Kitrick is all city boy Cody. He would have had to pack up the north side of the ridge with enough supplies to last him three months." Jess went to her computer and pressed a few keys. "I should have killed him when I had the chance." The front door opened and a gust of wind blew. A tall blond man came in.

"I'll second that." Jess looked up.

"Jasper Thomas Mc Cullen aren't you a sight for sore eyes." Jess came back from behind the desk and hugged the man.

"How's it going sunshine?" He held her close.

"Tell me you have Kitrick and everything will be perfect." She pushed away from him and looked into his blue eyes.

"Wish I could." Jess smiled. "I heard you settled down."

"Yeah. I heard you didn't." Derek came down the steps. "JT Mc Cullen, my husband Derek Morgan." The men shook hands.

"I heard you sold out to the FBI." The blond man smiled.

"JT was my partner for most of my Secret Service career until I escaped." Derek smiled.

"How was that for you?"

"Long." Jess went to hit JT and he caught her hand. "You're still not fast enough to catch me Hawkes." He looked at the three people in the room. "Kitrick is pissing me off and I need to take him down. He's messing with things he shouldn't. You being one of them."

"He can't hurt me. Not anymore." Derek looked at Jess.

"Is there more to this then you guys are telling me?" Jess looked at Cody. Cody looked at JT. JT shook his head.

"We all quit because of him. Ten of us in all. Jess left first and he blew a gasket because she was breaking up the team. Then me and a few others found jobs in the private sector and he just gave up and came back to California. I think he had some big plans for us that he never shared."

"Maybe more for Jess then the rest of you?" Derek looked at his wife. Jess smiled.

"Kitrick is gay sweetheart. I did absolutely nothing for the man. JT on the other hand…" He smiled.

"Yeah the man is one sick puppy." Jess went back to her desk.

"Cody and I got an idea and as far fetched as it might sound we were thinking that Cole headed up to the ranch and might be staying at the house." JT shook his head.

"I've been up there on a good day and there is no way he hiked it up the back Jess. I know I don't know this mountain like you guys do but I can't see Cole packing that far." Jess brought up the satellite l photos of the mountain. She zoomed in on the area around Coral Ridge.

"He just didn't disappear."

"No he's laying low. He wants what on that ranch and he will do anything to get it Jess." JT looked at Cody. "I suggest we high tail it out of here till the snow melts but I know that's not an option." JT looked at Jess. "You stay close because after me he'll be gunning for you. The more of us he can take out in the process of getting his drugs back the better it'll make him feel."

"He's one man." Derek said.

"One man who's trained an army. If Cole Kitrick wants to fight on our terms we have a chance but he's not playing a fair game and he's not playing with a full deck. We need to find him and take him down before he does anymore damage. We know people but he knows all the wrong people." Again Derek looked at Jess.

"Tell me what you're not telling me." Jess looked at her husband.

"Can you boys leave us alone?" Cody looked at his sister and brother in law.

"Come on JT, I'll buy you a cup of coffee."

"Did Jess make it?" Cody laughed and Jess didn't here his answer.

"So what are you keeping from me." Jess stood up and went to the big picture window. She looked out at the snow falling. For seven in the morning it was dark grey.

"I trained for nearly two years with Kitrick and then worked for him for three. He scooped me up right after college. He had me and JT teamed up about five months after I moved to DC. We were his go to team. His stars. Then I wanted to go home. I needed to go home. I had that feeling I get when Cody's in trouble. For weeks I was so sick. JT wanted to call Matt but I wouldn't let him. He finally took me to the hospital when I couldn't even pack another box." Jess turned and looked into the eyes of her husband. "I was being poisoned. "

"Kitrick?"

"JT went ballistic and wanted to accuse him but there was so many ways it could have been happening we didn't have any proof. All I knew is I had to leave DC."

"If he wanted you dead there was a million ways he could have done it."

"Exactly. He had a million chances and twice that many ways to do it. Why he tried doing it slowly is beyond me. I left as soon as I was able and the rest quit when JT told them what happened." Jess looked down at the floor. "I never told Matt because they already had bad blood between them and if he knew that Cole tried to hurt me he would have done something he would regret."

"I don't think he would have regretted it." Jess smiled and looked at her husband.

"We would have regretted it. Cody only found out because JT came to see how I was doing after he quit. He wanted to tell Matt but I couldn't let him do it. Not the way Matt was pushing me to be a better Ranger. "

"And if you tell him now he will be mad because you didn't tell him then."

"Exactly. I thought when Kitrick moved to the CHP we could keep an eye on him. But after a couple of years we decided if he was done with us we could be done with him. That was five years ago."

"When you went after Cody?" Jess leaned on her desk.

"JT and his team got me the clearance to go. They kept the brass off my ass so I could get out. When I got back Kitrick was there. At the base. He still had all his clearance. He had documents giving me authorization to fly the mission. Giving me a team. Two bogus men who were lost in the extraction. I never questioned it. I never denied it. Between my father and Cole I was cleared of all charges. Now I know why he did it. Bastard started a meth lab in my back yard. He knew if I caught him he would have something to hold over my head."

"Does Matt know about the documents?"

"Yeah. That's why he wasn't surprised when Kitrick showed up."

"So…anything else you need to get off your chest?"

"Still love me?" Derek smiled.

"I don't scare that easily baby." He went to the desk and hugged her. "We'll get though this together." Jess laid her head on her shoulder.

"What did I do to deserve you Derek Morgan?"

"Silly girl you've always deserved to be happy. You just never let yourself." Jess smiled.

"Is that what that feeling is?" She lifted her head and kissed him. Cutler came down the steps.

"Okay you two get a room." Derek laughed.

"Sorry. We got wrapped up." Jess said and laid her head on her husband's chest. "I thought you were sleeping."

"Yeah well my hunger got the best of me and I thought since Derek made dinner I would scramble some eggs."

"No bacon." Jess wrinkled her nose.

"I guess I can skip the artery clogger for you." He headed into the kitchen.

"Now if we could find him some happiness the world would be perfect." Derek smiled.

"One of these days baby it'll happen." Derek pushed her away. "We better get to work or the boss man will separate us." Jess flung herself off the desk and went back around to her chair.

"Tell Cutler he can make me a fried egg sandwich if he wants to repay me for relieving him early."

"Why don't grab the phone and hang out in the kitchen with us?" Jess looked at her husband.

"I'll be there in a minute. I need to check some things."

"Okay. Ten minutes and then I'm coming back for you." Jess laughed.

"I promise…ten minutes." Derek headed into the kitchen and Jess logged in on the FBI server.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

"So then Jess comes running down ally her pants shredded by the fence and the dog and she is pissed." JT was telling the people around the table his favorite Jess story as she stood in the door way. "All the guy heard was 'Stop you bastard' before she threw herself at him and took him down to the pavement."

"You boys having fun?" They looked up and all had guilty grins on their faces. "Did you also tell them the reason why I had to jump the fence with the dog chasing me?"

"I hadn't really gotten that far." JT's blue eyes sparkled.

"He was supposed to distract the dog while I hit the door. A blond with a huge rack passed by the fence before he could throw the steak over."

"She could have had a weapon Jess."

"Whatever." Jess went to the fridge and got some juice. Cutler handed her a plate with her sandwich on it. "Thanks Jimmy." She sat next to Derek.

"You got your man." Jess shook her head.

"No thanks to you. The blond ended up being the man's girlfriend."

"You live for shit like that Hawkes." Jess laughed.

"This is true." They talked and laughed for a long time till the phone rang. Jess got up and took the phone in the hall. "Ranger office, Jess Hawkes."

"Hey Jess, it's Matt."

"Hi. Did you find anything out?"

"You don't want to know. Gather up everyone in the conference room can't I can't say it more then once."

"JT crawled out from under his rock."

"Good. We'll need all the help we can get on this one. I'll call you back in a half hour. Get what you have on Kitrick. I have a flight out of her tomorrow."

"Just you?" Jess held her breath. Matt laughed.

"Don't worry. Robin's coming home to."

"Good. I'm sorry your vacation was cut short."

"We'll come back again. Get to work. I'll call you in a half hour." Matt hung up. Jess turned back to the kitchen to round up the troops.


	16. Chapter 16

To Have And To Hold

Chapter Sixteen

Jess gathered her papers and sat at the end of the long table with Cody. She managed to get everyone together before they went home for the day. When the phone rang the whole team had gathered in the conference room. Jess hit the speaker phone button.

"We're all here Matt."

"Thanks for staying guys. JT, thanks for finding your way back home buddy."

"Anything for the Hawkes. You know that." Jess looked at him and smiled.

"I wanted you all together because I don't want to have to repeat this ever again." Jess heard the tension in his voice. "All three times Terry White was in Stockholm last year so was Cole Kitrick. They both stayed at a resort a few miles from the resort Robin's brothers own. It's an exclusive resort. Caters to…people with lifestyles unlike any of us have seen judging from what I saw of the lobby." Matt blew out a deep breath. "They had adjoining rooms and all three times the rooms needed massive repairs after check out. All repairs were billed to Cole Kitrick's credit card." Jess shook her head.

"I always knew there was something about that man."

"I'm faxing the pictures of the last say. Not that we can get anything off of them but who knows. Also we know that Daniel was here at least one of the stays. Robin's still reeling. We now have all we need to connect the three of them. Now I want to know if Kitrick killed our woman in the hotel, Terry and Daniel."

"I've gone though his financials inside and out Matt. There's no way he could afford the kind of travel he was doing on his salary." JT handed Jess a file. "I pulled everything I could from ATM cams, banks, airports. He's always alone but no one's seen him since after he had Jess arrested. I got nothing on him after the fire." JT tapped his pencil against the table. "He's here somewhere I can feel it."

"He can't be with communication but he could be using disposable cell phones to do it. Hell he could a whole com center on the side of the mountain for all we know. All this snow is hindering everything." Jess said as she studied the map on the wall from her seat.

"JT keep looking. Jess I know you don't want to here it but please don't go anywhere alone. Kitrick knows you can get him up that mountain and he knows what you mean to all of us and I wouldn't put it by him to try something. I'm on the midnight flight tomorrow. I should be home by Thursday if the weather holds." Cody stood up.

"Matt I'm keeping everyone here till you get back. I'll have Izzy get Clair and the kids and take them to my house. Frank and Ginny and Cooper and Zoë can bunk at your place. The closer we stay together the less chance this bastard has of getting in."

"We need to monitor calls closely. I hate to be paranoid but I have a feeling he's not going to let this go till he has his drugs and he's off the mountain. I have to take care of a few things before we get out of here. I want all of you to play it safe. Don't go anywhere alone. We're a team to be reckoned with and I will not have some renegade jackass using us for target practice. Which reminds me vests are mandatory. No one leaves the building with out one." Everyone nodded. "I'll call later and check in. Be safe." Matt hung up.

"Night shift go and get some sleep." Cutler stood up. "Cody I want run something by you and JT." Everyone stood up and went their separate ways. Jess stopped outside the door. She looked at her ex partner.

"I don't care what the hell you have to do to get the son of a bitch but do it quick because I can't live like this." She turned and went to her desk. Cody looked at Cutler and JT.

"This can't be good for her."

"It isn't." Cutler stood up. "We're all family here but the three of us know what this is doing to Jess and Matt. If we don't find this bastard those two people are in more danger then they have ever seen." JT shook his head.

"I should have come as soon as I knew Kitrick was up to something. Me and my boys have been keeping an eye on him and we let him slip though our fingers."

"Don't blame yourself JT we all dropped the ball on this one. With everything going on around here lately we messed up too." Cody threw a file down on the table. "What did you want to run by us Cutler?"

"I didn't want to say anything in front of Jess. If Kitrick had connections like we know he had he knows Matt's in Sweden."

"He can make trouble coming in and out." Cody looked at JT.

"I'm on it." JT took his phone out of his pocket. Cody dialed Matt.

"You go get some sleep. I need you thinking like you were this morning." Cutler nodded and headed upstairs. Matt answered in three rings. "Hey, we thought of something you might not of?"

"What?"

"Kitrick knowing your flying out."

"You're on top of everything."

"Thank Cutler." JT motioned for Cody. "Hold on."

"I can have my jet there on Thursday morning. The flight plans are negotiable and no one can trace the plane back to me. Tell him to be at the airport by four am." Cody nodded. "Keep the reservations with the domestic."

"What about the chances he'll mess with the flight."

"I got people on that. Tell Matt I'll have someone pick up his tickets in the morning."

"Did you get all that?"

"Yeah. Thanks for calling in the big guns."

"It wasn't me. He just showed up."

"He was always good at showing up when he needed to." There was a short silence. "Jess needs to be out of this Cody. Kitrick knows she's our weakness."

"I'll talk to Derek. See if we can figure out what to do with her till this is over."

"Cody I have a bad feeling about this."

"You and me both. We need to hold it together."

"I know. Just do what you have to do Cody."

"Okay." Cody hung up and dialed another number. He hopped he could talk an old friend into a white lie.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Jess sat curled up on her bed at the station. She hated being cooped up but she knew this was best. Derek came up with a can of soda.

"Are you okay?"

"No." She sat up and opened her soda. "How are you doing?" Derek laughed.

"I'm okay as long as you are baby." He sat next to her. "Is something bothering you? I mean something other then the obvious?"

"I just want this to be over. I want Matt home safe and Kitrick out of our lives. Jess closed her eyes. She looked pale. Derek was scared that she had over done it today.

"The DEA is on its way up there in the morning Jess. We just have to sit tight."

"I don't like sitting tight Derek. Maybe I should have just moved to DC." Derek took her chin in his hand and looked her in eyes.

"Kitrick would have come for those drugs weather you were in DC or here. He started this when his dad died. He came home and saw and opportunity. Maybe he ran into Letta on the street, maybe he knew some of her cons. We'll never know. But don't ever think you being here made a difference. "He pulled her into his arms. "He's messed with the wrong bunch of people this time Jess. Between the DEA, FBI, and whatever connections your friend JT had we are going to take him down." Jess closed her eyes. She was way too emotional and it was making her weak.

"When Matt gets back I'm taking myself out of this." Derek pushed her away and looked confused.

"Wait your backing down and I don't have to threaten to tie you down?" Jess smiled.

"I'm not up for this. Not right now. Maybe it's hormones or what ever but I know when to pull myself out of the game." Derek looked at his wife. He thought it was going to be harder then this to make her see that she needed to step back. But he needed to be sure she was sure.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. We have our doctor's appointment tomorrow and I'm sure she'll say the same thing." Jess snuggled against her husband. "I'll go stay at dad and mom's. It's the safest place for me." Derek held his wife. This was too easy.

"Okay you went too far with the part about staying at your parents. What are you up to Jessie Lynn Hawkes Morgan?" Jess laughed.

"You know me to well Derek. Really, I think for your daughter's sake I need to step back." She looked at him. "Really."

"Okay. Why don't you take a nap and I'm going to see about dinner." Jess laid back.

"You're spoiling them." Derek smiled.

"Just thank them for giving me you." She was already asleep. Derek went down the back stairs and headed to the kitchen. Cody was sitting with Cutler and JT at the table.

"Jess told me she wants to sit this one out at your parents when Matt gets back." Cody looked at his brother in law.

"My sister Jess…told you she wants to sit this out?" Derek leaned against the counter.

"I think she feels it's one less thing we have to worry about."

"Amen to that. I called Shep and he was going to tell Hamilton to tell her to take it easy but if she's going to take her self out of the equation without a fight that's all the better." Cody looked down at his coffee.

"It's too easy." JT looked at Cody then Derek. "I don't like it." Derek raised his eye brows at the man. "I'm just saying…" He looked at Cody and then at Cutler. "Back me up here guys. When has Jess ever backed down from a fight?" Both of them were silent.

"JT she's never been pregnant before. Blame it on hormones or common sense. Either way I'm not looking a gift horse in the mouth." Derek turned and started getting dinner out of the oven.

"The rookie's right." Cutler stood and grabbed the coffee pot. "Whatever's going though Jess's mind I'm sure she's just protecting herself and the baby." He also knew that the room was filled with four men who would give their lives for the woman upstairs and when Matt came home that would be five and she knew that. She would walk away if it meant one of them would get hurt protecting her. And that's what she was doing. It might be because of the baby but he knew Jess better then most. It was more to protect them because she knew that they would worry about her and that would make them all a little vulnerable.

"Something wrong?" Derek stood next to him.

"No. I was just thinking I should put another pot of coffee on before I get back to my paper work."

"You know why she's doing this don't you?" Cutler looked at Cody and JT talking at the table.

"I know that your wife has a pretty big fan club and she knows it. There isn't a man or woman in this place that wouldn't protect her with their life but the four of us and Matt…well I know for a fact we'd go beyond that." Cutler looked at Derek. "She's not only doing it for her and your daughter. She's doing it for us." Derek nodded.

"It's good to know I never have to worry about them."

"As long as I'm breathing my friend, any of us for that matter." Cutler patted the younger man on the back and headed to the office.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Jess woke up and she was cold. She never got cold. The clock on the table read seven fifteen. She'd only been sleeping an hour but it felt like forever. The door was closed and she could see the light in the hallway was bight. Sitting up she ran her hands though her hair. Matt would be home soon and she could breath easy. They were stronger when they were together. She knew that, but did Kitrick. Hearing footsteps on the steps she lay back down and closed her eyes. The door opened.

"Jess…" Cody came into the room. "Jess…Derek said you need to come down stairs and eat something." Jess opened her eyes a bit, squinting from the brightness of the hall light.

"Since when do you take orders from Derek?" Cody smiled.

"Since he married my pig headed sister." Cody came farther in the room and closed the door. Jess switched on the small bedside lamp. "How are you feeling?"

"I'll rest easier when Matt's back here safe." She looked at her brother. "You feel it too don't you?"

"I've taken all the precautions I can Jess. Kitrick is smart but we're smarter. I will not let him hurt Matt or anyone."

"This is going to end badly Cody, I can feel it."

"Taking you out of the equation only makes it easy for us to work. Promise me you won't change your mind about that."

"You, Cutler and JT and now Derek are the only ones who know how far Kitrick would go to get what he wants. Promise me you'll be careful." Cody looked into his sister's sad brown eyes. He would promise her anything if it meant bringing happiness back into them.

"We'll get him Jess. We'll get him and we'll all come home safe." He knew that he was pushing it but she needed to know that when all was said and done they would be here for her. All of them, especially Derek. "I won't let anything happen to them." He hugged her and then pulled her to her feet. "You need to eat."

"You're starting to sound like our mother." Cody smiled.

"Better her then dad. Now come on." They headed downstairs to dinner with their friends and family. In the back of both their minds was the fact that this might be the last time they were all together.

*-**-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Cody looked at his wife asleep. He knew he should wake her before he left but she had gotten little sleep the past few days. Now with a house full of people to fuss over he knew she wouldn't get caught up until this was all over. Kissing her forehead he headed to the kitchen. At least he could do was make her a pot of coffee to start her day. The stove light was on and the smell of brewing coffee filled the room. Cody saw Claire Flowers sitting at the table.

"Morning. I didn't think anyone was up." Claire smiled.

"I don't sleep much. Years of farming back in Idaho." Cody smiled. He had always liked Izzy's wife. And now after three months she liked him again.

"How are the kids taking the move?"

"They think its one big slumber party. Sarah won't have to lift a finger for the boys and Ava if the girls have any say about it. Now they want a baby brother." Cody laughed.

"They don't care for the one they have most of the time."

"Oh when he was little and helpless they loved the crap out of him. Now he's loud and obnoxious and they wished he'd go back to that sweet child I gave birth to four years ago."

"I guess it'll always be that way."

"No. One day they'll decide it's better being friends then enemies. Just like you and your brother and sister did." Cody took a cup of coffee and offered one to Claire. She shook her head. "I don't need the stuff." She looked at him. "I need you to keep him safe Cody." He looked at his friend's wife. "I know he can take care of himself and I know that when he took this job it wasn't like any thing else he'd ever done. Just say you'll keep him safe."

"You know I will. All this…" He waved his hand. "It's for piece of mind Claire. Knowing everyone is safe makes us a better team. Jess is going to my parents when Matt gets home and hopefully we'll have Kitrick in custody by the week end."

"Jess was in bad shape when she came back from DC. He changed her. Made her cold. I don't think Matt could handle that again. You either for that matter."

"Now there's Derek."

"Does he know how bad it was?"

"He knows enough." Cody took his last drink of coffee and rinsed out his mug and put it in the dishwasher. "I'll make you a deal nurse Flowers. You take care of my wife and make sure she doesn't over do it and I will make damn sure your husband stays safe." Claire looked into Cody Hawkes blue eyes and knew that he wouldn't let anything happen to the man she loved.

"You got yourself a deal Ranger Hawkes." He smiled and grabbed his jacket of the hook by the kitchen door. "Keep yourself safe too Cody. I know Sarah would be lost without you." He looked back at Claire.

"The feelings mutual. Have a good day Claire." He left feeling a little better knowing Sarah had a friend as good as Claire Flowers.

*-**-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Derek sat at the kitchen table of the Ranger station and sipped his coffee. Jess had been restless all night and he knew she was fighting the inner demons that haunted all good cops. Would she be there when people needed her the most?

"Long night?" Cutler came in from the office.

"Like you wouldn't believe." Cutler poured himself a cup of coffee and turned to face Derek.

"Can I say something without sounding like a bitter ex boyfriend or get hit for over sharing?" Derek smiled.

"Yeah, I guess."

"When Jess came back from DC nine years ago she wasn't the same woman who left. She trusted everyone she worked with. Kitrick changed that. She came back bitter and more stubborn and pig headed then a person had a right to be. I was the only person she let close to her for a really long time. She even kept Cody at arms length. Matt thought it was just her way of rebelling because he rode her harder then he rode any rookie before but I knew it was because of Kitrick."

"Are you saying she could slide back to that place?" Cutler's blue eyes were colder then Derek had ever seen them.

"I'll die before I let that happen Derek. I may have played her situation to my advantage back then but it took going in and pulling Cody out of that prison to make her what she was before she left. She needed something to believe in again. I hope now having you and the baby will keep her from sinking into that hole again." Derek knew from the first time he saw Cutler with his wife that there would always be something more between them they anyone would ever know. He wasn't afraid. Jess had loved the good in Cutler for a very long time. He respected that. Hell he liked Cutler even if he was his wife's ex and a total player.

"It's good to know you have our backs." Cutler smiled and looked down at his coffee.

"Till the day I die Morgan." He looked up and his eyes had warmed. "But if you hurt her I will kick your ass." Derek laughed.

"I wouldn't expect anything less." Cody came in the back door. He looked at his brother in law and Cutler.

"Playing nice boys?"

"You bet." Cutler raised his cup. "I'll be in the office if you need me." Cody hung up his coat.

"Some days that man baffles me."

"He's still in love with your sister." Derek said as he took a long drink of his coffee.

"Your okay with that?"

"Let's just put it this way...Jess learned a lot of things from a lot of people and I think part of who she is comes from loving him for so long." Cody shook his head.

"If you say so. I think he taught her to be a bitch if she's crossed." Derek laughed.

"Maybe he taught her that too."

"What time is her doctor's appointment?"

"Eight. I should go up and wake her up."

"Cutler and Cooper are going to sick around till you get back. I'm sending Flynn with you."

"You really think that's necessary?"

"You bet your ass. I'm not leaving anything up to chance." Cody poured himself a cup of coffee and sat across from Derek. "There is no place Kitrick can go that he's not a wanted man. I just hope someone finds him soon so we can all breathe a sigh of relief."

"It's been a really long winter for you hasn't it?"

"Yeah and I am so ready for spring and lost hikers instead of drug dealers and prison breaks." Derek stood and looked at his brother in law.

"Your lips to Gods ears. I'm going to make sure your sister wakes up on the right side of the bed." He turned and headed upstairs.

"Over sharing again Morgan. Over sharing."


	17. Chapter 17

To Have And To Hold

Chapter 17

Jess was never as nervous as she was sitting in the exam room of the doctor's office that morning. Derek could see the fear in her eyes. He had never once seen that look as long as he had known her.

"Jess there's nothing to be worried about." She looked at him and glared.

"I know she found something bad." Derek held her cold hand.

"If she found something you know she would have called. Jess please, your going to make yourself sick.

"Where the hell is she." There was a knock on the door and the young doctor came in.

"Hello Jess…how are things with you?" She smiled at Derek. "I heard you two had a couple of weddings and a long road trip." Jess closed her eyes. The younger woman's giddiness was making her more nervous.

"It has been a pretty long month for the both of us." Derek told her.

"I looked over your birth parents medical records and there are just a few things I want to mention. Her one full term pregnancy that resulted in your birth was fairly uneventful. She did suffer sever post pardom depression for a long time after your birth." Jess looked at the woman.

"Does that mean that I will get it too?"

"Of course not. We'll monitor things and make sure everything is going okay but the severity of Hale Mc Cormicks depression looked like it stemmed from a much bigger psychosis."

"You mean my mother was insane before she had me?"

"She was quite unstable for many years. It came and went. Knowing your back ground maybe you would like to go though the files yourself." Jess shook her head.

"I don't want to know anything about them. They were just the people who gave me life." Jess looked at Derek. "Only if it affects me or our baby."

"You've never had a psychotic episode Jess so I don't see it happing."

"What about when the baby is born?" The doctor took her hand.

"Thirty years ago this sort of thing was not as treatable as it is now Jess. I promise things will be okay. You have a wonderful support system and I promise I won't let you slip away like she did." Jess didn't look convinced and the drive home was tense. Derek really wasn't sure what to say. They got back to the station and Jess headed upstairs and closed the bedroom door without a word. Derek went down to Matt's office where Cody was sitting with Cutler.

"Something wrong?" Cody looked concerned at his brother in law.

"I'm not sure yet."

"Well when will your know?" Derek looked at both men. Together they knew more about Jess then he ever would. No matter how long he lived.

"The doctor told Jess that her mom suffered from post pardum depression. She's not taking that or the fact that Hale had psychotic episodes very well at all." Cody shook his head.

"This can't be good." Derek sat next to Cutler.

"She was really quiet on the way home. I can take a lot of things but my wife shutting down isn't one of them." He looked at Cutler. "Will you go talk to her?" Cutler looked surprised.

"Me?"

"You know more about what happened when she was a kid then either of us. She talked to you about the diary and the things she found."

"I'm thinking talking to me is the last thing she needs right now Derek."

"Next to Cody you're her best friend. Please, if she shuts down…" Cutler looked at the stress in the younger man face.

"Okay, but you do know that she hasn't trusted me in three years."

"She just needs to talk it out with someone who knows more about Hale and Lee then I do."

"Cody read the diaries."

"But she didn't confide in him like she did you. She told me you were the only one she shared most of things that went on when she was with the Mc Cormicks."

"If she shoots me I'm coming back to haunt you both." He grabbed an orange soda out of the fridge and headed upstairs. He knocked on the door.

"Come in." He opened the door. She was sitting on the bed with a photo album on her lap. Closing the door behind him she looked up when he handed her the soda. "Thanks."

"You were beautiful even then." She smiled. "Talk to me Jess. I got a two hundred pound ex FBI profiler shaking in his boots downstairs and I haven't a clue how to console him."

"She was crazy Jimmy."

"You already knew that Jess. Nothing the doctor said should have been a surprise."

"I know but…" She looked at him. "She tried to hurt herself. She tried to hurt me. My…Lee took me away and brought me here." She touched the picture of her sleeping on Jesse's chest. "They have always been my only family. Them and you."

"Now you have Derek too."

"Yeah. How long is he going to stay with a woman whose mother was a freak?"

"Jess, Derek doesn't care what kind of mother Hale Mc McCormick was. He loves you for you. He loves your smile and your heart and everything about you. He looks at you Jess like you're his everything."

"Lee grew to hate Hale every single day of his life. I don't ever want Derek to look at me the way he looked at her." Cutler looked at the woman he spent half his life loving. She needed to see how much she was loved.

"Jess I know that Hale was a poor excuse for a mother and Lee was no better as a father but damn it they are not the people who taught you how to love. Jesse and Jackie Hawkes taught you how to love. Cody and Matt taught you how to love. Hell even I taught you a thing or two. We can fight all night about nature and nurture baby but one thing is for curtain you are not crazy and you will never in a million years do anything to hurt your children."

"How do you know?" Cutler took his face in his hands and made her look at him.

"Because I have known you most of your life and I've seen what's in your heart. There is nothing but love and goodness. You prove that everyday by still being my friend after what I did. Jess, Derek loves you more then anything. I can see it in his eyes every time he looks at you. Your mother's illness was her illness. Not yours."

"I could become her." Cutler shook his head.

"Not in a million years." He kissed the top of her head and stood up. "Just be happy Jess. Don't let this bring you down. You're stronger then Hale ever was. We're not going to let you loose yourself…ever. Lee let Hale slip away because he really didn't know any other way. Now please talk to your husband before he wares a hole in the floor." Jess smiled.

"Thank you." He smiled.

"If you need to talk you know I'm here. "

"I know."

"Can I send your husband up so you can reassure him your okay with everything you learned today?"

"Yeah."

"Matt will be home tomorrow and we'll get Kitrick for everything he's done Jess. From leaving you in Baja to putting you in jail."

"You still think that Matt can perform miracles don't you Jimmy." He smiled.

"When I grow up I want be just like Matt." He left her alone but she knew she wouldn't be alone for long because she heard Derek on the steps. He poked his head in the room.

"How are you feeling?" She reached out her hand and he took it.

"I'm sorry I scared you enough to go to Cutler for help."

"Did he help?" She smiled a small smile.

"Yeah. He helped a lot. He told me things I already knew but just needed to be reminded."

"You know that no matter what I love you Jess, right?"

"Yeah." She leaned in and kissed him. "We better get back to work before the boss comes looking for us.

"You and I are going out for dinner tonight. Just the two of us." Jess smiled.

"Sounds good." They both headed downstairs to the start of a very long day.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Jess threw herself down on the couch and looked at the clock. It was three in the morning and a plane crash had kept the whole team busy for most of the day and night. Derek and Cody were still at the hospital with the FAA and the victims but she needed to sleep. Her body ached like she's run a marathon. The phone rang.

"Damn it, no." Jess pressed the on button. "Ranger Station Jess Hawkes."

"What are you doing up at three in the morning?" Jess smiled.

"Strip poker. Are you on your way home big brother because I so need a day off?"

"I'll be home by tonight. How's things?"

"A plane crashed near Angel's Creek on the Nevada side. A group of high school kids."

"Survivors?"

"All twenty and the pilots safe and sound. I think they though it was going to play out like 'Alive' or something." Matt laughed.

"You sound beat Jess, is everything okay?"

"It will be when your safe under our roof,"

"What aren't you telling me?"

"He's coming after us Matt. Maybe not today or even next week but he's gunning for you and me." Matt let out a deep breath.

"When I get home I'm sending you to Vermont."

"No Matt. I will not sit idly by and let him attack this family."

"If it weren't for the baby Jess I'd want you there right next to me but I can't risk it. That baby means too much to too many people."

"I know."

"You and I are the only ones who need to know about this. You make sure the Cessna is clean and running and when I get back I'll fly you there." Jess closed her eyes. Matt knew that this assault had less to do about the drugs and more to do about revenge. "Talk to me Jess."

"I'll have it ready."

"No one Jess, not even Derek."

"Okay. Be careful Matt."

"I always am." He hung up and Jess closed her eyes. Only three people knew about the house in Vermont her birth father's parents had left her. It wasn't even in her name. Jess made sure of that. Cody and Matt always knew one day it would come to this with Kitrick because he never backed down. Ever. Clutching the phone she closed her eyes and let sleep take her and dreams haunt her before the nightmare overtook her.


	18. Chapter 18

To Have and To Hold

Chapter Eighteen

Jess slid under the Cessna and drained the oil pan. She had barley closed her eyes and Derek and Cody had come back and the work day had started again. Rubbing the grit out of her eyes she checked some other things as she waited for the oil to drain.

"Hiding baby sister?" Jess looked to Cody's boots.

"Therapy. Idol hands and all that." He squatted down and watched his sister make adjustments on the small plane.

"Jess you need sleep."

"I slept."

"Derek and I got back at six. When did you fall asleep on the couch?"

"I'm fine Cody." He grabbed her leg and pulled her out from under the plane.

"Matt will be here in a few hours."

"More reason for me to have my work done."

"We haven't used this plane since fall."

"More the reason to make sure it's in shape to fly if we need it." She slid herself back under the plane and checked the hydraulic fluid.

"Why are we playing games Jess? Talk to me."

"I'm fine Cody. I just want to do something with my hands. I can't sit behind that damn desk any more." She ducked to look at her brother. "I just need to work." Cody knew the desk job wasn't going to suit his sister much but to keep her baby safe that's where she needed to be. Working on a plane or a bike now and then wouldn't hurt if it kept her sane.

"Okay but it's getting cold. Come in if your fingers go numb." She nodded. He left her then. Her bag was packed and ready to go. Matt would be home in three hours and they would head to Vermont. She knew he'd be waiting. That was the whole idea. Kitrick thinking he would have her and Matt alone.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Cody stood in the terminal at the Lake Tahoe airport. Matt was due in any minute and it wasn't a minute too soon. Jess was just putting the finishing touches on the Cessna and was jumpier then a cat in a room full of rocking chairs. He didn't know what was going on and he didn't like it. Jess had been quiet again and she looked at him with strange knowing eyes. Seeing Matt and Robin across the air port Cody stopped worrying about his sister and started worrying about his brother. Matt looked like hell. He looked a hell of a lot older then his forty-three years.

"Hey Toad." Matt came up to him and they hugged. Cody hugged Robin.

"I'm sorry we hand to cut your trip short."

"We end this now and then we all take a vacation." Cody smiled.

"I hear you. The kids voted we're headed to Disneyworld."

"The boys voicing their opinions already?"

"They take after their aunt Jess. They have an opinion for everything." Cody and Matt loaded the bags in the back of the truck and they all got in.

"The plane ready?"

"Yeah. Why are we keeping this such a secret?"

"Because Kitrick is everywhere. If he thinks anyone else will be in Vermont he'd be spooked. If he had the phone tapped like I know he did he'll know me and Jess are going to the farm."

"What if he shoots you out of the sky?" Cody looked at his brother. Robin looked at both of them.

"I won't let that happen. Anyway Kitrick will want to see our faces before he finishes us off." Cody rolled his eyes.

"OH now there's a pleasant thought."

*-*-*-*-*-*-*BAU Headquarters, Quantico, Virginia*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Penelope Garcia stood at the door of her boss. Aaron Hotchner sat at his desk and she wasn't sure if what she had was something that needed his attention or not.

"Are you going to stand there all day Penelope or are you going to tell me why you're wearing a hole on my office door step?"

"I just got the weirdest e-mail ever."

"Okay and this is my problem because?" She walked in and set it on his desk.

"Because it makes no sense and it was rerouted a zillion times and if I'm not mistaken it's from Cody Hawkes but it…oh just read it."

"Penelope, the party is on at grandmas. Invite the whole crew and tell them to bring all the best party favors because the guest of honor has more then we bargained for. "Hotch looked at his computer tech. "Your right. It is from Cody. I want you to find out if the Hawkes or the Mc McCormick's have or had some land on the east coast. Their setting a trap for Kitrick and they're asking us for help."

"I'm on it. But sir if Kitrick is as connected as people says will he figure this out."

"You have all the best defenses. That's why he sent that to you." Dave Rossi was at the door.

"I just got the strangest e-mail."

"From California?"

"Yeah. 'Dave, we're leaving soon so be there first to open up the place and air it out. We don't have much time so get there before dawn. Jesse.'"

"So somewhere on the east coast is a place where the Hawkes are going to set up Kitrick?" Garcia looked at Rossi. "Give me five minutes and I'll have every parcel of land a McCormick or a Hawkes ever owned on the East Coast." She bolted out of the door.

"What did I miss?" Hotch checked his e-mail. There was one from Derek.

"Seems the Hawkes found a way to smoke out Kitrick. I got an e-mail from Derek. 'I miss the old job but the new ones not so bad. Charlotte O'Rourke was the best I ever had.'" Hotch looked at Rossi. He grabbed the phone and paged Garcia.

"Yes sir."

"Run any land belonging to a Charlotte O'Rourke that once belonged to one of Jess's relatives." Hotch heard her typing quickly.

"Jess's late paternal grandparents owned a farm just outside Morrisville Vermont and it was sold about ten years ago to a Charlotte O'Rourke. I run her and I get a bunch of road blocks that say Charlotte is not who she says she is."

"It's because she's Jess. Send the directions to us and get the plane on the runway."

"Yes sir." He hung up with Garcia and called the FBI office closest to the farm and put them on stand by. Cole Kitrick was going down tonight if the Rangers and the FBI had anything to do with it.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Jess restlessly ran her hand down her belly. The bump wasn't much but she knew it was there and it soothed her to feel it. Derek and Matt were in the front seats and she watched them intently seeing there expressions in the dark night from the glow of the interment panel. Matt was tired and Jess knew that exhaustion and flying didn't mix. She also knew Matt wouldn't let anything happen to her and the baby.

"Jess you should sleep. Cody said you hardly got any rest last night." Matt looked back at her.

"I'm fine. You should be the one back here sleeping."

"I slept on the plane. Just because I didn't shave doesn't mean I didn't sleep." Jess smiled. Matt had forgotten how his sister's smile could ease his worry. "Sleep." Reaching over she touched Derek's arm. He took her hand and held it.

"It won't be long baby and this will be all over."

"I know." Holding her husbands hand against her belly she fell asleep to the light tapping inside her womb. Their daughter loved the large warm hand of her father against her. At night when Derek rolled over and rested his hand on her belly she did flip flops to please him. Jess smiled. Before the day was over Kitrick would pay for what he had done to her all those years ago.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Matt landed the plane with ease on the plowed runway that ran behind the small farm Jess had inherited from her grandparents. He looked out into the darkness. This was their only hope of drawing Kitrick out. Matt knew Jess would understand when he made the call. She did everything right. He looked back at her sleeping figure. He had underestimated all those years ago.

"You need to stop blaming yourself for all this." Matt looked at his brother in law.

"It is my fault. If I hadn't sent her to DC none of this would be happening."

"You don't know that. Maybe he was in with Letta and the others longer then we thought. He lived in those mountains just like you did. Only he saw the potential of hiding criminals and a drug house up there. "

"I should of let Jess stay when she wanted to."

"Then the Jess you know now wouldn't be. Doing what she did set her up for things to come Matt. If she hadn't of fought with you and Cody that winter and stayed in Tahoe instead of going to DC do think she would have had the knowledge and the strength to pull Cody out of Afghanistan? Or been the kind of woman she is today? What she lived made her what she is today. I don't know about you but I wouldn't want her any other way." Matt knew Derek was right. Jess wouldn't be who she was today if it wasn't for the fights she fought over the years.

"Your right. Thanks for making me see that." He looked out into the field in front of him. "You remember what I taught you?"

"Yeah. Start the engine, taxi, stay out of the line of fire." Matt looked at Jess. "You think he's out there?" He looked back at Derek.

"He's out there. Along with a couple dozen FBI agents."

"Do you think he fell for it?"

"I guess it's time we find out." Matt reached over and woke Jess up. "Time to go to work." Jess drifted awake.

"Can we just take off again a fly to Jamaica or some other warm place?"

"As much as I would love to do that Jess we should really get this over with." She sat up and took her Kevlar vest from under the seat. She strapped it on and put her coat on. "Let's get this over with. I have a dinner date with my husband I had to cancel last night."

"Let's go." They climbed out of the plane and shut the doors.

"You're sure he's not going to peg us off as we walk to the house?"

"Yeah. I know Cole well enough to know he likes to look his enemy in the eye."

"Let's hope he doesn't decide it's easier to just get rid of us."

"He shoots once he's going down. The FBI is out there too you know."

"Let's hope." Jess took a deep breath and followed Matt to the front porch of the farm house. He took the keys out of his pocket. "He could have rigged the place."

"JT's people have had this place wired since Kitrick arrest you. I made sure of it." She looked at him.

"You know about what happened when I left don't you?" Matt down at his boots and then at his sister.

"Yeah. A few years ago I met JT in Aspen for some skiing and he had too much to drink. He told me about you getting sick before you came home."

"I didn't want you to feel guilty. So I just made you mad." Matt smiled.

"Yeah you sure in the hell know how to do that." Matt unlocked the door and went inside.

"Come out; come out where ever you are." Jess whispered. She set down her bag. "The old place looks good."

"Yeah. Maybe you and Derek can move up here when you retire."

"Matt after this is over I'm never leaving our mountains." The hammer of a gun being pulled back made her stop in her tracks.

"You're never going back to your mountain Jessie Lynne." The sound of Cole Kitricks voice made Jess's blood run cold. Matt pushed her in front of him putting himself between Jess and the sound of Cole's voice.

"How the hell did you get in here?" Matt looked into the shadow where his voice was coming from.

"Did you underestimate me again Matt? You always seem to do that."

"Well you always were pretty predictable." Kitrick stepped out of the shadows.

"You think JT's little entourage can slow me down. I taught most of those people everything they know. Taught your little sister most of what she knows too."

"You forgot who raised her Cole. She learned more from our old man then you could ever teach anyone." Jess undid the snap on her holster at her hip. "Just give it up Kitrick. There's no place to go."

"You forget who I am. I hid that meth lab from you and your crew for almost two years. If it wasn't for Kelly's brother screwing things up I would have been out of there long before you got wind I was even involved."

"You knew my dad's deal with Coral. Unless there were weapons involved we stayed clear. As long as your boys behaved the Rangers never bothered them."

"Yeah and then Letta started misbehaving. Messing around with the damn cons after I got her out of jail…you could have kept that one Hawkes."

"So it comes back down to a woman Kitrick. You messed up my mountains for a piece of ass?" Matt new there wasn't any place for Cole to go but he was going to have shoot first and Matt didn't like the odds of him missing.

"You got to admit Mattie…she was one fine piece of ass." Matt looked at the man who had been a good friend once. He stood up for his country and his beliefs and sold out for a woman who was a murdered and a drug dealer.

"She wasn't worth selling out for." Matt reached behind him and Jess placed her gun in his hand. There was no way Kitrick was going to get between him and Jess. He'd die before he'd let that happen. But the chance never came. Matt blinked once and Kitrick had his gun up but the sound of breaking glass made him pivot and take Jess down to the ground. Matt turned to see Cole's right shoulder bleeding and his gun three feet away. The front door opened and JT walked into the room.

"The son of a bitch is lucky I didn't move an inch to left." He kicked the gun away from the man on the ground. "Wake up you bastard." JT picked Cole up off the floor. "It's a flesh wound you prick now pay attention." He pushed Cole against the wall. The older man opened his eyes.

"You always were a sucky shot Mc Cullen." JT laughed.

"If I wanted you dead you psycho I could of done it with my eyes closed. You owe some people some explanations. We know you started drug dealing for a piece of ass now why did you poison Jess nine years ago?" Kitrick looked at JT then Jess and Matt. He laughed.

"Because it was the only thing he cared about more then his old man and brother. She was his weakness. Still is from what I can see." Matt took a step but Jess stopped him.

"It's not worth it Matt. He'll get his." Jess took his hand and headed toward the door as the FBI and JT's men started pouring in. Aaron Hotchner came to her.

"Everything alright?" Jess looked at her brother. His face laden with exhaustion.

"I think it just might be okay." She looked at the FBI agent. "Thank you."

"Anything for Morgan's girl." He smiled. "Tell him to say hello before you take off." Jess looked at her brother again.

"I think we might be staying awhile." She took Matt and went out to the front porch. She sat him down on the old wicker chair that had been there just about as long as the house. Taking her gun that was still in his right hand she put it back in her holster. "Talk to me Matt." He swallowed hard.

"You should have let me kill the bastard."

"Why? So you can end your career like he ended his, by doing something stupid and juvenile? It's not the way we Hawkes do things Matt." Derek came up the steps. Seeing his wife and brother in law were okay he began breathing easier.

"Good to see you both upright." Jess smiled. She hugged her husband.

"Matt wouldn't have it any other way. Would you big brother?" He looked at Jess and couldn't help but give a small smile.

"No." He said softly. Emily Prentiss came up the steps and handed Morgan a set of keys.

"Hotch said to take these two to the nearest motel and he'd pick up the tab. We need a report in the morning." Morgan hugged his friend.

"Tell him thanks." He looked at Matt. He wasn't sure the man could make it down the steps let alone to a motel. "Let's get out of here. Tell JT and Hotch I'll call them in the morning." Jess took Matt's hand and hauled him up from the chair and they headed to the first place they could lay there heads.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Matt rolled over and looked at the clock. It said six fifteen. He knew he had slept way more then an hour because the sun had been coming up when he unlocked the door to the small room. Jess had let him sleep nearly twelve hours. Hell he needed another twelve more. Sitting up he grabbed his cell phone from his bed side table. She had turned that off some how too. There was a brown bag sitting next to it. Grabbing it and opening it he found a razor, toothbrush, toothpaste and deodorant. Smiling he got up and took a much needed shower.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Jess sat in the small diner across from the motel with Spencer Reid. Derek had gone with Emily to file a report and he didn't want her left alone. She liked the young doctor since they met. He was much too serious for her taste though.

"How's your brother doing?"

"I've been afraid to wake him. He looked so tired when we took off from Tahoe last night. I wasn't sure he was going to make it."

"You all can rest easy now that Kitrick is out of commission."

"Is he?" Reid looked into his coffee cup.

"I know the FBI and the rest of the alphabet agencies are going to do their best to make sure that Cole Kitrick is punished for his crimes."

"He's got friends."

"Apparently so do you. Hotch got a call before we left giving him full authorization to use whatever force necessary to bring Cole Kitrick into custody. In or out of a body bag were the precise words, I believe." Jess smiled.

"I'd like to think we've all made some good friends in our lives." Spencer looked at the woman across from him.

"Has Derek ever mentioned anything about my mother to you?"

"I know she lives in Vegas. He said that you promised the next time you go see her you'd give us a call."

"My mom is in a hospital. A psychiatric facility." He looked at her with knowing eyes. "Don't be mad Derek told me about Hale Mc McCormick. He wanted to understand some things." Jess knew Derek wanted her to know it was going to all be okay. She looked at Spencer. His wide child like eyes full of concern. "Don't be mad at him."

"I know he wants me to know all I can about why my birth parents were the way they were."

"I could give you a bunch of statistics and professional opinions and such but I know for a fact that if you were going to be anything like her you'd have already shown signs. Most woman experience one or more psychotic episodes sometime during puberty if they're going to have one."

"I know the odds Spencer. I just don't like not being in control of something."

"But Jess you are in control. If your weren't you would of experienced an episode long before this. My mom was fourteen when she experienced her first attack. Over the years she's gone off her meds and she's regretted it. Except for the time she was pregnant with me. I know it was hard for her to do but it all worked out in the end. I have never had any kind of break down or episode. Well not of the psychotic kind anyway." He smiled. "Sometimes is bread into you Jess. Sometimes it isn't and I know your one of those that it wasn't."

"It means so much more coming from a doctor then my ex-boyfriend." Spencer looked confused. "Forget it. Thank you Spencer." Matt came into the diner. Jess smiled. He looked so much better then he had twelve hours ago. He slid into the booth next to Jess.

"I'm starved. You could have woke me up."

"I know, but you actually looked peaceful lying there so I let you sleep another six hours." He laughed.

"Dr. Reid." Matt shook his hand.

"Ranger Hawkes. Good to see you up and around."

"Thanks, and it's Matt please." The waitress came over and poured him some coffee and took his order. "Derek at the farm?"

"Yeah. They're clearing things up. All we need to do is file our witness statements and we're out of here by morning."

"Good. I think Cody and Cutler both need CPR after hearing about what went down last night." Jess looked at Matt.

"If he hated us so much why did he help me when I got back from getting Cody out of Afghanistan?"

"I guess we'll never know. Who knows, maybe at his trial he yell cover up and take you down with him." Jess glared at her brother. "Just kidding. There's no way that's even still on the books after this long. The government won't want to look that bad now after six years."

"Oh you better hope so because I'm not giving birth to my baby in jail." Derek came to the table and leaned over and kissed his wife before he sat down.

"Who said you're going to jail?" He sat next to Reid. Jess smiled.

"If Kitrick tries to make a deal and takes back his story about authorizing Cody's extraction from Afghanistan."

"Kitrick is on his way to Florence, Colorado."

"The Supermax?" Jess was surprised they would move that fast.

"Yep. JT's firm was contracted to escort Kitrick to Colorado." Jess looked at Matt.

"JT won't let that bastard out of his sight till he's safely behind those walls."

"Matt JT doesn't plan on taking Kitrick anywhere." Matt knew his sister was right. Kitrick had messed with him one to many times and knowing that Kitrick hurt Jess to get to Matt had made JT's easy going temperament a thing of the past.

"He'll do what he thinks he has to Jess. He always has." Jess looked down at her tea as the waitress brought Matt his dinner. "Jess he's been taking care of things like this long before he was your partner."

"I know." She smiled at him. "Eat your dinner before you starve." Jess knew that JT hadn't always played by the rules so it wasn't a shock to her what Matt had said but she was still worried that her friend would step too far over the line one too many times and end up on the wrong side of the law.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Jess crawled into bed and laid her head on her husband's chest. He was reading but he set the book down and took her in his arms. It had been a rough few days. He ran his hand down her hair and rubbed her back.

"Did you talk to Reid?"

"Yeah. He's worried I'll be mad at you for telling him about Hale."

"Are you?" She smiled.

"No."

"Cody says we need to fight more."

"Cody lives for make up sex." She looked up at Derek and kissed him. "He's been married three years. He needs to fight with Sarah to make it exciting." Jess moved her leg over her husbands. "We still got a couple of years till that happens." Derek smiled and pulled his wife on top of him.

"Oh baby the way we start fires I don't think we'll have any problems in two years or twenty." Derek rolled her over and showed her just what he meant."

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-**-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Matt landed the Cessna on the small landing strip near the Ranger station and taxied the plane to the hanger. Jess seemed a little more herself today then she had yesterday. Cody, Cutler, Robin and their parents were waiting for them.

"Home sweet home." Jess said as she got out.

"Is she okay?" Matt looked at Derek.

"I think she's worried about JT."

"I talked to him this morning. He delivered Kitrick to Colorado and he's heading back to LA. He said he though about nothing else but crashing the plane into the nearest mountain peak and getting rid of the bastard."

"What stopped him?"

"All he could see was Jess standing over his grave with a disapproving look on her face." Matt smiled. "Even two thousand miles away my sister can make an unscrupulous man like JT rethink his path in life."

"I have a feeling that JT may have some connections more unscrupulous then himself behind those Supermax walls." Matt looked at his brother in law.

"You think?" They both got out of the plane to greet the rest of the family.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Cody tucked in his children one at a time. He said a prayer for each of them and then headed to his own room. It had been a long time since the house was at peace. Sarah had gone to sleep an hour ago after feeding the boys one last time. She had been such a trouper the last few weeks. Matt had talked to him and Cutler about some changes he wanted to make and some people he wanted to hire to take some of the burden off the three of them and Jess. Matt had learned over the last few weeks that they all needed something more then the job now and then. Cody opened the bedroom door. The room was basking in candle light.

"It took you long enough Hawkes." Sarah was laying on the bed with nothing on but a smile.

"I thought you were sleeping." She smiled. Her blond hair shining in the candle light.

"You would rather me sleeping?"

"Not on your life baby." He walked to the bed and leaned over and kissed her. He was going to like having more help at the station and spending more time with his wife and kids. He could get really used to this. Sarah pulled him down and kissed him. It would be a long time before either one of them would forget that night. Because… it was the first night the boys slept though the night.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Matt woke up early and put a pot of coffee on and watched the sunrise over the mountains for the first time in over a week. He had been a fool to think all those years ago that Jess would want to leave the beauty of the mountains. He never wanted to so why should she. He felt warm arms wrap around him.

"Come back to bed." Robin whispered.

"Marry me." He wasn't sure why the words slipped out just then but he didn't regret saying them.

"Matt…" He turned and took her in his arms.

"Twenty years is a long time Robin. We know each other. I love you and I've loved you for as long as I can remember. Please just think about it."

"Matt. I don't have to think about it. I love you too. Yes…I'll marry you." Matt picked her up and kissed.

"I love you Robin." Matt figured it would be along time before the happiness he was feeling right now would ware off.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Jesse Hawkes watched the sun rise on his back porch. His wife came outside and joined him.

"I can't believe how peaceful it is this morning."

"The kids are home. It won't stay that way for long." Jackie smiled.

"It won't be long and we'll have another grandbaby."

"And another daughter-in-law." Jesse smiled. "It's about time that boy came to his senses."

"Things are going to be different around here." Jesse looked at his wife.

"Yeah all for the better my love. All for the better."

The End

I have a ton of more Idea's on the way so check back soon!!! I will also try to finish Beginnings before I start anything else!


End file.
